Old Speckled Hen Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 A friend sent me this today made me Proposed cuts to the NHS The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals. Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" as the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!" Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it. The Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...." Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were ****** off at the whole idea. Anaesthesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the MPs in London . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Just sent it to my Auntie who works for the NHS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlo Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Right, you've asked for it. Little Jimmy Croft loved tractors. He was tractor mad. One look in his bedroom would show he had tractor posters on wallpaper with a tractor motif, tractor stickers on his window, tractor designs on his duvet and pillowcase and various tractor magazines strewn about the desk and floor. Perhaps this all stemmed from the fact his father worked in the tractor factory just up the road, coming home at night after a long day's work and chatting happily about various aspects of his work. Whatever the reason, when Jimmy came of age, he followed his father's footsteps and applied for and got a job at the same company. Then came the downturn in the market. Sales dropped off and redundancies came. Despite being a hard worker, Jimmy was one of the last in, so one of the first out. He was devastated. Disillusioned, he resolved never to have anything more to do with tractors. He tore up his posters, ripped down the wallpaper, burned his magazines and completely cleared his room of all things tractor-related. He then stomped off to the pub to drown his sorrows. As he wandered into the bar, he was hit by an incredible wall of cigarette smoke. He'd never seen it so bad. Having ordered a pint, he looked around and could just make out a young lady on her own at the other end of the bar. Testosterone taking over from self-pity, he wandered over to her, but as he got closer he could see her eyes were streaming. "What's the matter?", he asked. "How come you're so sad?" "I'm not really sad." she replied. "It's just the smoke is really killing my eyes." "Don't worry," said Jimmy. "I'll deal with it." And with that, he exhaled right out, then took a huge, deep breath. He sucked in all the smoke, walked out of the door and then blew the lot out into the evening air outside. When he went back inside, the bar was crystal clear and the girl's eyes had stopped watering. Amazed, she thanked him profusely, then asked, "How on earth did you manage to do that?" "It was easy.", he said. …. … …… "I'm an ex-tractor fan." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckmum6 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Oh very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JillM Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Brilliant - both of them . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gongladosh Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 yep, indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
