Tiggy Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Puff ball seems to have begun a real debate about the pros & cons of single sex education & there seem to be some strong feelings on either side. I hated school & could not wait to leave. I went to a mixed school with my 3 sisters & found it very stressful, but we all had different experiances, one of my sisters got on so well with the boys she forgot to do any work!! She is a member of MENSA now!! I went back to education in my 30s & now have a BSC & MSc so the education I had at school must have given me a good grounding. We chose to send our children to single sex schools because in our area they have not only the best academic results but also offer lots of other opportunities for children to develop other skills. Neither my son or daughter have ever complained about bullying and both seem to have grown into happy confident caring young people and I'm sure that their education has played a part in that. Their experiances of school are so different to mine, I would not wish any child to have to go through what I did. One last point, boys can cause embarrassment to girls but I know it also happens the other way round, and some of the worst bullying I have ever seen/experianced was purpetrated by girls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I went to an all girls grammar school. It was OK for the first two years, although not very forward thinking: because we were all brainy, there were few practical subjects on offer. By the time i was 14 it became very difficult and I was badly bullied. Girls ganging up together can be incredibly cruel. This was back in 1980ish, so there no such thing as an anti-bullying policy, and it never occurred to me to tell anyone. My mother used to bang on abnout the schooldays being the best days of your life. Well, I remember sitting in the toilets one day, crying, and thinking that if I EVER started to think that my schooldays were good, I would remember this day and just how awful they really were. I don't suppose it would have been better at a mixed school, tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 you're right I dont think it matters if you are in a single sexed or mixed school these things happen. now I'm really going to mix things up my 2 went to private schools at first it gave them a great start, smaller class sizes individual attention if they needed it and strict anti bullying policies were inforced. My daughter then went on to a state girls high school & on to uni, but there was not an equivelant boys school for Andy so he is a weekly boarder (they have girls in the 6th form-so he is looking forward to next year) I really wish that the same opportunities were available to every child, have friends who are teachers and they do a great job in some very difficult areas of the country, given a chance most kids will do well in something, not every one is an accademic & education has to be more than just books. My sister is a nanny now & lives in a very poor inner city area of Brum & her daughters 2 little ones love my chickens & being able to run about the garden - I know some of the schools have gardens now & the kids love it, maybe more chickens are in order? see chickens bring joy to everyone dont they Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 My sister is a nanny now & lives in a very poor inner city area of Brum & her daughters 2 little ones love my chickens & being able to run about the garden - I know some of the schools have gardens now & the kids love it, maybe more chickens are in order? see chickens bring joy to everyone dont they My primary school used to have chickens. My mum used to be the person who went and looked after them in the holidays. We got the eggs and also got to pick the mushrooms that grw on the front lawn. I had forgotton about them til now. I loved them I wonder if they planted that grain. I wish I had gone to a single sex school. I wasnt 'distracted' by boys but as I was a tomboy but I was distracted in the fact that I could get caught up in their messing around. I did appallingly at school and I blame it on no support (from the school)and not being pushed. Having it assumed that the academic side of things was the only impostant thing and never being taught in a way that I could understand. I still say that I learnt more from my parents and reading than I ever learnt at school. My poor Mum feels very guilty since I told her that as she had considered homeschooling but wasn't confident enough (it wasn't done then). If I hadmy chance again I would snap up the chance to go to a decent all girls school. Instead I have no qualifications (apart from 10 GCSEs) and a not very extensive cv having given up work when I had my first child at 21. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janty Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 (edited) My husband and I are teachers, yet we made the decision for our son to go to private school. There is no difference in the teaching but in the state system the attitudes of a small minority of the children and their parents ruin the educational experience for the other children. Our son does have aspergers and ADHD (although no behaviour problems - neither us nor school would tolerate it) so he benefits from the very small class sizes and the lack of distraction and because of this he is more able to fulfil his potential. Edited January 15, 2008 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pelicano Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I strongly believe in mixed-sex schools. Learning to talk to boys/girls as human beings rather than than either viewing them as aliens or sex objects is all part of growing up/socialisation in my view. I went to a mixed sex school, whereas my husband went to a single sex school. When we compare our experiences, they were astonishingly different. For me, yes, there was always plenty of 'I fancy this boy' etc going on etc, which all added to the enjoyment of going to school ( ), and also plenty of teasing (though no worse from the boys than the girls), but I can also remember having proper debates etc in class that really benefitted from having both male and female viewpoints - we learned from each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 We were keen to send our girls to a mixed school, but then found that practically we had to settle on a single sex school... the school itself helped with the choice, as it is a lovely place, and the much nearer to the house mixed school alternative unfortunately requires kids to go to school on saturdays, which I could never bring myself to impose on my girls... the school week is long enough as it is, in my view... I haven't regretted the decision so far, but if there had been a good mixed school with no saturday schooling nearby, that would have been our first choice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 hi, is it all day on a saturday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I think a lot of it also depends on the child. Both of my girls go to a mixed sex school, & one of the big advantages of this is that they both really enjoy the company of boys. Devons best friend is Simon,& they get on like a house on fire,with no romantic entanglement (yet!) They are both happy to mix with boys & have lots of male friends,& this I hope will help them form healthy relationships when they are older (they are nearly 13 & 15 now) Devon had the opportunity to go to one of the top girls schools in the country,but I truly believe that mixed sex schooling is best for her. My SIL went to an all girls school & when she left she literally had no clue about men & how they function.............she was really niave about them & it showed in her relationship choices. I am not saying that the single sex school was to blame for that, but it was almost like she had been sheilded from men the entire time,then left to find it all out for herself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hi, yes the saturday schooling is all day... we thought it was just mornings, but some friends have children who go there, and it's normal topics till lunch, then sports events all afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pelicano Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 My SIL went to an all girls school & when she left she literally had no clue about men & how they function.............she was really niave about them & it showed in her relationship choices. I am not saying that the single sex school was to blame for that, but it was almost like she had been sheilded from men the entire time,then left to find it all out for herself A friend of mine from school moved house at the age of 14, and had to move from a mixed sex school to a single sex. She was absolutely shocked at how naive the girls were about boys/men (and I have to say, my friend wasn't exactly worldly!) Those who had boyfriends were going out with much older boys. I know this is a bit of a generalisation, but it was a real culture shock to my friend to go from one 'world' to the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hi, yes the saturday schooling is all day... we thought it was just mornings, but some friends have children who go there, and it's normal topics till lunch, then sports events all afternoon. Oh my goodness!!! thats awful?DO they have wednesday afternoons off like children in France??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Devons best friend is Simon,& they get on like a house on fire,with no romantic entanglement (yet!) They are both happy to mix with boys & have lots of male friends,& this I hope will help them form healthy relationships when they are older (they are nearly 13 & 15 now. Some good points there Sarah. I do agree that it depends on the child, and of course, the circumstances/position of the parents. My best friend all the way through school was male too. It was normal for me, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Still in touch now after meeting all those years ago in Primary school, all through junior and senior school too. Funnily enough, my best friend at university was also male. We shared a house together and each others lives, with no romantic involement at all. It did certainly help me see 'boys' equally the same as myself and I never had/have any problem chatting to or interacting with males in general. Saying that though, going to a same sex school doesn't mean that the opposite sex is very limited in your life. Many of us have brothers or sisters, opposite sex cousins etc that we mix with, and a variety of friends in outside activites. I do agree when people have commented that mixed-school pupils may have a general, more well rounded view of the sexes and their difference by having debates/discussions in a classroom environment that is teacher led. It's good to hear the opinion of mixed sex, social and cultural backgrounds. I feel it makes your own opinions/judgements more 'just'. My children will go to a mixed sex, comprehensive school. I don't think any one school can be pin pointed for the various problems raised here, it happens allover in all schools, and I do believe that good schooling/education is also part parental input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Fairy&cake, I asked one of the schools I visited when searching for my girls school, why some schools do saturday school, and I was told it's an old 'boarding school' habit... many of the private schools are still partly boarding, and the kids don't necessarily go home at the weekends, just for holidays, so teaching on saturday means not having to worry about what else to do with all the kids for two days each weekend... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 My children are both at single sex schools. It's not necessarily what I wanted, but there are only 2 mixed schools in our area, one is the CTC and it's massively oversubscribed and we're in the outer (rather than inner) catchment area . Both children sat their selection tests, and but neither were offered a place. The other local school is, I'm afraid a failing school with extremely poor results and major discipline problems, although in fairness a new headmaster was appointed 2 years ago and apparently it's improving. But a friend works there as a TA and complained endlessly about the minority of badly behaved children disrupted classes for the majority, making both teaching and learning difficult. So at the time my children moved up to secondary school there was no way on this earth that I was going to send either of them there They're both doing extremely well at their schools, not sure if that's because of the single sex status of the schools, I'd argue it's more down to good teaching and darned good schools, rather than the absence of the opposite sex, but what do I know . Of course it helps as well that I have a son and daughter who are very close in age, and it sometimes feels like I have a continual flow of teenagers of both sexes through my house, so there's no shortage of socialising round here, and no undiscovered mysteries about boys/ girls I do think that the issue is dependant on the individual child and the choice of schools on offer , rather than there being hard and fast rules for or against mixed schooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I am not sure that I would be as happy about the single sex education that my older 2 are getting if all out children were of the same sex at least they have some experience of how the other sex behaves. Having said that the teaching at both schools can be and is tailored to the needs of each sex. The friends of my children who went to the local mixed comp. are a lot more aware of boys and peer pressure and seem far less relaxed as a result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...