Mrs

[Rhapsody]

[LuckyChickenLover-]

Just found this from wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back

[Geoid]

Why people call VED road tax...

[majorbloodnock]

 

If fatty food is bad for you,why does it taste so darn good?

That is because lipids make food more palatable

Agreed, but if God hadn't had such a wicked sense of humour, He could have loaded all the calories into something like cabbage.

[majorbloodnock]

Why don't they fit BMWs with indicators?

Kirstine

Bother. I must have a dud, then, 'cos all mine keep blinking at people.

[jlo]

Why don't they fit BMWs with indicators?

Kirstine

Bother. I must have a dud, then, 'cos all mine keep blinking at people.

 

You have a very rare machine there!!

[ali-s]

Why does the wind start to blow just as I step outside with a brimming ash pan, or lining the cube poo trays with newspaper.

[Valkyrie]

Oh yes I agree there - it also happens when you clean the cube trays when the girls have been moulting and the feathers all fly up and over you - ewwwwwwww!

[majorbloodnock]

...Why do we use the term 'Civil Servant' when these people are invariably neither? ....

Or, even more specifically, the same question in relation to "Right Honourable Gentlemen"; an oxymoron if ever there was one.

[Happy chickens!]

Why do people shout at non-English speakers to 'help' them understand (and often use a strange accent too!!)?

 

Why does my shopping only arrive towards the end of the time slot when I'm in a rush to get off somewhere else?

 

Why does it rain more at weekends?

 

Why do children say they're ready for school when they still haven't got their shoes on and have forgotten at least 6 things, and are sitting watching tv....?

[jlo]

Why does my shopping only arrive towards the end of the time slot when I'm in a rush to get off somewhere else?

 

 

 

...and I thought it was just me that that happened to!

 

Why are toaster slots not big enough for standard sliced bread?

[LuckyChickenLover-]

Why are hospitals, dentists etc always running late, and why is it that the one day you turn up late, they're running on time

[Lesley]

Why don't they fit BMWs with indicators?

Kirstine

Bother. I must have a dud, then, 'cos all mine keep blinking at people.

 

You have a very rare machine there!!

 

It's purely an intermittent fault - I have seen it happen occasionally

[majorbloodnock]

Why don't they fit BMWs with indicators?

Kirstine

Bother. I must have a dud, then, 'cos all mine keep blinking at people.

 

You have a very rare machine there!!

 

It's purely an intermittent fault....

Of course it is.

 

"Hey, Major; is your indicator working?"

"yes, no, yes, no, yes, no"

 

[Lesley]

Still a very rare beast then!

[bluekarin]

I've remembered! Why are gym clothes (usually) in small sizes, and not in the sizes of the people who actual need them?

 

There, worth the wait wasn't it!

[Rhapsody]

 

Why does changing room lighting turn you into a fat hairy troll? You would think they'd be super-flattering to sell more clothes?

Why in England do you order drinks at the bar in a pub, but get table service for your tea in a cafe?

Why do pheasant always forget that a) they can fly b) they can change direction whe they see a car coming?

[majorbloodnock]

Why does changing room lighting turn you into a fat hairy troll?

Because I'm a fat, hairy troll. Lighting can do nothing to alter this, except, admittedly, during a nocturnal power cut, at which point I turn into a fat, hairy bogeyman instead.

[..lay a little egg for me]

 

Why does changing room lighting turn you into a fat hairy troll? You would think they'd be super-flattering to sell more clothes?

 

I've always assumed they were super-flattering and that the fat hairy troll I saw when I looked in the mirror was the improved image!! I'd be delighted to find out I was better looking than I thought but sadly the photographic evidence from the summer holidays suggests the mirror does not lie...