Solitary chicken - need advice

[Geoid]

My mate started smoking too, I nagged him for every second of every day about the effects of smoking, he has stopped now.

[Egluntyne]

I'd keep nagging her and bombard her with literature about the effect it will be having on her body.

 

Godd for you for caring.....and being sensible.

[Tiggy]

you are a good friend, and obviously care about her but she is making her own choices, all you can do is give her the information about stopping smoking and be there for her if she decides to try to stop.

[Olly]

Good for you for caring, but as Tiggy says, sadly it's true that no matter how much we care about others, we can't actually change what they do. It sounds like you've tried all ways of getting the message across - it isn't that she doesn't know the risks and problems. If nagging, joking, etc hasn't worked, it's probably not going to work if you go on.

 

At some point you'll have to choose between continuing to see her, and the effect it has on you; but it's her choice to smoke, not yours, and you're not responsible for that choice. Don't let her problems become yours!

[Cinnamon]

My youngest was hanging around with a new group of people & they all started smoking,so she decided that she didn't want to be assosiated with them any more & found a new group to hang out with.

 

I was very proud of her for doing this,especially as it was totally her own choice & decision.

[craftyhunnypie]

Tell her if she gets a boyfriend who is a none smoker, how horrible the taste will be for him!

Tell her that boys find it totally unattractive & prefer sensible girls - who don't smoke.

I'd nag her to death!

 

Emma.x

[kitbag]

I have had this problem before. It's horrible, but you can't always get people to stop. Three of my friends have started in the past, and I have only managed to get one of them to stop. I just nagged him nearly time I saw him about how he is going to die earlier and that he stank!

 

It worked in the end - hope something works for you!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Phonix]

None of my friends at uni smoke but when people who do smoke come to our house we make them do it outside lol

 

As for friends at home - quite a lot of them do. Nothing I could do to stop them as much as I hate the smell etc.

IMO they can only smoke outdoors etc now anyways so I just stay in the pub whatever while they go out and usually the smell isn't too bad when they get back but iv def found since the ban that they smoke less as alot of it is social smoking! Maybe in a few months (whenever they turn 18) they'll start going out and not want to miss out on the fun by having to go outside to smoke while you stay inside and have fun!

 

x

[Seagazer]

It is hard to get someone to stop smoking unless they really want to do it. My sister has smoked since she was 18 and she's 40 now and I really worry about her. A couple of years ago our aunt died of lung cancer and I thought this would stop her. She did for a bit but starts again after a couple of months. Nagging doesn't help with her, she shuts off, you can see it happening. My mum nags and sis just closes down.

 

My ES started smoking a little while ago, he's an apprentice and a lot of the engineers smoke so he decided to join them. Thankfully he has a girlfriend who doesn't smoke and he seems to have stopped now.

 

You said your friend is a bit overweight, how about trying to get her to exercise a bit, gym, dance classes or just out walking. If she gets out of breath she might realise she needs to stop smoking.

 

It can be done, I stopped 18 years ago and have never smoked since.

[jess]

unfortunately as much right as you have to not smoke she also has that right too smoke. I would just ignore it, don't talk about it when you are with her she will soon get bored of it not getting her attention. who you are in high school isnt who you will be for the rest of your life trust me!

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

It sounds like she's going to make her own decisions. You've got the right idea by wanting to stay away from smoking. It doesn't mean you have to abandon your friend.

 

If you don't like her smoking round you, make that clear, but if she wants to smoke around other people, she will.

 

If she's a recent smoker, and you know anyone who has died of cancer, it may be worth giving her the details of all the pain and hurt it can cause. It's more personal than the facts and figures from government channels and can make you think twice.

 

The trouble with smoking is, you don't see any real damage for at least 20 years, and by then, it's been so slow in affecting you, you don't notice the effects on yourself, and you're truly hooked. You may be in for a long fight with her. But you're being ever so good by caring so much.

 

Anna x

[..lay a little egg for me]

I agree with what everyone else said about how hard it is to get people to change their behaviour (I can't even change my own overeating plus exercise-phobia ). Unfortunately, even knowing the massive list of smoking-related diseases (cancer, emphysema, heart disease, leg amputation due to heart disease...) is unlikely to affect her as most people, and especially younger people, never believe it will happen to them. My Dad smoked for 40+ years and it was only when the doc said he had to stop smoking or both his legs would have to be amputated that he gave up!

 

I think A chickychickychick-ENN! has given good advice...tell her you won't hang out with her if she smokes...at least you won't be subjected to her smoke and she will see she is not 'fitting in' with everyone!

 

Good luck

[Janty]

Just make sure that your friend doesn't try to get you to start smoking. Years ago I used to go round with a girl who started smoking. My Mum smoked and I was really anti-smoking. As much as I used to nag my friend to stop smoking, she used to try to encourage me to start. She'd accuse me of being frightened, etc. I just said that I wasn't that stupid.

 

All you can do is be supportive and if she doesn't stop and you can't avoid the stench of her awful habit, find new friends. It sounds awful but why should you have to put up with the side effects of her stupidity.

 

Sorry you lot but I am really anti-smoking. My Mum gave up smoking ten years before her death but smoking for 30 years still contributed to her early death.

[jlo]

DD has a good friend who has an older brother. I saw him smoking in the village some time ago. I had a quiet word with him later on. He asked if I was going to tell his mum. He thought that I was psychic when I said to him, " I won't have to. She will smell it on you, even though the first thing you do when you get home is go upstairs and clean your teeth. "

 

I try and sell the anti smoking to my two on the basis that it is really not cool to give the government and the tobacco companies so much of your money and that they are laughing all the way to the bank when more gullible teenagers get hooked on the weed. Not sure if it is going to work though!

 

I fear that your friend will continue to think that it is cool to smoke and to be part of the "in" crowd whose members think that they are all rebelling when really they are doing the same as teenagers over the years have done.

 

Yes, I was a numpty who thought that it was grown up and rebellious to smoke when I was a teenager and it is something that I look back on with complete humiliation that I could be such a sheep!

[fowlbird]

Sorry you lot but I am really anti-smoking. My Mum gave up smoking ten years before her death but smoking for 30 years still contributed to her early death.

same here... not only was it bad for all of us - it was bad for the family budget too

 

Scrambled

you've been given some good advice on here. At the end of the day it's your life and your health that you have to protect and it may be that if you withdraw from your friend, making it clear why you're doing so, she might rethink her position.

 

Best wishes to you xxxxx

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

I saw an episode of The Osbournes where Ozzy was moaning about fags, and he said that it is the only drug which doesn't give you a buzz of some sort - all it does is stop the cravings it creates within you. It's true. And he should know given what he's put his body through over the years. Not that that's a reason to try any other kinds of substances, unless you're legal in age and have access to Poet's Limoncello! But Limoncello should be the limit!

[Janty]

I don't know how much cigarettes cost but if it's £4 per 20, then a 20 a day habit will cost £28 a week and 40 a day will cost £56 a week. That's enough money to buy an eglu in 7-13 weeks.

[fowlbird]

so if I'd taken up smoking I could have given up and then I'd have enough money to get another eglu?

then how come I can't afford a new eglu even though I've never wasted money on cigarettes?

 

WHERE'S MY MONEY GONE?

[Janty]

 

Can't answer that one but I seem to have the same problem. Mind you, my money goes on saxophone lessons and treats for the girls and chickeny things that we don't really need but seem essential at the time.

 

Imagine how much poorer we'd be if we had taken up smoking.

[fowlbird]

saxaphone lessons? I know someone in kent who plays the sax... do you do any of that bluesy stuff?

 

I suppose Dutch lessons aren't cheap either

 

if I smoked I wouldn't be allowed in the class