Solitary chicken - need advice

[Guest]

We're nor fully immersed into the school holidays, and with the weather being nice, I'm afraid I've been chucking the children out in the morning, with the instructions to go enjoy themselves, without bothering anyone. Caitlin plays in the street with her friends - there's a group of about 5 of them of similar ages, and they ride each others bikes, select which parent is going to be bothered next for juice/crisps/sweets/bananas/use of toilet and generally have a great time, with the odd fallout which is quickly resolved. The boys have spent the last two days down at the burn, fishing for minnows and tadpoles with their friends, building dams, getting wet and generally doing the things that my brothers and I used to do when we were young. When I told my mother where the boys were, she was horrified that I would let them out of my sight. They aren't far from the house, they both have ancient but reliable mobile phones and they are with friends so I was fairly confident that I was doing the correct thing - giving them a bit of freedom during the holidays, whilst being as certain as you can be nowadays that they will be safe. And (and I think that this is quite important!) they are in no way harrassing anyone else - no kicking balls off peoples cars, hanging around at the street corner etc, etc.

 

Should I be lining up for my bad mother award now then?

[Egluntyne]

Absolutely not. You are showing them that enjoyment can be found away from the x-box and the Wii.

 

Give your mother a copy of the Dangerous Book for Boys to read.

 

There isn't a paedophile around every corner, and given that they are playing in groups they should be fine.

 

I am nominating you for the Good Mother Award.

[Keanie Bean]

Not at all, my kids play out on the estate, luckily we are away from a main road so they can. I used to hate school holidays as a child as we lived on the South Circular in London which is also a duel carridgeway so I was never able to play out as my kids do.

 

You have taken all the possible precautions so let them be kids in what sounds like the best possible way. As you say they are not bothering anyone else or you and having fun besides.

 

As long as they are sensible children, short of keeping them locked indoors all day every day you just have to use your judgement these days. Nasty people existed 'back in the day' just as they do now.

 

Either that or I'll be lining up there with you for one of those awards.

 

Sarah.x

[chelsea]

I think you are right letting your boys play like they are.

 

I spent hols as a kid - fishing, blackberry picking, picnics with friends, making mud pies and going for endless bike rides, we were never indoors!

 

happy days.

 

I love it when people let their kids play and get mucky/dirty and explore the outdoors - there is so much to see and do.

[Tina C]

You are a great mum!

 

At the moment we let Layla roam off on campsites (with a walkie talkie so we can get her back again) but not in the 'real world' yet - too near a busy road

[Snowy]

Exactly how I remember spending my childhood Shona - sounds perfect!

[cammy73]

If only more mums were like you!!

 

Thats just how we grew up and when I remember the fun we had playing tracking over the fields and seting up camps etc....

 

Good for you!

 

Sharon x

[Mrs Frugal]

Shona, you're doing what I'd love to have done with my boys but felt I couldn't because of the area we're in. As a result, mine are on their computer games consoles all day during the holidays where I was out all day in the fresh air with my friends. Giving them some independence and an opportunity to be children is good for them. Wrapping them up in cotton wool isn't - I'm learning that the hard way.

[Paola]

Sounds a lovely way to spend a school holiday How old are your boys?

[Guest]

They're 10 and 8, which I think is my mothers problem. However, they have returned safely from the burn, minnows galore swimming in various jeely-jars, and demanded ice-cream. I chased them out (again!) into the back garden, and told them to eat the peas straight from the pod if they fancied something sweet, so they and their friends have stripped all the pods off the plants.

[Couperwife]

sounds like the idylic childhood

 

we used to spend hours down the park / at the lakes / in the fields and it never did us any harm.

 

too many children "play" on the computer so dont know how to socialise

 

keep it up - sounds like you are doing a great job

 

cathy

x

[Cooks]

I started letting mine out adventuring on their own at 10, I was too worried about it when they were younger, and I had to be comfortable, but mine (12 and 10 year old boys) do very similar stuff, mostly sport related at moment

Hard though when one was out with his mates but the younger one wanted to go but I didn't feel him old enough at the time. (we had just moved to this new house and he didn't know the area as well as older child)

You can hold onto them too long nowadays and I had trouble with letting go, I know it was a fault I had and still do to some extent.

It seems to me you had things covered, mobiles, friends with them etc.. trust your instincts, they are not far wrong in my experience.

[Olly]

That sounds like my childhood - your boys are so lucky that you live somewhere without busy roads, and that you're courageous enough to do this.

 

I don't have children, but I spent several years helping out at an annual Cub Camp. It was a beautiful wooded site, and restricted to scouting groups - so we used to tell the boys to go off and play, as long as they stayed near enough to hear Akela's whistle. Sometimes we were met with totally blank looks - 'but what do we play, Miss?' Most of them had never played outside their own gardens before, and they were used to playing games organised by adults or being told what to do.

 

It's such a shame that more children don't get this experience - I applaud you, chookiehen.

[bronze]

It sounds wondeful. would a 27 year old woman coming to stay and pretending to be a 10 year old boy be just a little odd?

[Ain't Nobody Here]

When my boys were younger (probably the ages of yours) they used to go into the woods fairly near our house and play for hours. When it was wet there was a bit that ended up like a swamp - they loved it (and I went for a play once too just to see what the fuss was about - it was ).

 

You are giving your boys a much needed lesson in life - minor risk taking and making their own (un-electronic) entertainment.

 

Good Mummy Award on its way

[sparkysmum]

Likeminded Mum here My boys are a bit older than yours but I've hardly seen my 13yr old since the start of the hols. Out all day with his friends on his bike. We're lucky though we've got a skatepark which no 2 son LOVES. Safe and fun, just how the school hols should be. No 1 son now he's so different.....Never mind off to Tiree tomorrow Allison & Co

[Cate in NZ]

Sounds like a great way of spending the summer Shona, getting exercise, loads of fresh air, using their imaginations and getting into (harmless) mischief without Mum breathing down their necks. Well done you, definitely one for a good mother award