Show us your ChickenCams!

[Chickendoodle]

My YD was having a bit of a rant on Fb today and one of her comments was that it was a shame that society wasn't geared up for women staying at home to raise a family any more. It got me thinking that the economic reason for this is that we have much more stuff to buy nowadays which we consider to be essential and 2 salaries are needed for all this

 

I was born in 1959 , my Dad had a good job - middling white collar worker, and my Mum didn't work. We had a TV (3 channels), a radio, a telephone and a record player with about 10 single records.(I can still remember all the words to "she wears red feathers and a huli huli skirt ) We didn't have a washing machine until well into the 70's - Mum used a boiler washer and a mangle. I had probably 2 pairs of shoes at a time - school and casual, a school uniform and a few sets of clothes.

 

We always holidayed in a caravan in the UK. There was very little processed food available to buy - I remember spaghetti being very exotic - remember the really long folded double stuff? We had a decent car though as my Dad was always a bit obsessed with cars.

 

We had no central heating - I got dressed under the bedcovers in WInter and can remember frost on the inside of my window!!!

 

We always used the library

 

There was no children's TV apart from an hour before 6. I used to play patience, draw, play outside in the garden and I don't know what but I kept myself amused.

We were not poor - as I said Dad had a good job but there was simply nothing much to buy.

 

It would be interesting to work out how little we would spend if we didn't have all the things we now consider essential like mobile phones, computers, washing machines, dishwashers, foreign holidays, umpteen pais of shoes, clothes......

 

Not saying I want to go back to the 1960's but all this stuff to buy means that we have to earn more and more and need 2 salaries

[soapdragon]

I agree absolutely! Had a very similar upbringing - can remember chipping ice of the INSIDE of my bedroom windows in the mornings

 

I have been a stay at home mum and it has been a struggle (not looking for ANY sympathy - its been our decsision after all) and we have adjusted our expectations accordingly - one weeks self catering in Devon a year, no meals out, old banger on the drive etc - but don't regret it for a second!

 

I think its all about how much/little 'stuff' you want - sometimes less is more

[Luvachicken]

The trouble with today is that people seem to want everything now.

No one can have hand me downs or anything second hand.

 

When we moved into our first house, we were given an ancient 3 piece suit, we had a table made of floorboards which doubled as an ironing board, we used an old picnic table and chairs as our dining table set and had an old side board from a new neighbour that she was throwing out. That was all we had, we made do.

The only things we had new was our bed and a washing machine. And this was only in 1990.

 

People want their homes to be perfect straight away it seems to me, and people can't wait anymore.

[PurpleTree]

I'm a stay at home mum, I never really considered going back to work. We manage and my hubby is in no way a high earner. I'm quite happy to have second hand, I buy quite a lot in charity shops although these seem to be getting more expensive. Most of the boys are other people's hand downs or they're birthday/Christmas presents.

 

I think it all depends on your lifestyle before children. We were never particularly lavish, weren't in to clubbing or spending huge amounts on alcohol. Also what job you have. For me the job I had, if I went back to it, I would probably only be earning enough to cover childcare, so would've been pointless

[Chortle Chook]

I chose not to have children as, being the main earner in our wee household, I felt we could not afford for me to be a 'stay at home mum' like my mother was and like deep down I would like to have been. I do believe that somebody is needed at home to look after children, especially those uder 12 and am horrified at the government push to get women with children as young as 5 back onto the work conveyor belt to push out more 'stuff' so our GDP looks like it is going up (It makes me think of Victorians with their wet nurses and dubious child care)

 

At the time my choice was not governed by feeling I needed masses of 'stuff'. I don't need or have lots of pairs of shoes, I don't have lots of electronic gismos or watch a lot of TV, but I'd hate to go back to the sort of life that women lead in the programme 'The Village' I love my washing machine, my central heating, my vacuum cleaner, and even my mobile phone Also I do see that until there is real respect for women being women (as opposed to token men) we are mostly a lot safer if we can earn and manage our own money. Without that we risk being men's pets - horribly open to abuse; some will be loved and well treated, but too many will be kicked.

[freddie]

I've done both, well all of it really. I've kept myself, stayed at home with youngsters, until they started primary school, then worked 30 hrs paye, and set up and run our own business together, Now we are back to me working solely self employed, having given the paye up. with two teens. we work stupid hrs, (just finished now), but consider myself blessed to be able to take my dog with me to work, and be home for the teens , etc. We are not rich, but we are sensible.

[freddie]

And I'm getting 5 new to me ex batts next weekend!!(20th) just got to get the duck thing sorted!!

[patsylabrador]

I like this I wish id known about it a few years ago. I got fed up feeling as though I had to justify my choices and sometimes being treated as an object of pity, always being asked if I was bored and felt like a vegetable. It was always women that used to insinuate that as well which is why I used to avoid them. This forum has been a very good place to 'meet' ladies again. I was starting to feel like the only stayathome mum in the world!

[Chortle Chook]

Patsy, mothers at home do matter, whatever Cameron thinks

[Cinnamon]

I feel very fortunate that I was able to be a stay at home Mum until my youngest was 15, when I went & got a part time job.

I love my job now & couldn't imagine not working,but I also can't imagine having to work while my girls were small - I would have hated it,although I do understand that many either have no choice,or that is what they want.

I was TERRIFIED of going back to 'proper' work (I actually kept our business accounts for the years I was at home).

But all in all it has worked out well for us

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I went back to work part time when my youngest was 7 but only during school term time so was always there for them. No regrets about that all. We're not really gadget freaks and are quite happy to do second-hand.

 

The chairs in my dining room were given to me by a colleague when I was 24 (I'm now 50 ), our bed is more than 25 years old (we have had new mattresses!) and various other things have been around longer than my grown-up children.

[freddie]

Same here!! I really try not to do New, though the kids were new, and the dog, everything else is pretty much 2nd hand(except kettle/breadmaker, and the like, though microwave was a given, pre loved!!)

[C&T]

I wish we had the option of me not working, rather than relying on nurseries. For reference, she does really enjoy nursery, but we could not afford for me to be a stay at home mum. (Nor my OH a stay at home dad.)

 

We certainly don't buy lots of "things". Don't buy lots of clothes, or any gadgets, have just then one car, and holidays have been cottages in the UK for a week - so not exactly extravagant!

 

I'm hoping once little ones start school, I will be in a position to be able to amend hours etc to be able to collect from school at least some days a week - but we will see what happens...

 

Stay at home mums are woefully underestimated in my opinion! Not at all criticising parents that both work full time - just wish there was a choice.

[soapdragon]

But surely that's what its all about - CHOICE! We should all be in a position to be able to make that choice - albeit a difficult one and one that involves sacrifices. Its very sad that women are pressured into going back to work in order to maintain an acceptable, sometimes even basic standard of living.

 

Everything is so expensive now - we would love to have had children earlier than ES at 39 and YS at 43 (having lost three babies in between) but could not afford for me to stop working sooner as I knew I wanted to 'be there' for as long as possible. It makes me cross that the media accuse older mothers of concentrating on their careers and putting motherhood off when its often the case that couples are saving up so that Mum can stay at home for the first few years! {Climbs off soapbox}