Valkyrie Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I'm so pleased that you've met up with your dad. It will be hard at first. One thing to think of is if he's happy then that's good. If it doesn't end well, then you can be there to support him, but he needs to find out for himself. It would be a shame if he doesn't find another person to be his companion in his old age. I think with men they like to be looked after. Women are more independent and are well able to cope on their own and like their own space - of course male company is nice, but let them mess up their own bathrooms eh!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheeky Chooky Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 So glad to hear you're feeling more positive after meeting up with Dad and posting your letter *hug* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing cloud Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Well done you for meeting up with your dad, which can't have been easy. Glad it went so well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheilaz Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 ....... The only one positive thing I can think of about men who find a new partner so soon after losing their wives is that it's kind of testament to how happy they were being part of a couple that makes them look quickly for a new partner. I think this is spot on. Also, if you feel cut in half by the death of a spouse you have a choice; completely crumble at your devastation and be a drain on all around you, or live every minute to the full and make your new unchosen world bright around you with new friendships and interests (and sob behind closed doors) The grief is still the same, it is not diminished, nor is the original love, however it appears to others. If a widow has a chance for joy in his life, however soon, be pleased for him, it is possible to experience joy and grief simultaneously. He may be embarrassed and not want to hurt you, I'm glad you've seen him, it'll be great if you have his support. ( I've seen it happen and have a different perspective now) Sorry for all the difficulties and sorrow you've experienced. I'm sending you love, hugs and best wishes for the future. Your strength shines through, it's been a great leap forward recognising what's getting to you, sometimes it's hard to tell with so much happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovychook Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 Thank you Sheila for your reply, I really appreciate your reply. I'll take on board your advice and do my best! Went to the doctors this morning, took a deep breath and told her about everything that's been going on. She was very understanding and seemed un-fazed by my pathetic blubbing! She's going to organise some counselling for me. I might have to wait a while to see someone but I don't mind that. She didn't suggest anti depressants, which I was quite relieved about. I suppose we'll see how the counselling goes first. It's my OH's birthday tomorrow, so I've emailed my Dad and invited him round to see him. He's not responded to any invites over the past few months but I'm hoping that since meeting up with him, he'll be more inclined to come. Fingers crossed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I'm glad that you've been to the doctors. Sometimes all you need is counselling, talking to somebody uninvolved with your problems can make things seem so much better. I hope you don't have to wait too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheeky Chooky Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Sounds like lots of little things are looking a lot more positive Onwards and upwards...a bit at a time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 A step in the right direction. Interesting that I was told I couldn't get counselling until I'd started the tablets - initially I asked if I could see a counsellor but she told me I had to see the doc first. But it sounds quite promising. Fingers crossed you will be bouncing above all the nasty bits and treat them with the contempt they deserve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovychook Posted November 22, 2012 Author Share Posted November 22, 2012 Interesting that I was told I couldn't get counselling until I'd started the tablets I was amazed that she agreed to it straight away. I know that it's one of the many areas where cuts are being made, so I'm very grateful. I'm sure that tablets are a cheaper option... She did say that because I've 'coped' with stuff for many years that I might only need a few sessions to help me to deal with things that have happened more recently. I hope I don't disappoint her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
