Cube mk2 and WIR

[lisa33]

 

 

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed

2. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning to you’

3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, ‘I just called to say I can’t talk right now, bye’

4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace….!

5. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”

6. Walk sideways to the photocopier

7. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open

8. Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him double- barreled fingers

9. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”

10. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)

11. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle ( there must be a ‘non player’ within sight)

12. Shout random numbers while someone is counting

13. At the end of a meeting suggest that for once it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself)

14. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

15. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob”

16. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go and do a number two”

17. After every sentence, say, ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “The report’s on your desk, Mon’. Keep this up for 1 hour

18. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator

19. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”

20. At lunch time, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!”

21. In a colleague’s day planner, write in the 10 am slot: “See how I look in tights” (5 extra points if it is male and 5 more if its your boss)

22. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”

23. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that? What? Never mind, its gone now.”

24. Come to work in military/army fatigue and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it now”

25. Speak with an accent (French, German whatever) during an important conference call.

26. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk

27. Hang a 2 inch long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out

 

28. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

 

AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU, HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:

 

29. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go”

 

30. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with it.

 

31. Put your waste basket on your desk and label it “IN”

 

32. Finish all your sentences with “…in accordance with the prophecy...”

 

33. Don’t use any punctuation.

 

34. Use, too…much; punctuation.

 

35. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 

36. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

 

37. Sing along at the Opera.

 

38. Put mosquito netting around your work area during office hours.

 

39. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you are not in the mood.

 

40. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! 3rd time this week!!!

 

41. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives, they are loose!”

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity….

 

15. Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you, or have asked you not to send them stuff like this….

[moochoo]

I like no.41

I could add one to the list that I use occasionally in bad restaurants. If I order a steak and the waiter/waitress brings you a seperate steak knife I say " Sorry, I'm not allowed a sharp knife in the conditions of my release!"

Thy never know quite how to take it, but the service improves

[lisa33]

[Mel (& Paul)]

Brilliant

[Chocobo]

they're great

[fairy&cake]

let us know if any of you carry out these! And what yout Boss says?

 

My old boss was a idiot. He had no humour and insisted all the women wore short skirts.

 

FILTH!

[lisa33]

Appalling.

 

I would have been sacked straight away. I only ever wear trousers in the office!!!

 

[Mel (& Paul)]

Sometimes I ring the office and say "is Jan (or whoever there) - when they say "yes, do you want to speak to her?" I say no, just wanted to see if she is there and put the phone down

well, they always say little things please little minds

[lisa33]

When I was working in a little corner shop many years ago, my lodger phoned and asked if I was there. My boss said 'yes thanks' then put the phone down.

 

I was in stitches.

 

Like you said small things and small minds

[Louise]

I am tempted to add number 21 to the shared area calendar as I am the only female and the tasks listed have initials next to them to show who is supposed to action the job I could list all of the blokes in the department including my boss

 

Question is am I brave enough

[Snowy]

Those are funny!

My OH is a monkey when it comes to ringing me at work. When I was a ward staff nurse he rang, got the ward clerk and asked to speak to me. She said "who shall I say is calling?" He replied: "Her lover" I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or her!

[xraylady]

Appalling.

 

I would have been sacked straight away. I only ever wear trousers in the office!!!

 

 

ooohhh!!!! you saucy thing!!!

[lisa33]

Appalling.

 

I would have been sacked straight away. I only ever wear trousers in the office!!!

 

 

ooohhh!!!! you saucy thing!!!

 

 

I spent ages wording that in different ways so it wouldn't come out saucy.

 

[Mel (& Paul)]

You will never get away with double entendre on this forum

[The Dogmother]

I work in an office full of men, so they're alwasy trying something on... the other day it was a vote to decide whether I was wearing any panties under my white linen trousers! Good job I've got a thick skin

 

Louise.. go for it!!!!

[Mel (& Paul)]

! Good job I've got a thick skin

 

 

Is that why they couldnt tell about your pants

[The Dogmother]

Thanks Mel

[Mel (& Paul)]

You are entirely welcome

[craftyhunnypie]

Claret - you know what you should do - wear some knickers that are like invisible, what I mean by that is ones that they couldn't tell you were wearing, then wear a black thong over the top & then your linen trousers! That would teach them! Naughty aren't they!

I used to work with all men & they were right saucy devils!

 

Emma.x

[chickenlass]

Gosh ...is this what happens to you if you work in an office?

I'm so glad I have a nice "outside" job with cats and chickens....they always agree with everything I say and the men with white overcoats haven't had come aroundhere for ages now.

[Mel (& Paul)]

Yup

Dont work in an office unless you really have to.

I would much rather be out all day with the chooks, dogs and horse - they are far more agreeable than most of my work colleagues

[The Dogmother]

Claret - you know what you should do - wear some knickers that are like invisible, what I mean by that is ones that they couldn't tell you were wearing, then wear a black thong over the top & then your linen trousers! That would teach them! Naughty aren't they!

I used to work with all men & they were right saucy devils!

 

Emma.x

 

Knickers???

[Mel (& Paul)]

Now Clare

Just so you know

SOME women like to wear underwear - you know, just in case they get knocked over by a bus - not everyone goes commando

[theherd123]

I like no.41

I could add one to the list that I use occasionally in bad restaurants. If I order a steak and the waiter/waitress brings you a seperate steak knife I say " Sorry, I'm not allowed a sharp knife in the conditions of my release!"

Thy never know quite how to take it, but the service improves

 

I could tell you some stories about this one but i wont!

 

[Lesley]

Ah, go on!!!!!!!!

 

and No. 12 is downright cruel