deejmum Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I have received this joke in my e mail a few times, but for any of you that have not , this will probably make you smile. I should point out that I have both cats and dogs and this is soo true! Excerpt from a Dog's Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Stroked and patted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Slept on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpt from a Cat's Daily Diary: Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to be disgusting, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. "Ooops, word censored!"s. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omletina Kyckling Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 That is sooooooooo funny........and so true........thanks for posting.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Very funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I have seen that so many times of the years, but it never fails to make me smile :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I've never seen it before - it's brilliant . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 So true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 I have never seen it before cant wait to pass it on Thanks for posting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 I have seen this before also but love reading it The other one that I like are the instructions left on the fridge that are cat/ dog height. Anybody got that one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Very funny and so true. Not seen this before so many thanks deejmum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
