4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[LesleyH]

Every time I have a week off work I feel total anxiety at the thought of going back. I am a manager in a telecoms call centre and it is a very pressurised role. I feel totally trapped - my hubby and I earn the same wages and we are maxed out on the bills. We have no savings - any extra money goes towards the morgage as we have reduced it to 14 years - we started it 4 years ago.

We have a great life together - we have our home with a lovely garden, 2 dogs, cat, 4 chickens, a car and a VW camper van. We don't go out, we like to drink wine at home and spend time together. I never wanted children and he has a now 12 year old daughter, so its perfect as I have a part share in an ace kid with little inconvenience to me.

Our only issue is our jobs...hubby is a telecom engineer and his back has been bad on and off - so he is often in pain. We both get stressed - him with the pain and me with the pressure of the job. We used to both work together in the call centre and loved being together all the time.

I have dreams all the time about winning the lottery...not millions - if we could clear our morgage we could do any jobs we wanted...I would love to work in a health food store or something...something calm and relaxing but with interaction with people.

I have considered packing it up and starting our own business - but I have no idea where to begin and have no financial backing.

If only we could clear our morgage.

ho hum...any ideas anyone?

P.S we need to earn £24000 each per year to be where we are now - just paying the bills and living comfortably but frugaly where possible (we rarely buy new clothes etc).

I know it sounds like I am moaning about nothing - and we really are grateful for what we have on so many levels...it's just that life could be so perfect if we could find a way to work together in an envoironment that we like.

 

so - has anyone got a spare hundred grand or need a manager and worker to run their health food store / cafe / tearoom???

[Plum]

Downsize I think its a lot of people's dream to jump out of the rat race. What about moving somewhere and releasing capital. Guess you need to think of your daughter, so you will be restricted with area.

Bet there are a few people on this forum who have done it.

[Angels4]

I would LOVE to drop out of the rat race. My dream is to hop on a plane, fly to the English countryside start up a small farm becoming totally off the grid.

[MadMitch]

We down sized and dropped out two years ago. OH was a Company Director and I was a Project Engineer and we had both worked solidly for 27 years. Our monthly outgoings were £4500 and we seemed to spend all our time working. We had a joint income of over £120k but had no savings as it all went on just living.

We spent a weekend in West Wales and really didn't want to go home so we went back the following weekend had a look at a few houses and made an offer.

We have never looked back, we have a small two bedroomed cottage with an acre of garden on the side of a valley looking out over the Brechfa Forest.

OH has retrained as an electrician and I do odd temping jobs as I don't ever want to work permanently for one company again.

We probably only earn a quarter, if that, of what we used to but we have never been happier.

Just go for it, lifes far too short to be miserable

[LesleyH]

thanks for the advice - but we can't downsize any more - we only have a 2 bedroom end terrace. We got on the property ladder too late. I guess we will have to just stick it out for another 10 years or so. ho hum...I will keep dreaming though. I can't wait to retire - all the things that people do when retired are what we love doing now!!!!

[rosie]

Hmm, tricky one this. Horrible to work in a job you hate and which makes you feel so stressed. I would look seriously into some sort of retraining or further qualifications, even if you have to work even longer and harder for a few years. My brother was in a similar situation work-wise a few years ago. He retrained as a prison officer and hasn't looked back since. He works hard whilst he is at work but at the end of the day, he just walks out as the next officer takes over. He gets pretty good pay too, and a pension He has done some more training whilst in the service and he does work hard at what he does.

Otherwise what about teaching? My cousin was formerly a management consultant and the pressure nearly gave her a breakdown. She already had a science degree (could do some part time qualification if not?) and retrained as a secondary school science teacher. I'm not saying that her new job is stress free, but she enjoys her work now and can cope with it.

Another option would be to start your own business whilst carrying on in your present job. Selling something on ebay? and if it takes off, developing it into something more full-time. Lots of opportunities now as people pull in expense wise during a recession.

Good luck

[Couperwife]

Lesley, I know you probably dont want to, but hvae you considered changing the mortgage for a longer term

 

you said that you reduced it to 14 years (if I understood correctly) but you could easily re-mortgage and change the length of time of it, this will give you a lot more breathing space and also the opportunity to change jobs if you want to.

 

we went into the bank to discuss this the other day and the lovely lady said its actually a lot easier than people realise

 

there is nothing worse than being in a job you dont like, I was, I hated it (I got blamed for a project going wrong - it really was NOT my fault) I changed jobs, and now im soooooo much happier

 

(((hugs)))

 

cathy

x

[LesleyH]

Extending the mortgage is something we could definitely consider. I have been thinking long and hard over the last few weeks. I need a challenging and rewarding job - else I would be bored silly...I will keep looking and thinking...hmmmmm

Thanks for all your advice - it's nice to have different opinions...from the inside looking out it seems so unclear and impossible - but you guys have given some realistic suggestions

[MadMitch]

Thats what we did when we moved. As it was such a huge change for us we decided to give ourselves as much flexibility as possible so we took out an interest only mortgage which freed up alot of cash for us (at the moment our payment is only £34 a month).

We thought that if the lifestyle change didn't suit us there was no point in paying out loads on a property which we may sell again in a couple of years.

As it's turned out we love it but we will still give it a bit longer before we tie ourselves down to big payments.

[chelsea]

This is an interesting thread. Lesley you sound in a very similar situation to us. We both hate our jobs (mine is very stressful) and OH works 60-70 hour weeks working nights, so we hardly see each other and we just seem to "get by". We have a few savings but we are not extravagant and haven't holidayed abroad since our honeymoon in 1996!

 

We also dream of escaping, we've always wanted to move to the Scottish Highlands, buy a little croft cottage and just enjoy a quiet life.

 

MadMitch, thanks you have given some great advice I didn't know you could switch to an interest only....that's got me thinking!

 

Lesley, all I can say is "make it happen" - don't give up on your dream, I think OH and I are too "lazy" and scared probably to make it happen and if we tried hard enough we could get there.

 

Good luck and it will happen one day

[LesleyH]

thank you - lots to think about and lots of thoughts in my head! The idea of moving to a croft in the highlands is pure bliss!!!

[WarrensWorld]

We decided 13 years ago, we sold up and moved to Ireland. Before I worked for social services, I was a time served motor vehicle technician, but I loved metal fabrication and welding. I have my own welding plant and workshop/garage. So I do the odd job for neighbours and friends, that brings in pin money. I've an index linked pension, that I may claim this year. Eileen works for a very nice Doctor, he plays golf every Friday and doesn't work weekends, suits Eileen down to the ground. Our home is a lovely cottage in a rural village, but we're only 6 miles from town. Best thing we ever did, just wished we'd done it earlier......

[LesleyH]

Sounds perfect... well done for taking the plunge!

I am not afraid to take the plunge...just need an opportunity to present itself!

[yvonne]

Just a little word of caution about downsizing - I did it 4 years ago and left the Thames Valley and moved to Somerset. Whilst we now have a lovely big cottage and no real financial pressure, I have found that I really miss the challenge of an interesting job.

Rural life certainly has its plus points such as lack of traffic. lovely views, comunity spirit, but good jobs are much harder to come by (those who have them tend to hold on to them far more than in other areas) and it can be a long drive to get to decent shops, theatres etc.

Village life can revolve around church and gardening etc which may not suit everyone.

If you are considering shop work don't forget it is often very badly paid and you may have to work on Saturdays - like everything, there are 2 sides to the coin.

Good Luck with your decision, I hope you find a solution which gives you a better quality of life !

[Nicola O]

I'd say to go for it if you can.

 

It's been my dream to have some form of smallholding some day, and last night whilst looking on Right Move I found one !!

 

It's a 1.5 acre field with mobile home currently being used as a smallholding, so there are sheds, animal pens and - best of all - 17 HEN HOUSES !! Its up for 75K and my house could sell for about 155K and I only have a small mortgage so in theory it's 'do-able'. I would be quite happy in a mobile home, as long as it's 'plugged in' to all the utilities. And it's only 20 mins drive from work so I wouldn't have to change or find a new job.

 

I'm phoning the estate agent in the morning, but knowing my luck it will probably be gone already - we can but hope.

 

Nicola

[WarrensWorld]

Good Luck, Nicola........ Fingers crossed smiley.

[Nicola O]

Thanks.

 

The amenities will be the breaking point. Don't mind using bottled gas for cooking (it said the mobile home had two log burners) but electricity, running water and drainage is the important thing - at my age (40 in four months) I don't fancy washing at the sink and weeing in a bucket .

 

For all I know the mobile home could be a rust bucket - but then - perhaps, with what I make on my house I could afford a new one (well second hand). My mind is going nineteen to the dozen at the moment with ideas, but I'll probably find out tomorrow that it has already been sold.

 

Nicola

[Plum]

Look forward to hearing more Nicola and have fingers crossed for you.

[AJuff]

I get the feeling more and more jobs are stressful these days. I always feel a bit panicky and feel anxious when it's time to go back to work after a holiday. I have kind of resigned myself to the stress but have many different strategies to cope with the pressure. Could you find strategies to cope with your job?

 

I also think many of us harbour a dream of moving to the country, live on a smallholding, get back to nature, sail around the world and so on. Some take the leap, others don't. Perhaps it's time to really think about what you really want now and take small steps towards it. Good luck, it's not easy.

[WarrensWorld]

I also think many of us harbour a dream of moving to the country, live on a smallholding, get back to nature, sail around the world and so on. Some take the leap, others don't. Perhaps it's time to really think about what you really want now and take small steps towards it. Good luck, it's not easy.

This is true, it isn't easy, but if you don't you may wind up regretting it forever.

Eileen says I should tell you how we decided to down size, but I don't think so at this time. Suffice to say we did.

 

edit: It would take to long.

[Nicola O]

Oh, well - the dream lasted about 36 hours and now it's over .

 

After speaking to the estate agent and the council (there is some form a enforcement order on the land) it turns out the the vendor bought a field (green belt land) and put a mobile home and sheds etc on it. The council placed an enforcement order to make her quit the land and clear it of all structures (putting it back to green belt arable (sp?) fields). She appealled and won a 'personal planning application' which means that whilst SHE lives there, the structures can stay but once she moves everything must go and her application is time sensitive - even if she doesn't move she has to quit the land by Dec 2010.

 

It's a bit naughty of the estate agent, their site simply says that it is 'currently being used as a small holding' and they mention a planning app. and when phoned he mentioned a bit about the situation, but I had to ring the council to find out the full implications.

 

So, the dream is over (for now), no wonder it seemed so cheap. I should remember that if it seems too good to be true then it usually is. Never mind

 

Nicola.

 

ps - perhaps I could buy it, move in and then claim to be a traveller - they get away with living on green belt land all the time .

[Old Speckled Hen]

Oh, well - the dream lasted about 36 hours and now it's over .

 

After speaking to the estate agent and the council (there is some form a enforcement order on the land) it turns out the the vendor bought a field (green belt land) and put a mobile home and sheds etc on it. The council placed an enforcement order to make her quit the land and clear it of all structures (putting it back to green belt arable (sp?) fields). She appealled and won a 'personal planning application' which means that whilst SHE lives there, the structures can stay but once she moves everything must go and her application is time sensitive - even if she doesn't move she has to quit the land by Dec 2010.

 

 

A piece of land near me was sold recently with the same constraints.

The application concerned two polytunnels, a stable and loose boxes (but I note there was no residential structure)

The buyer applied to the council to retain the buildings and his application was granted.

Perhaps you could go back to the council and ask?

[Lesley]

That's a shame Nicola

 

Try www.ruralscene.co.uk - they were the selling agents for the smallholding we have now.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

I'm reading a book called Affluenza by Oliver James at the moment, and while some of it is a bit hokey, there seems to be a lot of truth in it in terms of societal attitudes, happiness and our increasing stress levels. It might be food for thought.

 

In the longer term, the world's your oyster. You can retrain and do anything you want to do.

 

In the shorter term, to cope with the stress, have you considered counselling, yoga, pilates or practising mindfulness? They sound hokey and hippy but they can really help. I was suffering from such severe work-related stress last year that I was off work for a long period of time and counselling, exercise and yoga/hippy techniques helped me get perspective and learn to manage my stress better. They have proven psychological benefits.

 

Putting the mortgage on to a longer-term payback plan sounds sensible too - if you've got the employment time to do it. What's the point of breaking your back and mind to enjoy an extra couple of years mortgage free in the future if now, here and now, you're doing yourselves in? Life should have some enjoyment in it day to day. Planning for the future is sensible, but not at the detriment of the here and now. We don't have any guarantees our tomorrows will ever come, so enjoy today today.

 

Good luck with whatever decision you make. I feel for you on the stress-front, but enduring a miserable job under self-imposed financial pressure really isn't the only way. Go grab life!

[chickenanne]

Well.... how about trying to get a 10 year plan together? The stress may reduce when you know there is an end in sight.

I've no intention of working until I'm 65, can't stand the idea of it, but can't afford to retire just now. Instead I'm trying to save, pay off mortgage, and start to do all the things I want to be able to make an income from/be self sufficeint in in 10 years time. It helps if you can draw up a realistic and honest budget; looking at it you might be able to see where you can make relatively painless savings.

The problem with chucking it all in for a more self-sufficient or laid back life now is that you will instead be under enormous financial pressure, and you are leaping into the unknown to some extent. Also.... the economy is rubbish just now, with many people out of work/taking early retirement and looking to downsize to a quieter life.

 

I'm fairly risk-averse when it comes to money though, so I know for many people making a more immediate, radical change would be a better option.