Hen Watch Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Some people are unbelievable. This post actually made me smile and recall all of my 3 having "I wish the ground would swallow me up" paddies in shops and thinking to myself thank goodnesss that's all behind me. Just waiting for teenage strops now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I have been heard saying repeatedly under my breath "I am the adult, you are the child" over and over again while trying to ignore YS tantrums. I believe strongly that if you give in on an important issue you set up a pattern for future behaviour, along the lines of "last time I wanted x I screamed and screamed and then I got it so I'll just do it again." You are not doing yourself or your child any favours if you back down. My main advice is pick your battles. You did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizinsa Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 You just have to ignore the man and know you were doing the right thing! Tantrum stories are also good to store in the embarrassing story memory bank - my Mum LOVES to bring out the tail of me making myself sick in the co-op because she wouldn't buy me some My Little Pony hair bobbles , I may have also thrown a wobbly because my Dad opened a Penguin chocolate bar at the 'wrong' end (the feet rather than the head) I *think* I'm a fairly well-rounded adult and it's a natural part of growing up and establishing boundaries! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Devon had terrible tantrums when she was 2 ....in fact they started on her 2nd birthday. She would bash her head on the floor in anger, so was often lumpy & bruised too As her sister was born a month after Devons 2nd birthday,my life was hell for a good year or so Ignoring them works. So does talking to them very,very quietly,so they have to be quiet to listed to you I remember Devon having corker of one at Centerparcs because she wanted to swim in the fishing lake in November. We had to restrain her from plunging in.We went again a few years later to see someone elses child do exactly the same thing & told the parents that we had been there & done that too! The Supermarket man is an idiot who either does not have or does not deserve children of his own,the muppet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 The Supermarket man is an idiot who either does not have or does not deserve children of his own,the muppet. Spot on!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Pudding Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Hear, hear! Some people expect children to behave like mini-adults and can be so rude when they behave like the children they are. YS once had a scream-till-you-go-purple fit in a shopping trolley in Sainsbury's, because I wouldn't give him a lollipop RIGHT NOW. Ignored it for ten minutes ( he has stamina!) and was furious to have to fend off a lady advancing with lollipop in hand saying 'he'll calm down if you give him a lolly, dear....'! I'm sure she was well-meaning but she was lucky to get out of there in one piece. I'm not an aggressive person but I can be very assertive when I need to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty e Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Bless her though, they do mean well. My baby brother was severely lactose intolerant as a baby and would get very upset when he couldn't have chocolate. The number of times I had to swoop down and remove a penguin or a choccy biccy from his grubby little paw and gently explain to the nice person that Jonathan would projectile vomit on them if he was allowed to eat it. I always walked a short distance away and waited for him to snap out of it when he tantrummed, but he was generally a silent but deadly one - collapse on the floor and go stiff and refuse to move. It's almost impossible to manhandle them when they're doing that and they know it. Now other ickle brother had/has horrific ADD and a few other behavioural issues chucked in to boot, and when he had a paddy I had to get people to help me sit on him in case he hurt himself. Thank goodness he's grown out of it a little bit now. My OH refused to believe that ADD/ADHD was a real thing, and that ritalin was any use. Then we had the boys come and stay with use for a bit, and one day we took them to the science museum and then to the theatre. We forgot the Ritalin that morning and hadn't brought it out with us. About mid-afternoon little bro starts winding up and by tea time OH had gone home to fetch the ritalin as I tried to coax bro down from the walls of the Natural history museum. He was never so dismissive again, but it's something you have to deal with constantly - 'oh, he's just a naughty child' or 'that's a result of bad parenting'. Makes me want to lock them in a room with twenty rabid squirrels and a barrel of skunks so they know what it's like to live with a child with ADD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I have been heard saying repeatedly under my breath "I am the adult, you are the child" over and over again while trying to ignore YS tantrums. I believe strongly that if you give in on an important issue you set up a pattern for future behaviour, along the lines of "last time I wanted x I screamed and screamed and then I got it so I'll just do it again." You are not doing yourself or your child any favours if you back down. My main advice is pick your battles. You did the right thing. I agree. If I give in to my 4 year old when I should have stood firm then what chance do I have when he is 15? Pick your battles wisely. There was no need for the man to behave as he did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Lucy, surely not the son that you brought to see me? He was a little angel Mind you, they do that, don't they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I normally ignore though we do tend to try and go shopping when we don't have all three. I have been known though to play the 'I can shout even louder than you' game and it soon shuts them up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I normally ignore though we do tend to try and go shopping when we don't have all three. I have been known though to play the 'I can shout even louder than you' game and it soon shuts them up. Never tried that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 It can be embarrassing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 It can be embarrassing I have no shame, I am sure I could manage it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 hey, I play this with the little angels at school however, I can keep it up for an hour (then they go onto a new class ) cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Claret said: Lucy, surely not the son that you brought to see me? He was a little angel Actually, yes! I didn't take him near a supermarket/department store for about 18 months, he could be so dreadful. Now the other one is going through the same phase. *Mutters under breath "It's a stage, it will pass, It's a stage, it will pass, It's a stage, it will pass, It's a stage, it will pass..."* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I normally ignore though we do tend to try and go shopping when we don't have all three. I have been known though to play the 'I can shout even louder than you' game and it soon shuts them up. I did that once - Rosie was so gobsmacked that she stopped in mid-breath and stared at me. I said 'you want noise?'. Lucy, they all seem to do that phase - Rosie went through it and we had a couple of months where I decided that I really didn't like her very much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Lucy, they all seem to do that phase - Rosie went through it and we had a couple of months where I decided that I really didn't like her very much It's very true, they do all go through it at some point (that's why it's called the terrible two's after all!). My number 3 is going through it at the moment and I can laugh because once he's grown out of it I'll have lost my last baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 I tried my best to avoid going shopping with either of my children at the 2 or 3 yo stage when they were tired, poorly etc, as feeling like that only makes things worse for them. I read somewhere that tantrums are frustration as littlies don't yet have the communication skills they need, & tantrums are the way they get to release their frustration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 That's so true Jules - Rosie went through a really mardy phase at about 8 months - just before she learned to crawl - it was purely frustration at not being able to (physically) do what she wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Maybe we should learn from our kids... I'd happily throw a tantrum at not having the energy to physically do all the work that is staring at me right now!!! It might not get the work done, but it'd sure help relieve some stress and tension... or is that what the chardonnay is for?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Maybe we should learn from our kids... I'd happily throw a tantrum at not having the energy to physically do all the work that is staring at me right now!!! It might not get the work done, but it'd sure help relieve some stress and tension... or is that what the chardonnay is for?? Spoken like a true Omleteer Ziggy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
