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The Dogmother

Bank account of happiness

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This really does say it all......

 

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

 

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

 

'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

 

'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'

 

'That doesn' t have anything to do with it,' he replied.

 

'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

 

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

 

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

 

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.

I am still depositing.' Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

 

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

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It reminded me of this

 

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

 

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

 

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

 

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

 

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

 

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

 

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

 

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

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That's a wonderful story Bron.

 

I've just been talking to a Buddhist friend of mine about this, and how some people are materially well off or comfortable, yet can't see the happiness and are always 'on the moan'; he said that they are spiritually unfulfilled and need to focus on the positive and on happiness while they can. To find a 'central core of values and spread happiness by helping others.... how true and wise he is.

 

I fully intend to stockpile a bank account of happiness and memories to last me into my retirement.

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Not quite the same but someone sent me this which is doing the rounds, and I'm bloomin well going to do it tomorrow as it's half term and too often I forget what's important in my life....

 

To My Child

 

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day...

 

 

We should do this for whoever we love be they child or grown up I reckon

 

 

Mrs Bertie

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That's a wonderful story Bron.

 

I've just been talking to a Buddhist friend of mine about this, and how some people are materially well off or comfortable, yet can't see the happiness and are always 'on the moan'; he said that they are spiritually unfulfilled and need to focus on the positive and on happiness while they can. To find a 'central core of values and spread happiness by helping others.... how true and wise he is.

 

I fully intend to stockpile a bank account of happiness and memories to last me into my retirement.

 

absolutely spot on there Clare............ :D:D

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What lovely stories :D

 

I've just turned down a lucrative offer to stay with my company 2 hours away, to take a pay cut to work 20 mins away. Not sure the bank manager will thank me, and we'll have to tighten already tight belts - BUT - I get time with my 2 children. They drive me beserk some days, but I'd not change a thing. I count my blessings every day!

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OK, so what do you already have in your 'bank account'? A few withdrawals, plucked at random:

 

My mum's voice reading 'The Tale of Peter Rabbit' to me

 

summer holidays (why is that it always seemed to be sunny every day back then? :? ) spent in the garden, and mum bringing out jam sandwiches and squash for me and my friends, as we played in my Wendy House (I can remember the smell of hot plastic like it was yesterday!)

 

Family Christmases, both when I was little and now I am grown-up

 

The Cub Camp holidays I used to go and help with when my sister-in-law was Akela

 

Concerts with my choir (there's nothing like singing to make you feel good!)

 

My brother's 60th birthday last weekend, nine of us drove 300 miles to his new home in North Yorkshire so that we could creep up the front path and shout 'Surprise' ... :lol:

 

A large part of the deposits in my bank are due to my mum, who taught me just about everything I know and made me what I am today.

 

I feel very rich.

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What lovely stories :D

 

I've just turned down a lucrative offer to stay with my company 2 hours away, to take a pay cut to work 20 mins away. Not sure the bank manager will thank me, and we'll have to tighten already tight belts - BUT - I get time with my 2 children. They drive me beserk some days, but I'd not change a thing. I count my blessings every day!

 

I did the same 5 years ago Clur; I was working out of town in a very well paid job for a boss I hated... I knew that there was no way that he'd be flexible with my working hours once Rosie started school and I needed to take her in (she'd previously been at a nursery which opened at 8am). I jacked in my job and temped for 2 weeks until this one came up; 5 mins walk from home, very flexible and understanding. I took a £5k pay cut, which was very hard as I'm a single mum with a mortgage etc. But I tightened our belts and it's far better - my quality of life is a thousandfold improved and the old boss can stick it up his wotsit!

 

The value of happines is immeasurable. As a nation, no, as a world, we need to cut back on our reliance on material wealth as it causes a lack of fulfillment, and concentrate on increasing our Gross National Happiness.

 

Let's count our blessings guys....

 

(there ends the sermon for today! :wink: )

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The value of happines is immeasurable. As a nation, no, as a world, we need to cut back on our reliance on material wealth as it causes a lack of fulfillment, and concentrate on increasing our Gross National Happiness.

 

Let's count our blessings guys....

 

(there ends the sermon for today! :wink: )

 

And a very valuable lesson it is too! I haven't shouted once yet despit potty training boy doing two wees on the carpet (deliberately I might add) and eating a yoghurt all over the sofa! It's gonna be a goooooood day!

 

Mrs Bertie

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Aww, bless him Mrs B. I remember that stage really well, and getting frustrated at the wet pants when potty training, then remembered that she was only two and had no idea what she was doing... if she'd been a teenager, it would have been different.

 

Taking a long, hard look at things... not easy this time of the morning and before my first cuppa.... the endless quest for material wealth, and the inevitable resulting greed and envy are a recipe for unhappiness. Once I realised that I was far happier than ever before.

 

The same happens when you look at what you haven't got rather than celebrating what you do have. i.e. a friend of mine is always moaning on about how having children has ruined her life... she can't do the things that she used to do when she was childless. I get exasperated because she never looks at the positive side of things and at the wonderful husband and children she has. I had to explain to her the other night (while she was on one of her hour long phone whinges), that while I was happy to listen and help - the answer was in herself and her attitude to her life, not coming from me. I'm afraid that she's a bit of an emotional vampire and I have had to cut her calls right down.. she needs to deal with it herself.

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Another drain, Claret?

 

I have an aquaintance like that.

 

Lovely home. Supportive partner. Young (late 60's) parents who take her children off her hands at a moments notice. Car. Nice holidays. Decent part time job.......and all she does is moan on about how difficult every thing is. She sees imagined slights everywhere, and has every illness in the book....and feels the need to give hourly bulletins to everyone about them.

 

Always taking time off sick. I'm amazed the job is still hers.

 

I think I am irritated by her because she reminds me so much of my adoptive mother.

 

She saw every situation only in terms of how it affected her, and so does this aquaintance.

 

Another drain...whereas other friends, whose situations are very different and are in material terms much worse off just get on with it....cheerfully and in a life enhancing manner.

 

Rant over. :oops:

 

Phew....I'm exhausted.

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I used to have a friend who was a terrible drain on me emotionally and practically, I had to visit her almost every day even though she was married and had practically and financially no worries unlike me who was struggling on my own with a mortgage. This friend was struggling with chronic manic depression and eventually after trying to cut down her dependence on me we parted on bad terms. Then about 10 years later (2 years ago) she made contact through Friends Reunited. She is transformed! Back to the friend I used to have, she's off all her medication, remarried (after her first husband ran off with her Social Worker ( :shock: ) has a child and a stepson and is back to being a fantastic person. I'm so pleased for her that I would count her getting in contact again as one of the deposits in my bank of happiness! :lol: I often used to think of her and although she's in Wales and we hardly speak she visited us year before last when she was expecting her boy, who she never thought she'd have, and we're hoping to descend on her (I'll have to try not to be negative and green with envy as she has a small holding with sheep pigs goats ducks turkeys and chickens - maybe I'll send her back here and stay there instead! :lol: )

 

I've known her since I was 15, one of my bestest mates!

 

Mrs B

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I have some lovely freinds too Mrs B. One was my BF in school from the ages of 5 to 13, when we went to different senior schools. We don't see each other very often, but she has such a capacity for happines and lunacy that it's infectious.

 

A couple of others are friends, who I worked with over 20 years ago... we still stay in touch and meet up every so often for a meal. I am particularly close to one of them and know that I could count on her for support if I ever needed it.

 

Another friend, who used to live up the road from me, was there when I needed practical help during a messy and horrid divorce, she and her partner provided me with shelter when I needed it, despite the fact that I had a newborn, and helped me change the locks when the time came.

 

I think that truly good friends never make unreasonable demands and are a great source of happiness.. they belong in your bank account.

 

Watching my little girl turn into a self-assured and confident young woman is also a joy, although I don't always see it that way when she's having a teenage type strop. :roll:

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