Krysia Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Best medical advice I've heard yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Fantastic - made me chuckle . Best advice I've ever heard . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 he he he I like these, might have to print this off and put in on the staffroom wall cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 That's the sort of advice you just have to follow Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Very good. I clicked on this expecting it to be a serious piece of advice!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 he he he I like these, might have to print this off and put in on the staffroom wall cathy x Do you think I'd get away with printing it off and sticking it on the notice board at the Gym?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I clicked on this expecting it to be a serious piece of advice!! Are you suggesting it isn't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 at last............some proper medical advice on healthy living :lol: Lesley...........you absolutely should Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura & CTB Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 That'll do for me - I'm convinced Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Do you think I'd get away with printing it off and sticking it on the notice board at the Gym?? Go on! I dare you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Staff in-service on Monday - reckon this needs to go on the notice-board . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 It reminds me of a great book I got on chocolate from a charity shop. And there is imperical evidence that also raises doubts about chocolate's fatteningness: Few chocolate lovers can simply lie back and wait for chocolate to come to them. For most, getting and keeping chocolate often requires strenuous physical work. Chocolate is of course a vegetable....... http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm246.htm and if I eat someone else's food it doesn't have calories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krysia Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 a bit like broken bisucits....if you leave them for a few minuites the calories leak out. it the same with a slice of cake! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 At last some good advice in this mad world of food fads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I used to live in Winsford many centuries ago. I went to Gladstone street Primary school (where my mum taught) and then the Verdin Grammar School (where my Dad taught). I bet it's a bit different now Krysia than it was in the '50s and '60's when I was there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krysia Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Its possibly not that different, I have only lived here for about 8 years though. When did you last visit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Its possibly not that different, I have only lived here for about 8 years though. When did you last visit? oooh, now you are asking. maybe about 20 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
