Redwing Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I think you are reading too much in to it. Its a very small thing to get irritated over. He knew his mum before he knew you afterall so she was reminding him about stuff long before you came along She is a mum afterall, I would imagine you remind your daughters of things that they havent yet forgotten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 Well, no actually. She has never reminded him of anything before,until this past year - it has always been left up to me, which as his wife,it should be. And it isn't just one reminder, it is a constant barrage of phone calls that my Husband is also getting frustrated with. He had 6 in one day. So yes,I do feel upset that her faith in me to do my best for my Husband seems to have vanished. I am sorry that you think I am getting irritated over a small matter, but it obviously matters to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Well, no actually.She has never reminded him of anything before,until this past year - it has always been left up to me, which as his wife,it should be. And it isn't just one reminder, it is a constant barrage of phone calls that my Husband is also getting frustrated with. He had 6 in one day. So yes,I do feel upset that her faith in me to do my best for my Husband seems to have vanished. I am sorry that you think I am getting irritated over a small matter, but it obviously matters to me I can completely see why you are irritated but this sounds like there is something else entirely bothering her. Maybe she needs the reassurance she is needed ? Is there anything worrying her at the moment ? Maybe she is worrying about her health and not being around indefinitely so wants to talk to her son frequently (and knowing your OH I can't imagine she gets long conversations each time she rings him when he's working ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Mumsnet is horrible, I can't remember what problem I'd ventured on there for advice but I ran away quickly I can't imagine all the vitriol on there enhances regular posters lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I know how you feel about the succession of calls - it might be an age related thing. Attention seeking - anything like that. She might be getting forgetful as my dad used to tell me the same thing many times over. Some people are lucky to have fab in-laws. My father in law is terrific. But things have been done in the past and it is more like hatred towards daughter-in-law. My MIL has always undermined and patronised me (she's quite clever because in the past she drew me away from everyone else so she could get her digs in although not so good at that now because my son and daughter have witnessed the bad mouthing) and my husband is in denial or thinks I'm telling lies about his mother. I have never done anything to upset her but she goes out of her way to be rude and unpleasant to me and at one stage I felt such a horrible inferior being - moving further away helped a great deal. She also has made snide remarks about my daughter - which my daughter heard and was really upset. But with all the horribleness aimed at me I decided no way was I ever going to be the evil MIL - and always got on well with son's girlfriends (the first one was the loveliest and the silly boy blew it!). But it isn't just me - hubby's cousins agree she is a very intimidating woman and they used to be scared of her - and will quite happily avoid her even now!!! LOL! Although some of those comments made do sound very petty. I would love my children to be spoilt by their grandmothers - it's their speciality anyway! I would like to have a nicer mother in law too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs_B Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I get on ok with my MIL - I don't see much of her & that is fine...we get along well when I do see her, but we are not 'close' as such.She has always been quite laid back, but lately she keeps on phoning my Husband up all the time to remind him about stuff that he has forgotten, like his sister's birthday. Now fair enough, he had forgotten his sisters birthday,but he never remembers any birthday! That has all always been my job if you like, & no one has EVER gone without a gift or a card on my watch! So by phoning him up to remind him to buy her a gift & to send her a text (he is 46, for Gods sake!) I feel that she has no faith in me & my ability to organise MY family Maybe its the hot weather, but I feel really grumpy over this. She phoned him 3 times yesterday to make sure he had got the message, while all the time there is a nicely wrapped gift here on my desk that I have had the forethought to choose. Relatives,eh? THIS is exactly how I feel about my MIL. I've lived with my OH for nearly 6 years now, but she still does our Christmas cards for his side of the family every year (and I always end up with a packet of unused ones). It's infuriating and embarrassing - but like you, my MIL is really nice and not horrible so it's hard to put your foot down. The cards are also ones you know we wouldn't buy, so it's even more obvious we didn't get them x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Could it be the beginning of depression or dementia - you dont mention health probs. Often starts with little things like this or just feeling needed. Hope you get it sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C&T Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I think many "issues" between MIL's/DIL's are not as a result of a one off event, but more like a whole bunch of stuff over a longer period of time that just builds up and up and up. I have no major issues with my MIL - but the continuous digs, and reminders to do the silliest things (apparently I must make sure EDD has a wash - she is 2, she has a daily bath!), or the expectation I am sitting at home all day every day for her to visit her grandchildren - well it all builds up, and I need a break from her periodically! She is also from a different continent - so has different ideas about bringing up children... So yes, the single issue some people moan about may not seem like a big deal to many - but it may just be the latest in a long line of things and is the straw that breaks the camels back. I am also sure there are a few posts on mumsnet or similar that are people just being very unreasonable. But I would place a bet that many posts are people sounding off in anonymity - whereas in real life things maybe are a little different... It's a complicated relationship! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...