Cube mk2 and WIR

[Guest]

I think that rather sums it up Rona. Presents are things you want to give, not things you have to give.

 

It is interesting reading everyone's views on here and I would guess most people are like me and have examples of all sorts of giving each year. I certainly give 'that'll do' presents to family members who don't really keep in touch, so i don't know what they would like/need. There are people who I have specifically asked what they would like (DD1 who is struggling financially as a student) so that my present will definitely be helpful and pleasing (because I care, not because I can't be bothered to think). And there are people who I can't wait to give a present to because I know I've found something they are really going to love. Those are the best.

 

And my father has asked us not to give him presents because he doesn't want things cluttering up his house.

[Olly]

This is such a great thread - apologies, it's got away from the inappropriate presents a bit! I just wondered - does everyone else do stockings?

 

The stocking was the best bit when I was little - just lots of cheap toys, stationery, sometimes home-made things, and always at the bottom a shiny penny (it would be a 2p now!) and a satsuma. I loved waking up in the morning and feeling it rustling at the end of the bed (even when I was old enough to know it wasn't Father Christmas who brought it!)

 

My mum went on doing them for all of us until we left home/got married. My brothers-in-law are both a bit rubbish and don't get the idea, so now I do one for my sisters. I love shopping for these - sweets, soap, shampoo, a magazine, some random ear-rings, a joke present from somewhere like Hawkins Bazaar ... it probably costs more than their 'real' present but it's such fun! I'd rather have a stocking and no other presents, if I had to choose!

[Egluntyne]

Yep...I do stockings...with just little items in them....Sweets....toiletries etc.

 

The big presents go under the tree.

[lizinsa]

I'd rather have a stocking and no other presents, if I had to choose!

 

I couldn't agree more! I love my stocking and have had the same one since I was a baby. I love mine so much that I now do one for my Mum, although I don't think she gets that magical tingling feeling you get when you wake up and can feel a stocking filled with presents at the end of the bed!

 

We're having a 'sensible' Christmas this year (ie no over the top presents) so I've asked for a stocking rather than a main gift ... I'm 24

[Cinnamon]

Stockings are what Christmas is all about.

 

I adore collecting little bits & bobs throughout the year for my girls.

Just little things I know they will love - pretty knickers,jewellery,books,make-up etc.

They will even get a couple of things from out holiday in Kos which I found when we were over there.

I don't wrap them,just let them dive in & see what they can find,but a lot of their friends have all these tiny gift wrapped up for them.......

 

If I do this over the year it doesn't seem too expensive,but I would hate to add up what a stocking cost in total

[Christian]

I'd rather have a stocking and no other presents, if I had to choose!

 

Couldn't agree more! I love doing stockings for people. When I have a christmas party, all the guests leave with a little stocking containing a satsuma, walnuts, chocolate coins, mini jams, chocolate lolly, sweets etc. Love doing it!!

 

[Egluntyne]

I always got a kaleidoscope in my Christmas Stocking. I loved them. Still do.

 

There is a lovely old fashioned toy shop at the Peak Village retail whatsit where you can get all sorts of little gifts for stockings. The range of hair bobbles was fantastic.

[BeckyBoo]

I do stockings for my three, his year will be FAB cos it'll be the first year Harrison has really "got" it - he's 2. I also cut out a boot shape form cardboard and sprinkle glitter footprints by their beds - they think Father Christmas was standing by their bed - instant magic! And we put reindeer food out - porridge oats and glitter! Trouble is your sweeping the path at midnight to make it look like they've eaten it!

 

Mrs Bertie

[Ain't Nobody Here]

We're quite lucky in that both grandparents give the boys money. I used to use it to buy something on their behalf I knew the boys would like, now they get the money and put some in their spending account and some in their savings account. MIL always buys them something small and usually useful too, my mother has never bought them an actual present in their lives .

 

I always do stockings - the presents are getting fewer as they get bigger so the stockings are getting more important!

[Cinnamon]

I make hampers for a few of my favourite family members,& make them a bit like stockings, with little personal things in them too.

I always put a bag of M&S Organic choccy coins in ,some Old Jamaica chocolate for my Dad & pretty pants for the girls.

Then I put home mades in too - Sloe Gin, Lemon Curd,Pickles & spiced nuts.

I really enjoy doing them & think (hope!) that they are well recieved.

 

 

Theres probably a thread on another forum complaining about the shoddy gifts they get from me

[Christian]

Theres probably a thread on another forum complaining about the shoddy gifts they get from me

 

 

That made me laugh out loud this morning!!

 

Spiced nuts? Do you have a recipe? I always do a jar of nuts for my Mum and Dad's hamper. Spiced nuts sounds

[Egluntyne]

Theres probably a thread on another forum complaining about the shoddy gifts they get from me [/color]

 

Never in a million years!!

[CatsCube]

Well update.

 

OH made the call to his dad last nigth while I was at work, and it went very badly. He said a lot of thought had gone into his gift and it was already bought, and he would have to see if he could get his money back, OH explained how people had asked what the boys wanted, and he snapped back how he didnt do lists, he could buy thre boys what he wanted, how ungratefull etc etc and how he would get him a chocolate orange or something instead, and how he should be gratefull that we had told him now then put the phone down on him

 

So I guess we wont be seeing anything of him for a while and the boys will probably get nothing from him now.

OH feels awfull as he hates falling out with his dad, as he will now continue to make rude nasty comments and try to 'prove a point'. And he feels like the boys are going to miss out now. I told him not to worry as we will have a lovely xmas, and if his dad wanted to play silly "Ooops, word censored!"s than to let him get on with it, as he will be the only one who suffers, as he will miss out on spending time with his grandsons, Noah and Dylan are to young to care, they would be happy with getting a cardboard box for Xmas.

[The Dogmother]

It's such a shame that he took it that way Cat; he's upset your OH and got his own knickers into a twist too I am sure that he will think about what was said and eventually see that what he did was a little thoughtless, and get back to you soon.

 

Egluntine, we have that too - stockings on the end of the bed or door handles and other presents under the tree. I remember opening my stocking at about 4am (when I was little) then putting the pressies under my pillow and going back to sleep!

 

Ginette - my folks don't want presents either - as they say - they already have enough at their time in life and there's nothing more that they want. We do give them a photo of us, which Phil does each year and some homemade comestibles.

[Cinnamon]

Theres probably a thread on another forum complaining about the shoddy gifts they get from me

 

 

That made me laugh out loud this morning!!

 

Spiced nuts? Do you have a recipe? I always do a jar of nuts for my Mum and Dad's hamper. Spiced nuts sounds

 

Sure thing - I will post it in all things nice later

[One Man Banned]

I buy things for my younger cousins as I don't even know where my nephew lives so I can't spoil him at Christmas.

 

One thing I refuse to do is buy them sweets and junk so I try to buy them fun things like books and games that they actually can play (not sit in front of a TV) and crafty things for little Katie (she's 12 now but a bit bigger )

 

Done the same thing this year but the two mum's Tina and Mandy told me they thought it was lovely and Tina's baby Max loved his toy from ELC last year to help with his numbers and letters.

 

As in most years, my mum is the worst to buy for in some ways. She never wants us to get her anything but I want to spoil her rotten as she's my mum!!

I was planning on getting her new wardrobes this year but my brother won't tell me the size of her room so I can get them ordered and give her a lovely suprise but I was thinking last night that I'd make her a massive hamper with lots of nice treats in.

 

She lives on her own, has only her benefit to live by and doesn't have the money to spare for anything other than the basics. And then she has been ringing me for weeks to know what we want for Christmas, bless.

 

Just got to work out when to go shopping for all the rest of the presents now

 

A

xx

[BeckyBoo]

I'm so sorry to hear about the phone call, family politics are HELL. Sometimes I despair, trying to juggle one relative against another to keep te peace and make everyone happy and part of me just says "they're adults let em get on with it" but who needs it at Christmas? Honestly, sounds like someone needs to sit him down and tell him a few home truths, as far as I'm concerned Christmas is about giving not receiving and it sounds like he's more interested in what he will get out of it, feeling like he's bought the biggest / most expensive etc rather than what your boys would really like. He probably means well - if he's prepared to buy such a big thing he obviously cares for them and wants to spoil them, it's just he doesn't sound like he's got much of a clue. When you're feeling more disposed to being really kind and making him feel like he's the centre of everything maybe you could steel yourself to phone him. You'll probably have to bite your tongue, but I reckon that's what mums / wives have to do (I know I know I'll get shot down for that one! ) But we are the peacekeepers. Women are normally the ones that end up negotiating, calming waters, smoothing things over within the family home (I'll get shot for that one too!) He will want to be praised for his presents and will want the boys to love what he's bought them - maybe you just need to massage his ego and let him buy it then find a place to file it. You shouldn't have to but I hate bad feelings and it would be a shame to have something like this hanging over Christmas. (Please don't think I'm a soft touch all the time, I once didn't speak to my own mother over a point of principle.)

 

Good luck, don't forget it's down to him, if he'd be more reasonable about YOUR children you wouldn't have to go through this, doesn't help much tho does it

 

Mrs Bertie

[Egluntyne]

Oh dear....sorry it went badly.

 

It seems the present thingy is more about him than about the boys.

 

Maybe he'll reflect and reconsider things.

 

If not....it's his loss.

 

Don't let it spoil your Christmas.

[Olly]

Trouble is, if he is someone (as it appears) who associates spending a lot of money with demonstrating love/affection, being loved in return etc - then he is going to react like this. He sounds very insecure.

 

I am not trying to take his side here, but he clearly thought (without any reference to you, your needs, Noah's needs etc) that a big expensive present was the way to ensure respect and affection. It's going to be quite a big step for him to come back from that position, to accepting that actually he was being tactless and thoughtless!

 

I'm inclined to agree with Mrs Bertie - not 'giving in', but actually he is probably genuinely hurt, although it's his own fault, and feeling just as upset as you and your OH. When you feel able to, it's worth trying to maintain contact, and perhaps trying to reassure him that by rejecting the present, you are not rejecting him.

 

Oo-er, I seem to have come over all psychobabble! Sorry you are having such a horrible problem, it's all you need at this time of year.