2009 Omlet cube and run for sale

[Ain't Nobody Here]

That made me laugh too . Well done, Poet .

 

I'll start on your mother next if you're not careful!!!

 

Mother? What mother? Haven't seen or spoken to her in a month, yes that's right, a month .

 

See, Becky ? You can ignore people who make life difficult for you (even if they're not in-laws ). My mother's happiness (yeah, right!) is not my responsibility, your ex and his family are not your responsibility. Believe me, it's a huge relief allowing yourself to not feel responsible . Try it, you'll see .

[Egluntyne]

I agree with what everyone else has said. You have enough on your plate. If he can prop up a bar, he can sort his mother out.

[Couperwife]

oh becky (((hugs)))

 

i think you should pass the responsibility onto "the sister" (yes, even if she is on holiday )

 

phone up with "YOUR brother ..., YOUR mother...," etc

 

then put the phone down with a very cheery "byeeee"

 

more (((hugs)))

 

cathy

x

[Ardene5]

Hi

We would think that you need to get advice on this matter.

Social Services for his parents, AA for him if he drives tell the police.

Ensure at his place of work knows he has a drink problem as it will

affect how he works.

Please also ensure that your locks are changed as he can not try to

force an entrance.

 

Please take care

 

Thinking of you

 

Best wishes

 

Ian & Valerie

[..lay a little egg for me]

Just wanted to say that I agree with everyone else who says that your ex's family are NOT your responsibility and I would also question whether you should be allowing your ex to have unsupervised contact with your kids as it seems to me that you don't know what might happen while he is more interested in keeping his alcohol levels up than taking responsibility for anything. Like PapaJuliet says, it might be better for your kids not to be seeing him while he is still drinking.

 

If you feel you cannot stand by and see his parents suffer, then tell the sister and/or social services.

 

Lots of hugs coming your way from me too ((((hugs))))

[Rhapsody]

Gosh how brave you are, not unreasonable at all! Her'es my two'pennorth- start saying NO. pracise it in the mirror, look yourself in the eye and say NO. Not 'no I'm sorry', or I'd love to but' just a firm clear NO. If you are not there to pick up all their broken pieces they will get by and get through somehow, it is not your responsibility.

I walked away from my alcholic, abusive and wildly dysfuntional family 20 years ago and never looked back, best decision I ever made.

xxx

[baby bears mum]

I totally agree with all the above - WALK AWAY AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!!!!!!!

 

Not your responsibility and don't you dare feel guilty about it.

 

Don't normally have much to do with most of my IL's but there was a family funeral this weekend so had to meet up. Needless to say most of it was spent in the pub with FIL and MIL and SIL and BIL x2 getting the worse for wear. I was driving so managed to get one SIL and her kids home and one niece and BIL home before it all kicked off (FIL had already had a go at one of the littlies but OH and I managed to divert things). That is my limit for the next 12 months

 

Fortunately my OH has seen so much happen with alcohol that he very rarely touches a drop.

 

I can assure you I don't feel guilty for cutting them out for the majority of the time, and Baby Bear has made her own mind up about them. If I can do it so can you so don't you feel guilty.

 

I believe my main responsiblity is looking after Baby Bear, OH, my parents, and me. We can't be made to feel responsible for other people's decisions - even if it is a relative (of sorts).

 

Keep going honey you are worth a million of them.

 

Love to you and the kids.

[Chillicat]

Hi - I'm only up the road and will glady help out whenever you need it.

I know everyone means well, but unfortunately you sometimes can't just walk away, and maybe you don't really want to do that for all sorts of other reasons, financial, emotional etc.

Anyway, I agree with everyone else, the MIL and FIL are really not your problem. However, as a really good person, as everyone knows you are, you will do whatever you need to do..................and that is ok. BUT only, and ONLY when, how and if it suits YOU.

You will come out the other side a stronger person, and no doubt your kids will too.

Your ex will have to pull up his own socks from now on and take responsibility for his parents, you have far more to cope with.

Good luck with everything and happy for you to pm me whenever. xx

[chelsea]

I agree with what everyone else has said. You have enough on your plate. If he can prop up a bar, he can sort his mother out.

 

I completely agree. well said Eglutine.

 

Becky, like someone else said - you have enough on your plate hun taking care of you and your children. Shift his responsibility on to him and take care of you and yours.x

[jackiepoppies]

Hi Becky,

 

I have only just caught up with this and I can add nothing useful except to say that all the advice you have been given is spot on.

 

I really hope you can put your 'niceness' to one side for your ex family and channel your energies into what is necessary for just you and the children. That has to be your priority.

 

My thoughts are with you along with a huge hug. Do let us know how things are.

 

Jackie

[BeckyBoo]

Well, just as an update, it has been an emotional roller-coaster here. The children seem to be a bit more adjusted to things, he's had them one evening a week and on Sundays which I think is good and last weekend was lovely, I had a lovely day on Saturday with the children, just normal stuff, then they had a lovely day with their Dad Sunday, there was no drama, he even came in a fixed a tap that had suddenly leaked all down the wall. Then yesterday evening I had a really nice phone call from him. It was civilised and normal, and actually we were talking as though nothing had happened - he was telling me all about his sister and his Mum (confirmed dementia) and his Dad (back out of hospital from a clot on the lung then back in again yesterday for more chemo ) But do you know I wish he was still being obnoxious, and awkward and a pain in the proverbial because on the back of the phone call yesterday I miss him again. I just collected smallest boy from him as he'd had him for an hour so I could help out with MD at Rainbows, and again, it was nice when I collected him. I'm not daft, I know I can't live with him, it's easy to be nice for a fleeting meeting, I know we still clash and fight like cats and dogs, and he's still drinking. But although at the minute I'm having more good days than bad it makes the sad days feel REALLY sad.

 

Oh what a load of tosh, I came on this morning can you tell - feeling sorry for myself! I shall snap out of it by tidying up after my horrors!

 

BeckyBoo

[Couperwife]

oh Becky

 

(((hugs)))

 

just remember that we are here for you.

 

cathy

x

[Ygerna]

Its a hard time making the adjustments but maybe you will become one of those lucky couples who manage to salvage a friendship from a broken relationship. It would be great for the children if you could. You can't live with each other (thats obvious) but friends can still care.

 

In the meantime, thinking of you, and hoping you can find that inner strength to get through this latest stage.