The Dogmother Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 This made me laugh today.... AND TO KEEP YOU LAUGHING........................................... AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs.about lifting the toilet seat - just by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache. 8.Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. (1) If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. (2) If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES....THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING...BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Brilliant. Someone on another thread was struggling with a cough....I hope they see item 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Ah I'll print this for clients BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Laughter is a great therapy Buffie BTW, I like the new avatar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 (edited) Oh you noticed, something a little panted one helped me put together BBx Edited February 1, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Oh you noticed, something a little panted one helped me put together BBx I noticed too, didn't realise who you was at first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 I noticed too, didn't realise who you was at first! MARTIN!!!!! It should be 'who you WERE', not 'who you was'!!!! Now you've got me sounding like my grandma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Granny Claret, good call Think it was trhe shock. Hope it's not too funky BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think she's a lovely duckie Buff I'd like to see Graham try to fit a santa hat on her though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Plenty of room on her little bald head. You'll all get used to my new look I'm sure. Wiggly duckie has had her day for a while at least I'm destined to not be a hen somehow BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 No, you're quite right Buffie, you're more of a duckie Have you told Mike about duckie yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Erm, that was me on another thread talking about a cough.....if only I'd thought of the laxatives idea.........what a shame the cough has now cleared up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I love number 5, i am always hitting snooze! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 Plenty of room on her little bald head. You'll all get used to my new look I'm sure. Wiggly duckie has had her day for a while at least I'm destined to not be a hen somehow BBx Phil's just said that your avatar is a 'saucy little clucker' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner.girl Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I love number 5, i am always hitting snooze! Me to Christian I am hopeless getting up in the mornings - have to hit snooze at least 3 times before actually opening my eyes! I need lots of beauty sleep... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I leave my alarm clock on the landing so I HAVE to get out of bed to turn it off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
