4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Guest]

What happened to life? Its Saturday night and I'm sitting here alone sulking because casualty is on so late. I've had a glass of wine (which gets me merry nowdays after 10 months of not drinking!) and I'm falling asleep waiting for it - It's not even one of my favourite programmes!

 

I think it's time I got out there and got a life again but where do you start when youre 39 and a single parent, I don't have friends who invite me out - to the occasional party maybe but not "come down the pub". TBH I don't have that many friends at all, not even ones that invite me round to their house. I work with people who I'd rather not spend time with and others I know are just "content marrieds". Oh there is one friend but I just go round to her house occasionally as I cant do with going out and looking after her as she gets falling down drunk and hangs off strange men.

 

As yes men, I remember them. I wouldn't mind meeting a few, I have this sexy new shape and with my clothes on I look good - a different matter with them off but I'm working on that, gym 3 times a week and a lot of research into boob jobs (NOTHING will tone them!). How on earth do you meet them though when Saturday night is Casualty night?

 

I sound a lot more miserable that I am, just puzzled over how I got here and how I move on from here. I could go out any night I wanted as there is a live in babysitter in the annexe (well she's in bed in there and James is in bed upstairs!) but all I manage is the odd school function - like concerts and plays.

 

Anyone know any good ways of suddenly getting the occasional social invitation?

[Guest]

you could put a wanted ad on freecycle

 

wanted- social life- etc etc

 

do you live near a decent place where you wouldn't be uncomfortable to go on your own? A golf club or a yacht club or an upmarket pub? Where you wouldn't risk being hassled by drunken yobs.

 

My sister lives on a yacht and we often pop down to the yacht club for a drink. It's a really sociable, friendly place and I wouldn't be afriad to go on my own as it's safe, if you know what I mean.

 

A summer's evening, at the yacht club, lovely!

[whittlewitch]

Me thinks the wine doesn't help, doesn't life always seem bleaker after alcohol.

 

My entire social life revolves around my kids school, as I am one of the few active PTA members, which isn't as bad as it sounds,I have made a number of good friends through the PTA, infact they were all at mine last night having a few glasses of wine, and we often gave "additional" meetings in the local pub - so could this be one option?

 

I wish I could think of something more exciting, but to be honest without the PTA I would have very few friends and certainly no social life.

[Guest]

I don't feel bleak I'm just wondering where the way forward is.

 

I have little to do with the school except for being a governor, I get on really well with one other young gov but she is 8 months pregnant and her husband has serious kidney problems at the moment so I'm not really going to go out with her. It's Mum who does the school runs as I'm working - in the bleak and dreary place where I do NOT want to make friends with my (rather hostile) colleagues. I'm leaving there in a few weeks (12 days left - YAY!) too.

 

As for freecycle - I'll get into trouble for that one, its agianst the rules!

 

I'm going to V fest - but with 2 former pupils (well I'm meeting them there rather than just being on my own - they babysit for James sometimes).

[whittlewitch]

Perhaps the new job will lead to new social invitations

[deejmum]

I was also going to suggest the PTA. I am not a member of ours but I have spotted that the mums in it do have a social life with each other. I suppose it depends on what kind of social circle you are after. If you dont fancy spending time with marrieds and mums maymbe you could start a new get together thread (single egg omlet or something) for other single chicken keepers! Now that singles dont have record collections to show each other any more at least you will have chickens!

[Couperwife]

oh hon

 

(((hugs)))

 

why dont you join an evening class or something (I know, I know, you work so you dont have the time / energy / inclination) but you may just meet someone who is in the same boat as you and also wants a bit of light conversation on a saturday night

 

I go to pottery (im rubbish, but its great beating 7bells out of a piece of clay rather than a colleague ) and ive met a few friends that way

 

plus, its the end of term and you havent had a good few months have you?

 

things will get better.

 

I promise (and I know - )

 

cathy

x

[whittlewitch]

Just been on your diet blog, you look absolutely fantastic

[deejmum]

I realise that you are probably watching casualty now, but you have to think yourself lucky as since I have been married I have not been allowed to watch any hospital dramas I have also just looked at your diet blog and you are obviously an incredible lady to lose all of that weight. If you have the strength to do that you have the world at your feet!

 

Well done you, dont be blue

[Rona]

A golf club or a yacht club or an upmarket pub?

These are really good suggestions because with the golf and yacht clubs you could also learn golf and sailing - good exercise for the new slim you.

 

Do you have anyone in your area that arranges dinner nights for young single professionals? If not you could start one . Not a 'singles' night with everyone on the pull, but just a nice meal and good company with intelligent people who don't want to stay in and watch Casualty on a Saturday night.

 

Or, how about your local Am Dram group or perhaps find a local stables and take up horse riding. I only mention these because in my experience, (NOT personal experience I hasten to add ) these two activities seem to be hotbeds of all things passionate!

(Please, no offence to any horse riding actors, its just how things have gone for people I've known in the past )

[Guest]

A golf club or a yacht club or an upmarket pub?

These are really good suggestions because with the golf and yacht clubs you could also learn golf and sailing - good exercise for the new slim you.

 

)

 

...and you never know, you might bag yourself a millionaire in the process! If you do, remember whose idea it was

[morris]

erm ..ok ...how's this sound ............

 

you're intelligent , good business brain ..can spot a bargin ...dont suffer fools and all that !

 

so why don't YOU organise some single nights

you can tailor them around your likes ..vet the men and if any take your fancy invite them for a more detailed interveiw

but because its a money making--fun idea it dont matter if mr (could be trained to be) right aint there !.

 

oh you could organise a local version of " come dine with me " that be fun

[little chickadee]

Wow Pengy - I've just looked on your blog. You look so different even from when I saw you in March. No magic suggestions for socialising I'm afraid as that's something we struggle with organising ourselves!

 

Good luck

[Tina C]

I recommend evening classes - if you choose something you have an interest in you will have a common interest with others on the course, which is a good starting point.

 

After Layla was born I did some photography courses and met a lovely bunch of people - younger and older, male and female.

 

I believe you have back problems so this may not be appropriate, but another good thing to do is join a walking group if you can find a good one in your area - some may be full of more 'mature' people but a friend of mine goes on organised/guided walks on the south downs. I joined her once and they were a fantastic group of people, from a variety of walks of life and all very interesting.

 

What about taking up msuic again - weren't you in a band?

 

Good luck.

[Looney]

Social Life....what's that? I'm in bed at 9.30 every night to try and get some sleep in before Billy wakes me up repeatedly anytime from midnight onwards!

 

You look fantastic and by the sounds of it you feel fantastic about yourself too (apart from the social life situation!) which after all is the most important thing. I can only echo what others have suggested. Try different things and see what works....you may find you hate some groups / activities but love others and I'm sure you'll meet plenty of people along the way too. Some will turn into good friends I'm sure.

 

Shame you don't live closer, I quite fancy a trip to the pub (leaving OH to babysit )

[Egg Lou]

What happened to life? Its Saturday night and I'm sitting here alone sulking because casualty is on so late. I've had a glass of wine (which gets me merry nowdays after 10 months of not drinking!) and I'm falling asleep waiting for it - It's not even one of my favourite programmes!

 

I think it's time I got out there and got a life again but where do you start when youre 39 and a single parent, I don't have friends who invite me out - to the occasional party maybe but not "come down the pub". TBH I don't have that many friends at all, not even ones that invite me round to their house. I work with people who I'd rather not spend time with and others I know are just "content marrieds". Oh there is one friend but I just go round to her house occasionally as I cant do with going out and looking after her as she gets falling down drunk and hangs off strange men.

 

As yes men, I remember them. I wouldn't mind meeting a few, I have this sexy new shape and with my clothes on I look good - a different matter with them off but I'm working on that, gym 3 times a week and a lot of research into boob jobs (NOTHING will tone them!). How on earth do you meet them though when Saturday night is Casualty night?

 

I sound a lot more miserable that I am, just puzzled over how I got here and how I move on from here. I could go out any night I wanted as there is a live in babysitter in the annexe (well she's in bed in there and James is in bed upstairs!) but all I manage is the odd school function - like concerts and plays.

 

Anyone know any good ways of suddenly getting the occasional social invitation?

 

Now I wish I lived nearer to you as you as this pretty much sums up my life too!

 

I do have an OH but he lives 30 miles away so don't see that much as DD needs me more... and hens keep me at home!

 

No ideas for getting invitations though sorry!

[jlo]

Penguinmad - I hope you don't mind if I send your blog to my sister in the hope that it inspires her to look as good as you do now. Really well done - you must feel great about yourself to have achieved such a large weight loss.

 

On an advice front, not sure if your back would allow it but my chiropractor found her chap at a salsa class. There may be a few more women then men there but it shoud be a giggle.

[BeckyBoo]

It's hard isn't it? I'm going to hit 40 on Friday and I'm having a major mid-life crisis about it. Although I'm married I'm far from content and I feel like I'm finally "waking up" after nearly 8 years of changing nappies and being in bed by 10. Trouble is, last time I had a social life I was single with no children and it involved going to pubs, getting drunk and partying til the small hours. That really isn't my scene now so it's hard to know how to "invent" a social life. I don't have many friends either, loads of aquaintances but only a few friends and they don't really live nearby, but I'm not sad about it, I'm quite happy about it. So I actually think that your situation is not as unusual as you might think, I think there's probably quite a lot of others out there with the same dilemma.

Why not try some stuff with your lad, it can make new experiences a lot easier and not so nervewracking as going out there on your own. I took my two girls indoor rock climbing and booked myself a session afterwards (didn't get to go to mine in the end, long story) but they were my bit of dutch courage. How about joining the WI? Or go on some organised walks - our local council has free organised walks which are really great, you meet some fascinating people that way. Is there anything that you've always wanted to do? I'm starting drumming lessons in a fortnight, won't meet anyone particularly but I'll be doing something I've always wanted to try.

Good luck with it, it would be terrible if after all your hard work you weren't able to get out there and show yourself off.

Well done by the way, with the weight loss, I've only managed a stone and 2lb in about 4 months, it's very slow going

 

Mrs Bertie

[Egluntyne]

What about one of these dating agency thingies?

 

You'd have to be fairly selective about which one you use, but a bit of research might throw up one whose users would be your social cup of tea.

[Olly]

It's a cliche, but yes, joining something is the best way to meet people. Obviously it's got to be something you enjoy, whether that's AmDram, horseriding, canoeing, etc - evening classes are great, too. Be patient - it takes time, but it's always worked for me.

 

I'm single and have been for some years, but I'm very lucky in that I have a fantastic circle of friends. Most of them are married, but we don't really do 'coupley' things, so that doesn't matter - we have evenings at each other's houses but I never feel the odd one out. Also, most of them are happy to spend a night out without their OHs, so we quite often have 'girls only' evenings. A Saturday night in is a rare treat for me, there's always something on.

 

I'm not being smug about this, just making a point - I moved to London 11 years ago, and I only knew two people (neither of whom are in my current group of friends). I joined a choir, and some of us started going for a drink after rehearsals, this gradually grew to birthday meals, shopping trips, visits to each other's houses, camping weekends - it's just a case of finding people with similar interests. You may need to be the one to suggest going for a drink after evening class/rehearsal/practice or whatever - you'll probably find that others will be keen to go, but don't want to suggest it.

 

It is hard work, and it takes time - but I'm sure, having met you, that you're someone who makes friends easily and who doesn't sit in a corner watching life go by! Good luck, let us know how you progress.

[missuscluck]

Surprisingly I know 4 couples who have met through lonley hearts who are now very happily couples. Some of them married now.

One of them is my brother!

I know its a bit daunting and obviously you have to be so carefull but it could be worth a shot.

Most people who take this route are genuine people who want to meet people for companionship.

Try a singles club or a dinner club for singles. Speed dating maybe??? That always looks a giggle.

You look amazing.

 

Most of my current friends who I spend the most time with now I have made through the children. It is a good way to make friends.

As you are missing the school run, can you invite James friends over on the weekends to play thus meeting the mums. Ask them to collect them and stop for a cuppa.

I have fab fun nights out with my 'mum' friends. We do girlie nights in too.

Not good for meeting men I know but great light releif.

[craftyhunnypie]

Well I'm 33 & got no friends what so ever, apart from hubby, my parents, my sister & my animals. Sad eh?

If I were to vanish - apart from the people mentioned above, I would not be missed.

 

Emma.x

[Egluntyne]

You would....we'd notice your lack of posting here and would alert the authorities!

[Guest]

I did GCSE French at night school back in 2002 and met a girl who became a really good friend. We used to go to each others houses for meals and 'poker nights' quite often. Her hubbie ended up being the best man at our wedding.

 

Do you play poker? You could host a 'Texas hold 'em' night! Or Bridge? (I've never learned to play bridge), wist, scrabble etc etc.

 

Or join a chess, scrabble, poker club?

 

speaking of scrabble, I need to go and check my scrabulous games. I'm sure some of the people I'm playing are cheating! Someone put 'Isba' the other day (a small Russian hut) very fishy if you ask me

[Tessa the Duchess]

Well I'm 33 & got no friends what so ever, apart from hubby, my parents, my sister & my animals. Sad eh?

If I were to vanish - apart from the people mentioned above, I would not be missed.

Emma.x

 

That last sentence made me feel quite sad, you might be surprised at who would miss you if you happened to vanish, questions as to your whereabouts would definitely come from this forum

 

I have quite a few friends, most of them I met 40 odd years ago. I have known my oldest friend for nearly 60 years My sadness is that the majority of my friends were sensible enough to move away from London and are spread across the country and the world Thank goodness for e.mail We jointly have a group of friends in London and we meet, for dinner, quite often.

 

One thing I am sure of, is that if you want to make a new social life you just have to get yourself out there and start mingling. Evening classes, book group, learning a new skill, doesn't matter what it is just as long as other people are involved. I quite fancy learning belly dancing If it is romance you are looking for, joining something which is mainly for women is fine, as they will know men and you may meet someone through them. I am also a firm believer in the theory that you just never know where you will meet people, I met a romantic interest in a launderette many years ago, and I met a man with whom I spent 3 years at a blood donor session Love is all around folks

 

Tessa