Smart Feeder - Light sensor values

[Duncan08]

Mmmm, it is an interesting thread and I can relate to a lot of it in different ways.

 

I too can be a bit Jackal and Hyde, in work I am Mrs Confident, dealing with customers and staff, making decisions and generally giving an air of I know what I am doing.

 

The small talk thing, again at work functions its fine, I can sort of switch it on as soon as I walk in the room. But socially, I think I am becoming lazy or maybe just more choosy. I find it very difficult to motivate myself to start conversations with people that bore me, doesn't that sound terrible, ask me about my chickens and I can talk for ages, and I enjoy a good debate about all the social no no's, politics, religion etc. but the old did you watch corrie last night type conversations really switch me off, I prefer to talk to people much older than me or much younger - you get a totally different perspective on things.

I have a very small circle of very close friends, and a huge circle of aquaintances that you will meet at local pubs, do's etc. But very few people that I feel totally relaxed with. My best friend is great to go out with, she talks for England, and you just nod every now again if you are not in the mood. She actually stops mid sentence and says, "that didn't actually happen, I added that on" which is the art of a good storyteller and why some people embellish their anecdotes for more interesting listening.

Totally agree with Olly, the best way to deal with small talk is to get the person you are talking to to start talking about themselves. Just make sure you remember to listen in occasionally and nod every now and again

My DH is a social animal, he too talks for England, to anyone and everyone. He can go anywhere in the world and meet someone he knows. The best part of holidays for him is meeting new people from all over, and he keeps in touch. We have had people stay with us from Greece, Mexico, USA just from John "Chatting".

 

We do a lot of entertaining, which actually I enjoy more than being entertained. Here you have the perfect excuse to step away from the awkward/boring moment to check the oven and clear a few plates.

 

I have been told that I come across as a s"Ooops, word censored!" before now. When I meet new groups of people, I tend to watch rather than dive straight in, it takes me a while to come out of my shell and it comes across as standoffish.

 

Networking Events - have you ever attended any, Now these are challenges, a group of people brought together who don't know each other and are looking to make friends and do some business. Oh I do not enjoy them at all. My stategy is to try and target someone else who also looks a little shy to get a conversation going, then attach myself to them to circulate as a pair, have made a couple of false starts, but it is easier than starting from scratch with everyone.

 

It is definitely an age thing though. In my youth I worked in night clubs, was out every night of the week, and had two full time jobs. These days I race home from work as soon as I can, to get my old clothes on and go talk to the chickens and take the dog out. Apart from a chat over tea I could happily not speak to anyone!!

[Cinnamon]

Mmmm, it is an interesting thread and I can relate to a lot of it in different ways.

 

I too can be a bit Jackal and Hyde, in work I am Mrs Confident, dealing with customers and staff, making decisions and generally giving an air of I know what I am doing.

 

I have been told that I come across as a s"Ooops, word censored!" before now. When I meet new groups of people, I tend to watch rather than dive straight in, it takes me a while to come out of my shell and it comes across as standoffish.

 

 

Both of these statements relate to me.

I am careful about how I speak - I never drop my H's or anything & tend,if I am uncomfortable,to become even more careful with my speech.

My husband has been told he has a 'Posh' (for that read standoffish) wife many times

 

Just a month or so ago I was reported to my manager for being 's"Ooops, word censored!"by' to a customer,who evidently had a chip on her shoulder about her broad Liverpool accent,when I actually enjoyed hearing her speak (I love accents!)

She said she obviously had the wrong accent to be shopping in Waitrose & always felt looked down upon by the staff

Ironically the more upset & irate she got with me,the less comfortable I was & the better spoken & 'stiffer' I became

Luckily (not that my boss would have done anything other than stand right by me any way) the next customer in line also spoke to him about how I had done nothing wrong & how the other lady had a huge problem with her own self esteem

[Chortle Chook]

There has been so much here that I can relate to. I'd like to give everyone writing on this thread a big hug to say "thank you"

 

patsylabrador you really made me laugh with your reaction to the dreaded words "oooh, let's get together with some girls for a girl's night out" I so agree Following the advice of a friend I have been trying to get to know myself better by making myself aware of 'What you would most like to change about where you are and what you would most like to repeat" A girls' night out is never something I'd want to repeat. On the other hand an Omlet get together is a different thing altogether even if, like patsylabrador I "just stand there silently smiling" .

 

Cinnamon - I can so relate to you on the voice thing. I have always wished that I had a nice accent, preferably a Welsh one which is my all time favourite, or a Birmingham, Liverpool or Newcastle one as they all sound so friendly and warm. Alas I have what everyone calls a 'posh' voice (rather nasal, clipped and stiff) so I usually only have to open my mouth for people I'd like to be friends with to melt away As you say when I am tense "the better spoken & 'stiffer' " I become.

 

Also like craftyhunnypie and Duncan08 I prefer to talk to people either much older or younger than myself, partly because they inhabit a world I know little about and am immediately interested in, and partly because they seem to have more time for me. Also like Duncan, I do the question asking thing to deflect attention from myself. You are right. This works well as people can talk for England about themselves. The silly thing is, though, I'd sometimes, secretly, like to talk about me if anyone would ask.

 

There has been lots of good advice on this thread for those who find social situations difficult but this has got to be the best (from majorbloodnock) "if you go seeking popularity you rarely find it, but if you ignore popularity it seems to seek you out regardless". My bestest and most long lasting friends have always been those who sought me out rather than the other way round.

 

Also like Leeloo I think a book club might be the answer for me. The time I have to spend on my job and a certain slowness in reading makes this not really a possiblity at the moment but one day I hope to go part time and then I'll certainly join a book club. I think it is the only club I'd really feel comfortable with but would give me that longed for sense of 'belonging' I hope.

 

Two last little things (before I bore you all rigid) . . . Margalot when you say "just, I feel I could be a nicer person" I'm sure you are expecting too much of yourself. Most of the time, as this thread shows, whatever you do or think you are not on your own. You'd have to do something truly odd or bad to be any worse than anyone else.

 

And Chicken Licken, you obviously have lots of worthwhile things to say, even if, like others on here, you'd rather natter about chickens or other animals. I love reading what you say on Omlet.

[Christian]

Interesting thread.

 

I think mine has always been low. Not helped by being seriously over weight for most of my life - although now am reasonably happy with my weight. Slowly getting there and getting a dog has helped

 

My job forces me to be sociable, but I tend to shy away from large gatherings and feel awkward in a group. Now that I have moved quite a way from friends and family, I don't get many visitors, but rarely feel lonely. I quite like pottering around my garden, walking the dog and seeing to the hens. I have met so many people when out walking and that is nice. On a one to one basis is fine with me.

[patsylabrador]

Hey Margalot, because of this thread I have done something I've been trying to do for ages. I've joined a social group for ladies who are past and present MetPol officers. I'm quite excited, one of the things they do is guided walks around London, which I think is a good way to meet people. So cheers, I think it's going to be fun.

[sadietoo]

Hey Margalot, because of this thread I have done something I've been trying to do for ages. I've joined a social group for ladies who are past and present MetPol officers. I'm quite excited, one of the things they do is guided walks around London, which I think is a good way to meet people. So cheers, I think it's going to be fun.

 

well done you, Patsylabrador

 

 

I just wanted to add my twopenneth for what it is worth... I am not a hugely social person and empathise with everyone who struggles with small talk...but actually (perhaps egotistically? )I would have said I have often thought that those that I don't seem to be able to gel with in small talk are either sometimes just like me ,not very good at it and a bit shy (if you acknowledge it sometimes works well and you can move to a whole deeper level of conversation).. or for the other sort of social gathering where clearly whilst you are trying to make small talk someone else it looking for the opportunity to expand their business or whatever by scanning the room etc.. .(I believe it's called "networking "but I like to call it shallow... ) I like to hightlight their bad manners by pointing this out to them and saying..."Well clearly I am boring you so I'll leave you to talk to someone else...."( it's good to have your exit strategy planned for this one......you need at least one other person to engage immediately in conversation.!!)

[Guest]

After 30 years of being belittled by my ex - I ditched him! One affair too many......

I had zero confidence, had gained weight, had few nice clothes, no self esteem, felt ugly and unloved.

So 6 years ago or so I was very low, I had a job I loved, but he ridiculed! So I threw myself into my job and grew so much. MY boss pushed me to try new things and my confidence just grew and grew. Then I got chickens - and found you lot and made more friends and realised there are so many people out there like me.

2 and bit years ago I met a man that has changed my life - he loves me for who I am, accepts me how I am and the future looks a wonderful place to be!

I got my allotment, growing things is good for the soul! It attunes you with the seasons - grounds you!

8 weeks ago I bought my son a much wanted puppy! only secretly admitting that it was me who wanted one as much as he did! I had wanted a dog since I was a child but was never allowed one, by my parents (we lived in flats) or my ex. I woke up one morning and told myself that I was in control of my life and it was up to me what I did with it - after all - we only get one! Tanner is 16 weeks old and great fun! He's a reason to get me out walking in the mornings and makes me smile when he squirms with pleasure at seeing me - even if i've been out of the house for 5 minutes!

I don't particularly like parties - but I can host a gathering at work with complete strangers and thoughroughly enjoy it! I can take groups on tours and enthuse them about the Dockyard till the cows come home.

I love family gatherings - but then we all get on so well that they are pure pleasure!

 

NOW

 

If you had asked me this question 6 years ago I would only have had negatives for you! But today all is good!

So- my advice?

Do what you have to do in life to keep the wheels turning, work/home/children etc

Then choose to do what you want to do with the rest of your time carefully!

If that's talking to chickens - great !

If it's dog walkies - brilliant!

If it's swimming - excellent! ( I try to most days).

Knit or sew - I do both and am joining in the knitting challenge on Omlet.(haven't knitted much for years)

Get rid of toxic friends and aquantancies who drag you down and drain your confidence or happiness.

If you need to lose weight - just get on with it! (I did)

Dance/swim/laugh/love - often and with every bone in your body!

Go to bed of a night knowing that you did something for you that day that made you smile or made your heart sing!

 

Love yourself! .....It's a great place to start!

xxx

Edited April 5, 2012 by Guest

[Chortle Chook]

I'm so glad you have found confidence louisewomble. That's lovely heart warming advice. I have to say that this Omlet forum (club) has helped me no end over the past year or so. Things are getting better bit by bit.

Now it's sewing and a book club to take me a bit further along the road to cheerful self confidence. (Oh, and ditching those friends that make me feel small)

[Guest]

I'm so glad you have found confidence louisewomble. That's lovely heart warming advice. I have to say that this Omlet forum (club) has helped me no end over the past year or so. Things are getting better bit by bit.

Now it's sewing and a book club to take me a bit further along the road to cheerful self confidence. (Oh, and ditching those friends that make me feel small)

 

 

Thankyou!

I love this place - Omlet don't just make hen's happy - they make their owners happy too!

And i'm really with you about ditching the "friends" bit - if they make you feel that way - then they are really not friends at all!