Single hen

[The Dogmother]

This piece in the Daily Mail today from Richard Littlejohn made me laugh - remember that excellent original from Joyce Grenfell?

 

Wayne, don't DO that! This is finishing school

 

Labour is planning to set up "finishing schools" for working-class teenagers to help them get better jobs when they leave.

 

According to Beverley Hughes, one of this government's monstrous regiment of ministers, youngsters from poor homes often lack the "interpersonal skills" demanded by employers.

 

I don't know about finishing schools, it's nursery schools which mould children's characters. By the time they're Vicky Pollard's age, it's too late.

 

What children need is a little less Beverley Hughes and a bit more Joyce Grenfell.

 

"Wayne, don't do that.

 

All right children, we're going to have a free activity period, so you can choose what you want to do. No, Kiefer, you can't play mummies and daddies with Chardonnay.

 

I know I said you could choose, but I want you to pull your Calvin Kleins back up immediately.

 

Wayne, don't do that.

 

Put that spliff out, Myleene. I don't care what Kate Moss does. Wayne, don't do that.

 

How many more times, Gazza? The meths is for cleaning the paint brushes, not for drinking. You know what happened last time. You don't want another Asbo now, do you?

 

Wayne, will you stop doing that. Britney, give me that right now. You know I don't allow iPods in class.

 

Lemar, will you please leave Paris alone. Never mind what she did on YouTube. Wayne,

 

I'm not going to tell you again.

 

J-Lo, I don't care if you are playing Grand Theft Auto III, that doesn't mean you can kill Ashlee. Do you want to spend the rest of the day in the naughty corner?

 

Stop eating that, Jade. It's not a Witchety Grub, it's disgusting. Wayne, for the last time, don't do that.

 

Where's George? What do you mean, Ashlee, he's gone burgling? Who said he could go burgling?

 

Mohammed, I've warned you about bringing Semtex to school in your backpack. And will you please stop trying to set fire to your trainers.

 

What have you got there, Tracey? Show me. What are you doing with a chipolata? Did that come out of Prescott's lunchbox?

 

Wayne, don't DO that!"

[Cinnamon]

 

Very good!

[pepe]

Sooooo funny well done and well said!

[Egluntyne]

I read it too. Very funny.

 

Apparantly teachers have lists of names that make their hearts sink, and most of these are on it.

 

My friend who is a reception teacher says Britney, Paige, Leroy and Keifer make her blood run cold as they always live up to expectation.

[Guest]

There was a Keifer at Juliettes school. It was a joy to hear his mothers dulcet tones across the playground every morning

[Looney]

This news about keeping people at school until they are 18 slightly confuses me, in particular the fact that stopping people ending up in "dead-end" jobs is one of the aims.

 

Whilst I agree that everyone should have a chance at getting a good education......these jobs will still need doing regardless. Having a more educated population does not make these jobs disappear - so who exactly will be doing these jobs?

 

And why are we so intent on downgrading anyone who is in a "dead-end" job? At least they are working....my gran was "just" a cleaner for most of her life but she took real pride in her work and I couldn't stand the fact that she might have been regarded as second-class because of the level of job she did.

 

Sorry, rant over!

[pepe]

I agree Lorna! I also think we should let the hard to teach, don't want to be at school, opt out, put them in the real world and they would soon be back. Did'nt hurt our Grandparents or parents! Rant over