Nicola O Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? I do this all the time. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVOURITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. Nicola Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 (edited) I totally agree with these!!!! what about.. why is there only one monopolies commission? why is abbreviation such a long word? Edited August 22, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Very good karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 How true! Especially the fridge one! And the hoover one! Mrs B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starboyhull Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 How true! Especially the fridge one! And the hoover one! Mrs B I do both of those too lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoid Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the stuff that the indestructible black box is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? I dont know but i think we need some! Any offers anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperman Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Why isn't Phonetic spelt the way it sounds? Where do flies go in the winter? If moths like light so much why don't they come out during the day? What's another word for Thesaurus? If Russia attacked Turkey from behind would Greece help? Why does you washer bottle always run dry when your windscreen is filthy? Kev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach chick Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 the bubblebath thing is a constant disappointment to me... how come you only ever see one shoe on the side of the road? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Why is monosyllabic such a long word? How does the man who drives the snowplough get to work? Why is the word 'Quim' displayed so prominently on British passports? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
