Popcorn Posted November 23, 2005 Author Share Posted November 23, 2005 er I might need some help with that one Kate.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 a perch is a type of fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Two snowmen standing in a field. One says to the other "can you smell carrots?" Just heard that one on the radio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted November 23, 2005 Author Share Posted November 23, 2005 Ok, I got that one!! I had no idea a perch was a fish though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 You can learn so much here Even on the worst jokes thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Blue Sky Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 What about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I like that one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleata Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Does anyone know the first symptoms of Bird Flu? Because I have been feeling peckish all day..................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 O.K., so up to now i've tried to resist jokes that could be considered bad taste to others less fortunate than I But I saw the Dis.. Err....Dysles..Hmm... Dyspeps... Hang on a minute.... Dyslexic!! Joke and couldn't resist this one. Did you hear about the Dyslexic who walked into a Bra? Or The Dyslexic who accidentally bought a whorehouse? Jem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted November 23, 2005 Author Share Posted November 23, 2005 ok I have one. What key can open any door? A PIKEY !!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Terrible !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clare* Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Ok one from me then What do you call a donkey with only three legs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 A wonky clare* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clare* Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 (edited) Correct Louise. You watch kids telly in the morning as well do you : Edited November 24, 2005 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 No I just have a very juvenile sense of humour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Ok one from me then What do you call a donkey with only three legs? That's my favourite joke Clare! The only one I can remember the punchline to!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clare* Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 Kate you've just made me giggle with your comment I cannot tell jokes for that reason I can never remember either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieW Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Here's one I was e-mailed last night. It may be on here already but I don't have time to read 14 pages at the moment. Hope you enjoy A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise" The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." . . . . . . Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck" Is that cute or what? Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Just rec'd this email from a pal... A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed to: "Mum." With a real feeling of foreboding, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mum, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this, but I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, Mum; I'm pregnant, and John said that we will be very happy. He already has a camper van to live in - we've found a really nice secluded spot in the woods and have a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. You'll be glad to know that John's taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone - he's so industrious Mum, he's worked out a plan where we'll be growing it and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine, ecstasy and food that we need. In the meantime, we're hoping that science will find a cure for HIV so John can get better as he really deserves to - he's such a good person and he's been attending his parole meetings and rage management sessions regularly now. I know you'll worry when you read this, but please try not to - I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself - I'm confident that even if John doesn't get through the HIV and Hepatitis C, I'll be able to take care of our children myself and will bring them over regularly to visit you and Dad. I love you both and hope you wish me well. Your daughter, Catherine PS : Mum, none of the above is true - I'm at Jen's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school report (I've left it in my desk drawer). Call me when it's safe to come home - I love you! ...Phew, Being the father of two daughters I bet that was a relief Jem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Definitely a phew!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 that would definately be a heart in mouth moment! Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
