Storms and chickens

[CatsCube]

Something got me thinking this week about how people send out the obligatory chrstmas cards, even when they are to people they never normally talk to anymore. If your someone who has a christmas card list like this, I ask you to spare some time going through it to see who you really consider to be friends, and maybe give them a call this christmas instead and say hello, or if its someone you really dont see the point in staying in touch with, cross them off the list and save a stamp.

 

The reason I say this is for the second year running we have recieved in the post a christmas card to the previous occupant of this house who has been dead now for 2 years! Very sad that they make the effort of a christmas card each year but obviously have no contact with any of the family to know this.

[Ziggy]

I agree with this... we still get the odd xmas card for the previous owners, who moved away more than five years ago...

 

One day I came home to find a little plant in a pot by the front door, was rather puzzled and took it in wondering where it'd come from, then two days later a lady came to the door looking a little pieved that I wasn't who she expected, asking me what had happened to 'Gay' and when I told her Gay had moved away three years before she coldly asked me for her plant back!!! Which obviously I didn't mind giving back to her, but I found her attitude was a bit rough and rude considering it's not my fault if she hadn't kept track of where her 'dear friend' was (this is especially relevant considering the lady who used to own my house was ill with cancer, and sadly, I believe, died not long ago)...

 

Now when I get mail for the previous owners I have to just return or get rid of it, as they have moved again and I do not have a forwarding address... My husband felt bad about me throwing away their xmas cards last year, but my point is, if people don't know they've moved years ago, and I don't have a forwarding address, I'm not going to be the one feeling bad about it.

[Guest]

I think part of the trouble is that Christmas is such a busy time. When you receive a card with a change of address, it is very easy not to transfer the address to your records. Once the season is over, it is unfortunately forgotten. I try very hard to be meticulous in my record-keeping at this time because it makes it so much easier next year. Even things like adding the new baby's name - because by next year you definitely won't be sure if it is Emma or Emily!

 

I have lots of people I only send Christmas cards to, never speak to them, but we do exchange news and I do like to keep in touch. Each year a few get crossed off, but others get added. I don't send cards to people I will be seeing anyway. But I do send a lot, more than anyone else I've met!

[Guest]

neither of us do Christmas cards for work colleagues, you end up going back in the New Year to see little piles of unopened cards on people's desk so we don't bother.

 

Neighbours, we tend to drop one in to immediate neighbours and if any of the other neighbours send one, we send one back. It does irritate me when you get cards saying 'to no. -- from no. 64' etc etc put your name on it!??- why bother, so impersonal and soulless?

 

I also don't like getting cards which have obviously been speedily written either. I always tailor the greeting to the person I'm sending it to.

 

I got a card from an internet, poet friend this year that said "May the poetry force be with you, have a cluckin' good christmas!" I loved it and it meant so much more than some homogeneous message.

 

Next door but one have sent us a card for a few years addressed to the house number and not our names, despite us sending one back every year with our names on it!!!

 

Then we send cards to immediate family and friends that we actually keep in touch with.

 

I don't see the point of sending cards out willy nilly, waste of time, waste of paper, waste of money.

 

Then there's the problem of what do you do with the things! Ours usually just end up in a pile on the bookshelf Must make an effort to display them somewhere this year.

[chickencam]

I have received a Christmas card from someone I used to work with before I had the children and every year we just write a little note inside our cards to bring each other upto date. I have not seen her since my daughter's 1st Christmas but I love receiving her card every year. Having said that if she sent me a change of address I would endeavour to write it straight into my address book. Maybe we will even get together this year

[Guest]

OK what annoys me is this.

 

Last year Mum and I moved into a house together - she lives in the granny annexe and is totally self contained. So why do people (including family) send one card to both of us??? We are not a couple, they have seen our living arrangements and we send our cards seperately. I find it ill mannered that we do not receive the same courtesy in return.

 

To top that one we received a card yesterday (to all of us) from my cousin and his wife (the ones who dont want to spend christmas with us) which was addressed from both them and THEIR SON AND HIS FIANCEE. They don't live together - they don't even live in the same county so why a joint Christmas card???? Between them they have had 4 cards from us and we've had one back. Rude I call it.

 

Oh and I was already a bit steaming with them because they sent James a Christmas present in the post. Now this was a reasonably large parcel, far too big to go through the letter box and they posted it FIRST CLASS on a Friday. Of course on the Saturday morning the postman rings the bell, James comes rushing to the door with me and the postman says "oh I've got a parcel for you James". So now I've got a 5 year old who keeps asking for his parcel!!!! A little thought would have told them it would be best to send it on a Monday.

 

Ooooh sorry for the rant!

[Guest]

just tell him santa's got it at the moment!

[Ziggy]

Oh dear... I must admit that, even with four kids of my own, I would never have thought to check what day I'm sending anything in the post... I have ordered many of the girls presents online too, and that too arrives at any time, including Saturday, and I just tell them they're for me and to do with Xmas, except any family or friend gifts to them, which they can open straight away without waiting till xmas day (I find they fuss more and remember the present more when they open it when they get it, than at the same time as their other presents on the day)...

 

I know what it's like with the family cards though... we have a cousin who systematically puts her cards into her parents' envelopes so as not to have to pay for the stamp... in itself there is nothing wrong with that, but my view is, once you're all grown up and move away, and write your own cards, you don't bring them to mummy and daddy so they enclose them in their own card... maybe I'm just being mean... it's just not something I'd ever consider doing...

I like cards but this year, in an effort to be environmentally friendly, for the first time I have sent many by email... my cards are home-made from a recent picture of my kids, so for grandparents and anyone whom I know would keep the card as a pic of the kids, I send a hard copy, and same for everyone who doesn't have email, but everyone else is getting an email copy of the same greeting and picture... I keep raving on about having to be greener, so thought I had to make an effort here too, and I'm glad I did considering the huge pile of card we got so far (not possible to display them all)...

I also broke tradition at school... many kids give each child in their class a card. I am not saying it's bad, I realise it's cute, but to me it's a bit unnecessary... I have now three, soon to be four, daughters in school, and so far we got 75 cards just from their school friends... I find it doesn't fit with the school's green promises...

 

As to friends/old acquaintances, I try to decide whether to keep or delete them from my xmas list by how I feel when I think of them... if the memory/thoughts are fond and I wish to hear from them, they stay on, if I only send a card cause I feel they might send one, or simply out of habit, with no feeling whatsoever, I delete them. It's not that I'm trying to be mean, but some people from the past really don't mean anything whatsoever to me any longer, and I find I shouldn't pretend otherwise just cause it's Xmas... on the other hand, if people feel like staying in touch and enjoy hearing from each other, even just once a year, then I don't think they should stop...

[CatsCube]

ha ha ha yeah I must admit that it would never occur to me either to send a parcel on a day that wouldnt hit the weekend.

 

My Inlaws (same ones who bought the inaproprite gift for Noah) Sent a Christma scard in th post to me and OH and a seperate one for Noah with stickers inside, now not only did they miss out one for Dylan (have they forgotten they have 2 grandkids) but they sent the exaclt same multipack card to each of us, quite why they didnt just send one to the family and inclose teh stickers in that I dont know. Also yesterday I got my christmas present from them (book voucher) in the post, it was sent in a normal envelope with no notice on it, or inside another envelope saying to wait untill the 25th before opening, so I have now opened it without realising.

[Olly]

oh come on and lighten up a bit, you lot! cards are fun - I get ones from people I haven't sent one to (slightly guilty feeling ) and I send cards to people and don't get one in return - I don't really count it up. I often have trouble remembering people's partner's names, or their children - if in doubt, I'd rather have a card from 'no. 64' than not have one at all.

 

I am still corresponding with a friend whom I know I have not seen since I moved from the East Midlands ten years ago. I love hearing her news and seeing photos of her family, and last year I said 'I know it's been a long time, but please keep sending your round-robin letter'. Christmas is a time when we reach out and touch people whom we don't see often, or at all - if that's the only way of doing it, then it's ok by me.

 

I do agree with the original post in this thread, though - when you are going through your address book, don't just address a card, ring someone up or send them an email. They will be delighted to hear from you (wouldn't you be, if they rang you?)

[Guest]

ha ha ha yeah I must admit that it would never occur to me either to send a parcel on a day that wouldnt hit the weekend.

 

 

what an ungrateful l(and thoughtless) lot we are!

 

I think a nicer tradition to start, instead of giving cards to neighbours, would be for all the neighbours to stand on their doorstep at a certain time on Christmas Eve and just wish as many people as they could see, a Merry Christmas then go back in the house.

 

I live in cloud cuckoo land though!

[Guest]

 

if in doubt, I'd rather have a card from 'no. 64' than not have one at all.

 

 

did they forget their own names then?

 

My point is, fair enough if they don't know your name but they could at least put their names on the card!

 

you can just imagine them sitting there with writer's cramp, putting the same message in every card.

[Shirl]

I lived in a house where the previous occupant had died. We kept getting xmas cards for him but we had no way of letting them know he was gone. It was so sad .

 

On the positive I gave my cleaner a BHWT card, she called me later once she'd opened it to say it was the loveliest xmas card she had ever received and that she would keep it once xmas was over

[Guest]

I've always been a really independent thinker and long, long ago decided I would send cards to people I want to send cards to. I don't even notice if they don't send to me - that is totally irrelevant. In the same vein, I don't send cards to people just because they sent one to me. The sentiment would be rather superficial.

 

But I too get annoyed about things. This year we have received a card from OH's brother's mother-in-law, which we do every year. The difference is that this year she has put their names on it as well. So OH's brother has got his mother-in-law to send us a card on his behalf We're not impressed at all. And the message is very loud and clear - "you're not at all important to us"!

[The Dogmother]

*tuts*

 

Bit like the one i mentioned on here - my uncle who lives abroad - his wife always refers to Phil as 'Neil' in their card - I've been with Phil for 5 years now, and the cards are always signed quite clearly with his name!

[Cinnamon]

.........and I am always either SARA or even SARHA in the card the MIL send me.

I have been married to her son for 19 years

[CatsCube]

My OHs Dads partner (thats a mouthfull) has always called Noah 'Nor' like the stock cubes. It really does my head in but its a bit akward to say anything. I have just decided that when he finaly decided to start talking Im going to teach her that her name is Fish (its Trish) and see what she thinks.

[Guest]

.........and I am always either SARA or even SARHA in the card the MIL send me.

I have been married to her son for 19 years

 

after having been with my OH for about 15 years or so (this was a few years ago), my MIL's brother referred to me as 'that tall girl'. Nice!

 

He said to my MIL, "Is Ian still going out with that tall girl?". He had been living with me for about 12 years at that time!

 

I don't see reciprocal card giving as superficial BTW, I wouldn't want that person to think we'd received their card and thought nothing more about it. Having said that, I only do it if their card has been sent with thought, i.e. not signed "from no. 64" They wouldn't miss my card anyway!

[bronze]

I like to think I'm green as I don't do Christmas cards. Truth is I'm far too disorganised and maybe a little lazy.

[Guest]

I like to think I'm green as I don't do Christmas cards. .

 

we don't normally to be honest, we usually give a donation to charity instead. However this year we bought BHWT cards because we wanted to do a bit extra for the charity AND raise a bit of awareness (hopefully).

 

I'm hoping the receivers will recycle the cards

[Ziggy]

Reading this thread makes me think there are lots of ways to be nice, and it's quite heartwarming really...

Some of us don't send cards to some people cause we feel it's superficial after a while and prefer xmas cards to be heartfelt...

Some of us (and the categories here can overlap) love to hear from far friends even if just once a year

Some try to be green and don't do cards or do e-cards

Some buy cards from good causes...

 

The list could go on... makes me think, as long as the thought or aim is right, there is no wrong way to do it... I shall try to think of people's aim or thought rather than my own interpretation of it when considering what they are doing, cause maybe what I take as wrong is actually done with a good thing in mind (maybe my cousin sending her card in her parents envelope feels like being green and saving envelopes??... okie maybe a bit optimistic, but one never knows)...

 

Happy Xmas everyone

[Mrs Frugal]

I don't see reciprocal card giving as superficial BTW, I wouldn't want that person to think we'd received their card and thought nothing more about it.

 

I feel like that too. If someone's taken the time to write a card to me, I always think that the least I can do is send one back, even if I'd not originally thought of them when writing my cards out. I'd hate to hurt someone's feelings by ignoring them when they'd thought about me, even if I'm just someone on their list.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I pruned my card list a couple of years ago. I reckon if they or I have been writing for more than a few years "we must meet up this year" and we haven't managed it yet or even spoken to each other, we're obviously not that bovvered.

 

I've received two already this year from people I've not sent to. Slight guilty feeling but resisting the urge to send one back. It wouldn't exactly be heartfelt .

[Cate in NZ]

I quite like sending and receiving cards, I do find the task of writing them becomes a bit tedious, and I do agree with all those of you whose children exchange cards with every child in their class. Fortunately we're past that stage now, but I remember groaning when we had around 60 cards from school friends to accomodate on my already overcrowded mantlepiece .

 

We recieve an annual card from an ex-boyfriend of mine and his family. I have been married to hubby for 21 years now, so must have split with Neil about 23 years ago, and haven't seen him since in so far as I remember. Problem is I lost his address a few years ago - a new address book disaster- hubby chucked away the old one before I'd quite finished copying out all the old addresses, and I lost all my W & Y contacts (I don't think I knew any Z's ). Anyway Neil's a W. Now that we're moving I really don't want him to keep sending them, pretty sad to have cards keep arriving after you've moved on, but I can't work out how to contact him. Any of you in Sheffield know a Neil W?

[Shirl]

I don't live in Sheffield and don't know any Neils either