4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Couperman]

As my ageing floppy cheapo polythene mini greenhouses are starting to fall apart and are all torn. I decided to replace them with a more permanent solution with which to raise the thousands of seedlings that I don't really need.

 

I saw an ad in Grow Your Own for what appeared to be the perfect solution.

 

***Krypton Factor Challenge***

 

Looks smart I thought, is just the right size, bla bla bla.

 

So I gleefully ordered it. And the other day it arrived.

 

Yesterday at 8.30am I started the estimated 3 hour build job................................

 

and I've just finished.

 

There are a few drawbacks to be aware of if you are thinking of buying one.

 

1) The screws used to assemble it are from a Meccano set and are so small that unless you happen to have magnetic hands they spend most of their time on the floor laughing at you.

 

2) The instructions could only be less helpful if they had been drawn up by a blind chimp travelling at 35 mph on the back of a galloping horse using a very blunt lipstick.

 

3) The plastic panels are extremely light and provide the most entertainment if you try to fit them by yourself on a slightly breezy day.

 

4) The finished article certainly needs to be anchored down very well as I think it would easily attain an impressive altitude on a windy day, this isn't a design flaw and the useless instructions do actually mention it in passing.

 

5) In true Ikea/MFI tradition the finished product is not equal to the sum of its parts and I have some left. In fact as well as the official parts list having more parts in it than seem to be mentioned in the instructions, there were also some additional parts not mentioned in the parts list. I presume those were added by the packing department for comic effect.

 

So despite a few setbacks with the weather (which actually helped in the end as the instructions blew away) I have a greenhouse that looks like it is supposed to and is a pretty good piece of kit for the money.

 

I also now have the most amazing digital dexterity thanks to the meccano and an ASBO for the persistant use of foul language.

 

They really do need to re-write those instructions!!

 

Kev.

[Lewis]

I like the photo on the website. Did you go for green or white trim?

I know what you mean about some instructions.

 

 

I bought something off ebay from China once and the instructions were rubbish. Clearly been translated from Chinese to English and the words in the sentence were all jumbled up so it didn't make sense.

I re-wrote them and sent them back to the seller. They were really pleased!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Love your description - very entertaining . Almost as good as having been in your garden, glass of wine in hand, watching while you attempted it . (Although I'd have got bored after 1/2 an hour .)

 

I hope it doesn't blow away after all that effort .

[Couperwife]

I hope it doesn't blow away after all that effort .

 

 

good grief so do I

 

cathy

x

[Snowy]

Loved the description Kev - in fact that sounds exactly like us putting up our greenhouse! You missed the bit where it says 'this is a two person job', but they omit to say that each person needs at least three hands each, and that their arms need to be at least 4 feet long Pretty good once it's up and anchored down though!

[girlsmum]

I bought a Norfolk greenhouse about 4 years ago and it was truly awful to put together. Nearly caused a divorce . never completed it. Complained to company but they didnt want to know.

 

We renamed the company Nor-folking Good

 

 

Girlsmum

[Redwing]

We got some seed tray holders from them, put one together and slept in separate rooms that night and never bothered with the other one - its still in its box

 

I am thinking some sort of medal should be winging its way to you for services to the country

[Joojoo]

Very funny Kev. Hope you manage to grow something in it after all that effort.

 

I could imagine you being behind the very witty letter send to Richard Branson about the food on the Virgin flight earlier this year

[Lesley]

I needed a laugh this morning! - pity you weren't putting that together round this way yesterday

[Egluntyne]

Very funny Kev.

[Chook n Boo Mum]

I can't control the mouse when I'm chuckling at your descriptions Very funny!

 

Congratulations on completing your task

 

Sha x

[Old Speckled Hen]

Very good.

I look forward to your witty missives and they never disappoint.

Have you ever thought of "auditioning" for Private Eye?