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Due to unprecidented demand, (well 2 postings and a PM! :lol: ), I am very pleased to bring you your introduction to

Chooks in the Jungle


Meet the Camp Hens.


With winter closing in, and central heating costs flying through the roof, it's time to snuggle up and join the Camp hens competing for this years 'Chooks in The Jungle' awards.


The log rolls have been laid, the hemcore scattered and the line-up has finally been announced, in preparation for Mondays launch.


As is usual with 'Chooks in the Jungle', the producers have signed up a varied flock, with a formidable line-up of breeds. First up is Toby, a young Sussex Star, who is already a familiar face on our tv screens. Joining him in the battle for 'Cockerel of The Jungle' is fading 80's tv star, Araucana Jason, a native Australian, no doubt used to the unusual dinners that can be found by scratching about on the jungle floor. Dust bath hogger, Scott, is a vain little Buff Pekin who is certain to keep the camp hens looking good with his flair for feather design, and his eye for comb decorations. No doubt, Matt, a cheeky little Barnevalder will keep the hens on their toes, as he entertains them around the campfire, and snuggles up close on the roosting bars at night, while lightly enhanced David, a strange looking Naked Neck, could be the cause of more than the odd shock, when he runs out of the Eglu in the mornings minus his dark glasses.


For the girls, Jan, a no nonsense New Hampshire Red looks set to take control of the broody hens. Keeping the girls under control could be difficult with the flock including chameleon-like Blue Cochin, Faith, who has the uncanny ability to transform herself into any other breed with a cluck and a buuurrk, and a swish of her tail feathers. Will she be able to mimic formidable Lauren, the Partridge Wyandotte - a city chook with high-up connections. Vying for chief entertainer will be Myleene, a classical Dorking with a passion for music. Not many Hens can boast both pop and classical hit albums to their name, but will the producers allow the Dorking to bring her baby grand as a her luxury item? Completeing the starting line-up, and joining the hens in the nest box, is Phina, an exotic looking Brahma, who is sure to sizzle in the Australian jungle. Who can peck her way to the top, to become 'Queen Chook'.


With the line-up announced, the nest box lined and the pellets scattered, the waiting begins.


Who will be crowned 'Chief Chook 2006'?.


(Authors disclaimer - any similarities to 'I'm a celebrity' are totally intentional, so don't waste your time watching it! :wink::lol: )

Edited by Guest
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love your location Shona :wink::lol::lol:


Well, you know......It's all for you lot of course - Wouldn't watch it otherwise, but 'Chooks in The Jungle' just wouldn't be the same without a touch of inspiration from 'I'm a celebrity!' :wink::lol::lol::lol:

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Thankyou all for your kind words - I promise not to abandon it half way through, like Big chicken, but that was due to unforseen circumstances, and ill-health. I'm fighting fit and ready to go now! :D

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If this years flock of camp chooks thought they were going to be in for an easy ride, the shows producers soon put a stop to such notions when they decided to have half the flock bungee into the camp, while the other half were given some logs and some string and told to float their way down to camp. While Toby, Myleene, Jason and Matt were left wondering just how a chicken can be attched to a bugee cord, the other were left to the more sedate life of boating down the river. It would appear that the more sedate entry to the camp has made some of the chooks thoughts turn to love already. Naked Neck David, appears smitten with Brahma Phina, leaving the audience of 'Chooks in the Jungle' fearful of what they might witness over the next three weeks.


Once in camp, their first task was to select a couple of chooks to undertake the first Food Trial, where a strange battle of wills emerged with both Phina and New Hampshire Red, Jan, battling it out in an early fight in the pecking order. Older, wiser Jan won, and both she and Sussex Star, Toby headed off to face the challenge. Sadly the New Hampshire Red was left wishing she had lost that particular battle, as she was subjected to an ordeal containing vats of stokholm tar and anti-pecking spray, containing the all important golden eggs. she managed 3, but lost one, so for dinner the camp were treated to a dinner of pellets and carrot peelings - enough for 2, not 10.


As the chooks headed to the nesting box for the night, it became apparant that the jungle red mite and lice weren't the only nippy things that would be keeping them on their toes in the dark. David the Naked Neck fell asleep instantly, and kept the rest of the nest box awake with his unnerving and noisy habit of crowing in his sleep.


All the camp hens can hope for is that the next food trial tires him out enough to give them all a peaceful sleep tonight.

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Day 2 saw a surprising hero emerge in the guise of Naked neck, David - having been voted in to do the next food trial, the camp hens were concerned that it was going to be another night of basic pellets, as they fully expected the Naked Neck to cluck those famous words 'I'm a chook, get me outta here', as soon as his task started. But they were in for a shock - desperate for a decent meal of slugs and cabbage leaves, David threw himself into the task, and came out, not only covered in hairy spiders, but with enough golden eggs to provide the camp with 6 meals.


Back at camp, the hens had to call in Medic and animal handler Bob the Bluebelle, not to put a stop to Davids nocturnal crowing but to clear the camp of a vicious infestation of Northern Fowl Mite, something sure to but the girls off their lay.


Bouyant from his success in the food trial, David returned and continued to bond with several of the camp hens. First in his sights was Dorking Myleene, and the two spent a happy 10 minutes reminising over happy days spent in the salon getting their feathers preened, before the Naked Neck got bored and turned to 80's tv and pop legend Jason for company. The two bonded over a prolonged session of mutual preening, before their evening Grub was brought into the camp.


Much to their horror, the meal for 6 turned out not to be fresh cabbage leaves and slugs, but a grub full of slightly dried up sweetcorn and a moulding apple. Nevertheless, the camp hens were hungry so it was polished off quicker than you can shake a feather.


So the camphens went off to the Eglu for the night, tummies rumbling slightly, David crowing loudly, and were left wondering what sort of dinner vain Buff Pekin Scott will be playing for in the next food trial.

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Well, the chicken population of Britain are not as stupid as some would like to make out, and when they voted Buff Pekin, Scott to do Day 3's food trial, they were probably expecting more than they got. Trussed up in a pair of tinfoil clown trousers, Scott was asked to boogie the day away, while enduring a shower of unsavoury delights. First song up was, of course, The Birdie Dance, and while the vain bantam protested he was too hip to hop, the first of the showers fell upon him. Left reeling, and trying to do the Birdie Dance covered in sour cream and raw potato peelings, he faltered and the trial drew to a swift end when he clucked 'I'm a chook, get me outta here' after winning just one golden egg.


Back at camp, he made the most of the attention, and by the time he got round to telling Myleene about his ordeal, he had them believing that he had been single-handedly fighting off packs of foxes, while tied to a tree.


But the producers of 'Chooks in the Jungle' are a generous lot, and despite his miserable failure in the food trial, the camp hens were provide with a pekka ball, and some citricidal for the glugs in celebration of Scotts birthday. Sadly, the pekka ball was left too close to the fire, and in melted over the jungle floor, sending the camphens into a frenzy of scratching and pecking in an attempt to eat it before it was gone.


The battle to top the pecking order became more heated amongst the girls, with Jan and Phina clashing on several occasions. The camp are convinced that the Brahma, Phina, is eating more than her fair share of the basic pellet rations, and when their dinner arrived (strawberry tops and carrot peelings for one), a scuffle broke out when the Brahma tried to sneak an extra strawberry top from the grub.


So the Camphens are starving now, and with Buff Pekin, Scott, and New Hampshire Red, Jan, competeing in the next food trial, it seems unlikely that the camp will get any respite from the rumble, but what other surprises could there be for the camphens on Day 4 of Chooks In The Jungle?

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