Jump to content
Hellcat

Men strike back!

Recommended Posts

Got this in my inbox from a female friend and thought some of the lads on here might appreciate them. God knows you need all the help you can get!!

 

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will

probably never be able to support you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at

The front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Got this in my inbox from a female friend and thought some of the lads on here might appreciate them. God knows you need all the help you can get!!

 

 

 

Well heres one for the girls, received from newly married niece :):)

 

 

NEW CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

 

ALL ARE WELCOME - OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will

accept a maximum of eight participants

 

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

 

DAY ONE

 

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

 

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion

 

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

 

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

 

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and

support groups

 

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house

upside down while screaming - Open forum

 

DAY TWO

 

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play

 

Obviously there should have been a third option there for recycling but suppose they wanted to keep it simple :)

 

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation

 

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

 

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

 

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing

 

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

 

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

 

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...