Janepie33 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I just don't get any! OH used to work away from home for months on end, then he worked closer to home and just came home at weekends, then ho got a 'normal' job and came home every evening and NOW he works from home. The worst option of all! I love having time to myself to just potter and as I have had Thursdays off for the last 7 years, I used to use that time to recharge my batteries and do as I please. But since June 1st this year OH has been around 24 /7. He doesn't go out with friends ever (well, he went to a beer festival one evening a couple of months ago) and thinks that as he works in the shed at the bottom of the garden then all is well. He just doesn't understand that his popping in to make tea, use the loo etc every couple of hours means that my 'time on my own' has completly dissapeared. Today, for the first time in 3 months, he was supposed to be out all day - on my day off! Hooray! I hadn't planned much, some housework, a bit of day time TV, make a casserole, play with the new kitten, browse the forum, all on my own. Imagine my dismay when at 11am the front door opened, OH walked in announcing that the meeting was cancelled. I tried to explain how precious the day was to me, especially as I am going away for a weekend conference and might have to share a room with a stranger, but he just didn't get it. Then at 12 he announced that the meeting was back on and he was off agan. I don't feel like making a casserole now! Plus my mouth is all lop sided due to a trip to the dentist this morning. The anaesthetic has worn off, but I still can't smile properly (not that I feel like smiling anyway). Sorry for the rant Just feeling really really sorry for myself today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurpleTree Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Oh poor you. I think it would drive me nuts having hubby here all the time too, even if it was just popping in and out. I really value any time to myself too, especially as I stay at home with the children, who constantly want attention. I would love to have just one morning a week to do something for myself, on my own. You rant away, I hope your feeling better soon and sort it all out. Sorry I haven't said anything constructive have I? Maybe someone else will say something more useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I can totally understand how you're feeling . I hate it when OH is around on a day he shouldn't be and I have a day off work. We get on well, I just feel it cramps my style and I feel guilty if I'm not doing loads of constructive things . Sorry, I can't add anything constructive either though, I'm afraid . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I know what you mean. I love having my husband around and we spend a lot of time together, but I do also love having time to myself. he would love us to run a business together but I think that I would miss those days when I just want to browse the forum and potter. I hope that he eventually understands without taking offence. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I chose to work Saturday morning & get a whole day off on Wed instead of extra pay, everyone here thinks I'm nuts but I can get so much done when I'm home alone, Sat mornings I'm falling over OH & teenagers with friends, so I'm bettter off at work - I know exactly where you are coming from Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 It's hard isn't it trying to explain why you need "me time" without upsetting someone...maybe the meeting wasn't back on he just felt guilty & went out using that as an excuse, thinking he was doing the best for you ? If you're feeling rotten with a mouthful of dentistry and you were so looking forward to being alone the disappointment would have been magnified ........and much better to rant on here than give him both barrels I'd try & get on with the casserole & have a good snuggle with the kittie, then work out how to calmly explain to him again how you feel, it must be terribly hard to go from "part-time" married when he was away all the time to "full-on plus"....... Do you ever go out together, just the 2 of you, away from work? Maybe you should have a few trips out, even just a walk in the park or a visit to a museum/pub whatever you used to do when you were "courting" (crikey, do I sound old or what saying that ) & rediscover "our" time as well as setting aside some "me" time for each of you, if he doesn't want/need "me" time, he still has to understand that you do Not sure if this is of any help at all, but I hope you get everything sorted soon, simmering discontent is not good for either of you. {{hugs}} Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 Thanks everyone. Feeling much better. Especially as I have hoovered throughout and watched an episode of "Come dine with me" while eating a toffee pecan Danish! Casserole is next on the list and I might even have time to read some of my book without feeling guilty for doing 'nothing'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Very therapeutic is hoovering sometimes...though don't tell DH I said that !! Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..lay a little egg for me Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I just feel it cramps my style and I feel guilty if I'm not doing loads of constructive things . Me too ANH, me too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I just don't get any! OH used to work away from home for months on end, then he worked closer to home and just came home at weekends, then ho got a 'normal' job and came home every evening and NOW he works from home. The worst option of all! This is similar to our situation, though the working away was for a week at a time and home at weekends, then changed his job to come home each night and then started his own business and worked from home........we spend a lot of time in each others company, but this was a step too far and now he has an office away from the house which works much better for both of us and he likes the 'coming home' aspect, rather than just coming downstairs! Hope you're feeling a little better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 A bit different, but Dad is off work with a bad back and has been for a couple of months, it seems strange to come home after a half day and him be here - you can't put the tele on really load and just sit on facebook He also keeps cooking cakes and food because he's bored, but he'll stand there and watch you eat it and then have a Q&A about how good he is at cooking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I really relish my days at home on my own,when I can do my own thing & please no one but myself. I have always been comfortable with my own company, & consider myself lucky that I have Mon-Fri during school hours to myself. Hubby is already talking about 'when we retire to France' & the thought of all day every day with him fills me with alarm Even now if he come home unexpectedly I feel the need to look like I am being really busy,& not just doing the things I enjoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Me and my other half both work from home. He runs his own business and I do stats for a big health company. However he always considers 'his' work to be more important and I often to have to help him out on the computer. Working 24/7 in the same house is a strain and he doesn't recognise that I am not at his beck and call. I feel I never have time on my own as I do all the dropping and picking up from school - cooking etc (he can just about 'make' baked beans!). I had an eight hour round trip yesterday for a meeting and I had to :- * lay out all the school clothes * put the bags by the front door * put breakfast out * I even booked them into after school club until six even though I hate doing this Well I had phone call at 8.30 asking how to do hair. He was late in dropping off. At 5.30 he was stuck in a traffic jam and couldn't get there for 6 and expected me to arrange pick up even though I was on the M6. For a successful man the capacity to think outside the box is very lacking. Saying that he is good father although too soft and I do love him most of the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 Glad to feel I am not alone! Think I will have to get out my 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus' book again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
