chrisnrob Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, /*there is no secret exit from the bathroom! */If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the k"Ooops, word censored!" or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-us ers ; (7) don't smoke or drink, ( don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Fabulous . I think I've seen it before but it still made me laugh . It's so true . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamebird Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Very funny. What would we do without our pets to make us laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Thats brill (and true - esp the bathroom bit) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing cloud Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I love this Still haven't been able to persuade tubby Puddy that I don't need her company in the bathroom though . She'd claw the door to pieces if I didn't let her in (and then she wants the warm towel off the radiator, properly folded please ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I love this its sooooo true the bathroom bit is hillarious , I remember when we hadnt had Piper Kit very long, she nearly jumped into the bath with me cos she wanted to sit on my knee I caught her just in time cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 So, so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruth1 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 fab, and so true, I have a tiny bathroom and me and two cats trying to me company dont all fit in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 So funny And true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Oh, how true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mostin Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 It's so funny, and true especially the bathroom. I never get to "go" without an audience, or have a bath in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 absolutely true and brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 ........ a perfect description of life in the Hillfamily house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenuk99 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Lol loved it! Worryingly my bunnies fit the list Even when I have a bath they bob in the room every now and then to check I am still there. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Not sure why but I thought this bit was particularly funny (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children I love my boys really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...