Storms and chickens

[xScrunchee]

Hi everyone

 

As some of you may know-I educate my children at home.

This is of course not everyone's cup of tea and people all have their own opinions whether they think this is a good thing or not.

 

This post is not about trying to convert people to educate their children at home or to preach in any way whatsoever but I just thought that being that many people do not know that it is an option it would just be nice to let everyone know that we have choices.

It is a perfectly legal option. SCHOOL IS NOT COMPULSARY!!

 

First of all-

1) Anyone can educate their children at home.

2) You do not have to be rich.

3) You do not have to be a teacher.

4) You do not have to follow the national curriculum.

5) You do not need permission from anyone.

6) You do not need to follow a timetable.

7) You DO need to have a genuine interest in your child.

 

 

Thousands of children are being home educated in the UK.

People take their children out of school for a variety of reasons, some being:

Bullying, safety, pressure placed upon children to do SATs etc, peer pressure to smoke, take drugs, have underage sex. Can also be for moral or religious reasons, not agreeing with the system as a whole, a school 'phobia' and many more reasons.

 

Home educated children are not socially deprived weirdo's with no friends.

 

Like I said at the start of this post-I am not trying to push views onto people-I'm only trying to make people aware that there are other options. Please don't shout at me!

 

If you have any questions or are interested in any way please either PM me or log on to- www.education-otherwise.org

[CatsCube]

I looked into doing this with my two, out of interest what age do you intend to home school your up untill?

 

The thing that made me decide against is that their is very little regulated support of home schoolers, so its very hard to get them submitted for important exams like GCSEs and come away with decent grades, as you dont know if they are learning the right things.

 

I do think it can be a lively thing to do with young children as it improves your bond, gives them ghreat one on one education and can teach them better than in a school. However I would worry that when you did have them start at a school for say secondary school it would be harder for them to make friends as they haddnt gone to the same junior schools. I had this problem myself, I was put in a form with non of my old school mates, where as everyone else already knew and was friends with several other people from their old schools and grouped off, and as a result I was bullied to the point of running away from home and had to move schools.

[Ziggy]

For a short while I considered it myself... When we first looked for a school for my first daughter (she's ten now), we were in rented accomodation, and our contract at that house ended the summer before she'd have started school... I checked with the local state school and they told me that if we moved out of the catchment area that summer, we'd loose our daughter's place, the only way to not lose it would be to move after the start of the school year, which was not possible for us... I asked if we'd be guaranteed a place in whichever area we'd move to, but we were told that most likely by then all schools would be oversuscribed and we wouldn't be able to get a place at any of our choices, we'd have to default to a school three or four miles away that doesn't have a good record and that was very last on our wish list!!

 

I thought, coming from abroad from a city where there is no such thing as 'catchment' area, that this was an unintentional form of discrimination against people who rented rather than owned their house, as we moved regularly for a few years while looking for the perfect place to buy, and as we didn't move very far each time but would have kept changing catchment area, I couldn't see the logic of my child's place at school being taken away just because I'd move three streets north or south... I got fairly disgusted with the whole system, and considered educating her at home...

 

Eventually we enrolled her into a private school, cause they didn't mind where we lived, they're happy as long as we pay the bills... We had hoped for a co-ed state school and our girls all now go, kind of forced by circumstances, to a private girls school, but I have no regrets, it's a lovely school and the girls are happy there...

 

My only worry when I considered educating them at home (I had no worries about teaching them, I know I could do it just fine) was how they would learn wider social skills, and meet many other kids on a regular, daily basis... We were new to Oxford at the time and I had no friends around, and no family, I felt my girl would miss out on seeing other people than myself on many fronts (oh and her dad works abroad and comes home at weekends).How do you deal with the social aspect of it ? My choice is now made for the school, but I'd be interested to know cause it worried me at the time, and it seems you've managed it successfully.

[xScrunchee]

It seems that the most common question after 'Is it legal?' is, 'What about socialisation?'

 

If I put it to you like is it may make more sense.................

 

Other than at school, when in life are we seperated into groups depending on age?

If you are 33, are all of your friends 33 or there abouts?

Socialisation is the ability to be social. I, myself have friends ranging from 2 years old up to 90 odd years old.

My children socialise every single day. They quite easily manage to be around any people of any age and build good relationships.

 

The type of socialisation in schools is not always the type of socialisation we would like it to be.

Also, how many times have you heard a teacher say..'You are not here to socialise!!'

 

Children are not encouraged to be social in a natural way. They are allowed to be social within their particular age group at selected times of the day.

I wouldn't like that social life for myself and wouldn't be able to be friends with most of the people I know now because they are not my age!!

Most home educated children find that they build friendships with different age people based on things that they have in common rather than building friendships with people that they share an age with.

 

There are also groups such as drama, dance, scouts, brownies, horse riding, gymnastics etc. Going to the park after school time etc.

 

In my opinion-the benefits way outweigh the negative aspects.

 

As for GCSE's, it seems to be becoming a little easier for home educated children to take GCSE's now. Many colleges will accept children that were home educated even if they have no GCSE's.

 

I know quite a few people (my stepson included) that have lot's of GCSE's and are really struggling to get college placements etc.

Being honest I would back my children up 100% if they want to take GCSE's but I would also point out that there are other options which can be taken to get you where you need to get

[CatsCube]

Ziggy another thing to bear in mind when home schooling is that a huge percentage of the population is now and its becoming ever more popular. Their are a lot of web organisations for putting home schooling families in touch with each other, and organising outing and events, you can pay a small subscription on some of them for lots of extra help so your not just left co-oped up on your own with your child every day, but hetting study buddies and group activities. Its nice for the fact you can control the type of people your kids befriend, which you cant in a school setting, so your child is meating peipke with similar interests as they are going to the same clubs etc together.

[Jules.]

I know a lady who homeschools her 6 children.

They are lovely.

[xScrunchee]

Oh and I plan on home educating my children right through until they are 18.

[Egluntyne]

The first family to homeschool their children....the father went to prison for a while because of his refusal to send his children to formal schools....are from Sheffield. The live near me....the children are now in their 30's and possibly early 40's. They are the weirdest bunch of misfits you have ever met.....but that is due to the fathers influence and not due to the fact that they were home schooled I'm sure. They were only allowed to mix with each other and consequently have no social skills what ever.

 

I have an old school friend who lives in Wales and homeschooled her children. They are lovely, polite children, bright, well adjusted and happy.

 

I'm sure the Sheffield bunch are the exception.

[Snowy]

It's like everything Egluntine - there are weirdos who homeschool just the same as there are weirdos who send their children to school!

 

I took my son out of school at his request in the September he was 15. He's spent the last 18 months studying for his GCSEs from home. We found a couple who are assessors for GCSEs who send him the work to do. We post it back and they mark it. There is a college of further education nearby where he will sit the GCSEs when he is ready. Because he was at school until 14 he already has a group of close friends. He plays for a local rugby team and goes on all their trips, he goes out on a bike ride most days or takes his younger brother to the park, he plays drums and is taking his grades (grade 5 in December) and he spends one morning a week at the local nursery doing voluntary work (or work experience).

 

He is self motivated, articulate, well behaved and can hold a rational, adult conversation. I'm very happy with his progress. I'm not sure yet which GCSEs he will actually take although he is studying english lang and lit, maths, physics, chemistry and biology. At the moment we are concentrating on finding out what he enjoys doing and what motivates him. I'm probably a bit too laid back about the exam thing, but he'll take them when he's ready, and only the ones he wants to take.

 

His younger brothers ARE going to school, but I would not hesitate to take them out if I thought it was not in their best interests. I LOVE the teachers, but I hate the amount of assessment that they have to do on them. I complained to the nursery school when a report on my 3 year old came back that he needed to work on his concentration. Why? He was only 3! He is now 5 and has no problems concentrating!

 

All I want to say is that it is not an easy option by any means, but if you are having a problem with a school, it is a viable alternative rather than forcing a child into a situation that he is not happy with (or even in danger from).

[Guest]

Unfortunately with home schooling there are too many people who do it for the wrong reasons and to a bad standard. You guys sound like you are doing really well and your kids are benefitting from it but in education it is frowned upon because all too often it is not a good option for the kids.

 

I had a girl in my form a couple of years ago who was fairly quiet and then started to go sick a lot, her mum had lots of interesting illnesses and the school was concerned that there was a case of Munchousens(sp) by proxy there. The girl did have friends and did enjoy school. Suddenly Mum pulled her out of school to home school hereand that was it. She is seen out occasionally, looking sad walking along with her Mum but she is never seen anywhere else, clubs, brownies etc. The few kids who were her friends gave up after a couple of months as whenever they went round to see her Mum had another reason why they couldn't. I still wonder what will happen to her.

Edited November 9, 2007 by Guest

[chelsea]

I never knew that you didnt need permission!

[Couperwife]

my friend wanted to take his 2 out of school as he thought one of them was being bullied (eldest really can give as good as he gets, but doesnt like the getting - it was a case of 6 of one and half a dozen of the other if you know what I mean)

 

so both children (who are brilliant at manipulating mum) spent all day watching TV or playing on the play station.

 

the youngest couldnt understand why he was being punished and not allowed to see his friends in school

 

it lasted about 2 weeks then my friend sent both back to school (a new school so he didnt lose face) unfortunately a case of parents not thinking about it properly

[xScrunchee]

I never knew that you didnt need permission!

 

Nope-they are your children so you do not need somebody elses permission to make decisions which you feel are for the best.

 

If your children are not at school-you do not need to inform anybody of your decision to continue their education at home.

 

If they are already down for starting a school or are already at school you do need to write to the school informing them of your decision and requesting that your childs name is removed from the register. Simple!!

[xScrunchee]

Unfortunately with home schooling there are too many people who do it for the wrong reasons and to a bad standard. You guys sound like you are doing really well and your kids are benefitting from it but in education it is frowned upon because all too often it is not a good option for the kids.

 

I had a girl in my form a couple of years ago who was fairly quiet and then started to go sick a lot, her mum had lots of interesting illnesses and the school was concerned that there was a case of Munchousens(sp) by proxy there. The girl did have friends and did enjoy school. Suddenly Mum pulled her out of school to home school hereand that was it. She is seen out occasionally, looking sad walking along with her Mum but she is never seen anywhere else, clubs, brownies etc. The few kids who were her friends gave up after a couple of months as whenever they went round to see her Mum had another reason why they couldn't. I still wonder what will happen to her.

 

my friend wanted to take his 2 out of school as he thought one of them was being bullied (eldest really can give as good as he gets, but doesnt like the getting - it was a case of 6 of one and half a dozen of the other if you know what I mean)

 

so both children (who are brilliant at manipulating mum) spent all day watching TV or playing on the play station.

 

the youngest couldnt understand why he was being punished and not allowed to see his friends in school

 

it lasted about 2 weeks then my friend sent both back to school (a new school so he didnt lose face) unfortunately a case of parents not thinking about it properly

 

Yep-sadly people can be very odd. Nothing to do with home education, just in general. Children suffer abuse at the hands of their parents, carers, teachers. It happens all of the time. Children kill themselves because of bullying in school and also many abused children go through the whole school system without anyone ever finding out that they were abused so to be honest I think that parents should do what they feel is right. Children being educated at school are no safer or produce any better results than a child educated at home.

 

Home education is a very personal thing. The whole point of it is to tailor the education to suit the needs of the individual child-therefore right and wrong do not really come into it.

We all have our own ways of educating and providing that the child is gaining from it in some way-it must be right.

Look at how many children leave school unable to read and write. The figures are disgusting!! If a child is educated at home and doesn't achieve marvelous results people assume that it is because they didn't get a 'proper' education.

[Guest]

I think its just the lack of contact with a lot of children who are home educated which worries the system. Yes it is a marvellous idea but it can also be used to hide a lot of things. Yes some children are abused, bullied and "Ooops, word censored!"ody in the school system ever notices but there are an awful lot more who do get noticed and helped.

 

I'm the kinda teacher who the kids like to open up to about their home lives. I don't act as a shoulder to cry on as I'm not really good at that but I do deal with situations with empathy and often humour. Kids are not usually telling me stuff in confidence but in lessons with others around them and then we can draw on everyones experiences of the poo that marriage break ups cause, mine included but mostly their classmates. It helps the kids to feel they are not alone when dealing with this stuff and remember classmates are often not friends so they are not always aware of who eles has been through the same mess.

 

I tell them their parents are unaware of how they feel and that they are often too wrapped up in their own problems to see how its affecting the kids. I tell the kids to talk to their parents, and keep talking to their peers - so many of them have been through it and come out the other side. I have a kid at the moment who has parents who have done it rather well, whilst they split up they have sent him to live with his gran to keep him out of the war zone, its definately working for him.

 

I think its this kind of sharing and stuff that kids do benefit from. They know they can talk about anything in my classroom and they come to me with problems they feel unable to share with their parents. Mind you as I teach mainly year 10 and 11 boys you can imagine some of the problems!

[Snowy]

That is definitely a benefit of the school system - helping children who have difficult situations to understand that they are not alone, or 'universality'. My son enjoyed most of his school life - but he wanted to study at home so that he could actually study without the constant interruptions from rowdier members of the class. At a time when teachers appear to have less and less power to discipline pupils and never a lesson went by without some kind of disruption.

[Guest]

Good for him! Thats the thing that drives me mad, rowdy kids who I just can't get under control and the impact this has on the kids who want to get on with their work.

 

I have a year 11 class this year who I just about have sorted, thanks to an extremely complex seating plan but there is 1 boy, who misses lessons 2 days a week on an alt ed programme who just ruins it for everyone on the lessons that he is in. Yesterday he spent an entire 50 mins sat out in the corridor - after having just opened up game site after game site for the first 10 mins, which of course was after the fight to get him into his allocated seat. He may not have got any education during that lesson but he didn't stop anyone else getting theirs. He will fail anyway, the only way to get any work out of him is to sit next to him and tell him step by step what to do and what to write in his coursework (100% coursework too). Again not fair on the rest of the class.

 

Also at break this morning I saw a very experienced teacher trying to get a kid, who had pushed past everyone into the dining hall, to leave the queue. She was telling him to get out of the queue and he was just yelling at her "you can't make me, you cant touch me, I'll do what I want!".

[xScrunchee]

Yep-I do agree with you Penguinmad.

Some children have no-one apart from their parents to talk to and sometimes their parents are the last people they would want to talk to.

Especially now that families are not so close and have no other relatives nearby. Many families consist of parents and children-that's it.

 

In these cases I believe that it is important for children to have someone to speak to or indeed to have parents who put the needs of their child first-whatever happens to be going on in their lives.

 

You sound like a lovely teacher-but as you are no doubt aware, some teachers are not quite so caring or they may clash with a particular student and then we have a situation of a child feeling that they do not have anyone to turn to again.

So, school or no school-makes very little difference.

 

I have friends who I would NEVER suggest home educate their children for fear that the poor little souls would end up suffering terribly. Not in a physically abusive way-more mentally. But I also feel that in 9 cases out of 10, a parent must feel very dedicated to their child to decide to have them at home all day every day. Experience has taught me that parents who hate school holidays and do nothing but moan about their children do not usually choose to educate them at home-the mere thought of it makes them shudder.

[Guest]

I have nothing against your home education by the way, you sound very caring and comitted. Also you live in an area where the standards in schools are not very high and behaviour can be a particular issue. I wouldn't teach in your area although I have quite a few friends that live around there as I come originally from Hornchurch.

 

My friend took her kids out of school a couple of years ago following a bullying problem which had spread to her in her capacity as dinner lady. She had 1/2 a term till the school holiday and decided to home school them for those weeks and get them into new schools for the next year. She got a lot of hassle from the LEA about it though. But she persevered although teaching 4 kids of different ages 2 of which have learning difficulties nearly killed her!

[susanbb]

My,sister is a headteacher of a primary school in Renfrew. One of her most respected teaching assistants taught her children at home. She has 2 GPs, 1biochemist and a vet as their prospective reputations now., . One in the eye for "home teaching" eh?

[xScrunchee]

I have nothing against your home education by the way, you sound very caring and comitted. Also you live in an area where the standards in schools are not very high and behaviour can be a particular issue. I wouldn't teach in your area although I have quite a few friends that live around there as I come originally from Hornchurch.

 

My friend took her kids out of school a couple of years ago following a bullying problem which had spread to her in her capacity as dinner lady. She had 1/2 a term till the school holiday and decided to home school them for those weeks and get them into new schools for the next year. She got a lot of hassle from the LEA about it though. But she persevered although teaching 4 kids of different ages 2 of which have learning difficulties nearly killed her!

 

 

No-one said any aspect of child care was easy!!

I have no problem with schools other than I don't feel that they suit our needs. My little sister is still at school and up until recently has always loved it.

Sadly she has now lost all interest though. Too much pressure for her I think. She had a bit of time off school recently due to our Dad passing away unexpectedly and is now having huge amounts of pressure placed on her to complete course work etc.

She was only off of school for a few weeks and my Mum was assured that when she was ready to come back-they would all help her as much as possible but this has not really been the case. She now feels that she doesn't want to do 'Stupid GCSEs' (her words) and wishes that she could just leave school and get a job now! Unfortunately this happens all too often in my opinion. School ends up turning the pupils off of wanting to learn. I blame the government!!