Single hen

[Lesley]

In my Inbox today

 

13 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

 

1. NAMES:

 

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

 

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and S"Ooops, word censored!"py.

 

 

2. EATING OUT:

 

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a 20, even though it's only for 32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

 

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

 

3. MONEY:

 

A man will pay £ 2 for a £ 1 item he needs

 

A woman will pay £ 1 for a £ 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 

 

4. BATHROOMS:

 

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

 

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

 

 

5. ARGUMENTS:

 

A woman has the last word in any argument.

 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

 

6. CATS:

 

Women love cats.

 

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

 

 

7. FUTURE:

 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

 

8. SUCCESS:

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

 

9. MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

 

 

10. DRESSING UP:

 

A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.

 

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

 

11. NATURAL:

 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

 

12. OFFSPRING:

 

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

 

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

 

13. FINAL THOUGHT:

 

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

 

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

 

I have to disagree with No. 11 - I go to bed looking as rough as when I wake up next morning

[Mrs Frugal]

How true they all are!!

[The Dogmother]

That's so right Lesley

[Lesley]

You haven't seen me first thing in the morning Clare

[Guest]

Really Good

[Cinnamon]

Thats really good.

Both funny & true

[SarahJo]

good one.

[Guest]

in my email box today (from the missus)...

 

If women ruled the world...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phil

[buffie]

All really good

 

BBx

[Cinnamon]

All good Phil,

With the exception of the parking space one

 

Women are MUCH better parkers (& drivers) than men

[Guest]

they might be better (safer?) drivers - but they're not (on the whole) better parkers... - it's to do with spacial awareness or summat - I saw a program on it once, so it must be true!

 

Phil

[Cinnamon]

Hmmmm, well, I will leave this for all the other forum users to debate & we shall see shall we

 

Come on girls,what do you think.

Are we better parkers???

 

Mind you my MIL won't park unless there is a double space "just in case"......

[Nicola H]

All very funny................

 

I am not too bad at parking and reversing into spaces but I have seen some terrible attempts at parking usually by women out side the school, I call it people carrier syndrome.

[Cinnamon]

Ha!

Yes - well named Nicola

 

There is one woman at our school who cannot reverse.She just can't ,or is very stupid & stubborn & won't.

The school is on the bus route & naturally the bus arrives at 3.40 just when everyone is trying to get home.

Its a narrow road too,so its often chaos.

The great big people carriers certainly don't help matters

 

Also,if a woman is driving the bus drivers are often quite itimidating,much more than they would be to a man I am sure

[Hellcat]

OF COURSE women are better drivers. Better, safer and slower. (bring it on, big boys!!)

 

parking..... I am great at parallel parking. I learned to drive in the east end of London and by God, you have to be great at parking to get the car parked anywhere there. can get a Jeep Cherokee in a space most people use for a Mini.

 

However.... there are a lot of women out there who drive huge cars and haven't got a clue how to park. Give us all a bad name.

 

And another thing... men have far more accidents than women. Statistic of some police area or other.

 

Contentious? Me? Surely not.

[Louise]

I often try to get an empty space or pavement on my passengers side but that is because anything I buy that is big needs to go on the seat as my boot is tiny if there is another parked car I have to reverse out to do this

[Guest]

OF COURSE women are better drivers. Better, safer and slower. (bring it on, big boys!!)

 

parking..... I am great at parallel parking. I learned to drive in the east end of London and by God, you have to be great at parking to get the car parked anywhere there. can get a Jeep Cherokee in a space most people use for a Mini.

 

 

I don't doubt it helen - I'm sure you're an ace parker of the Cherokee..

 

and I wasn't disputing that women are better (safer) drivers (I might on another occasion - men drive many more miles than wmen - and consequently have more accidents. They also drive more dangerously - but stats suggest that women are catching up very fast as they drive further and "ape" men's bad habits.)

 

However - men on the whole (of course there are individual exceptions) are better at parking because men are better at spatial awareness tasks. That's why men (on average) perform much better in tasks such as landing a plane (in a flight simulator), parking a car and in sports that don't depend on mere strength, like snooker.

 

Phil

[The Dogmother]

Don't start me on a rant about that Phil

 

I think I am a good driver (and am thinking of doing my advanced motorist test). My big van is easy peasy to park - it has corners like a shed and great big windows.

 

How's the new car Lesley?

[Hellcat]

Oh dear revnev, you do pick 'em!

 

I was the local pool champ and used to be a 'ringer' in the non-local pubs. Took a barrel of cash from men who thought women had no spatial awareness.

 

Sign of a VERY mis-spent youth!

 

I'm not trying to be argumentative (who, me? ) but I think most women would take issue with the 'men are better' argument.

 

Me, personally, I'll have a heated debate any day, as long as no one gets upset!

[Richard T]

Never mind the old driving and parking arguments, who'd win a spider catching competition?

 

 

Richard T

[Guest]

yes helen - congrats on the pool finesse and the cherokee driving - any other hidden talents??

 

I'm sure you misuderstand me on purpose - just for the fun of debate..

 

I am not arguing that men are superior beings - just differently skilled. Others have issued the more blanket statement that women are "better drivers" and I have let it pass.

 

I happen to believe that men and women are equally good/bad drivers. (nearly every driver that I have met of ether gender reckons they are a good driver - including me!)

 

but - I think there are aspects of driving that men are better at and some aspects that women are better at.

 

I think women are generally better at taking prevailing road conditions into account - and noticing the world about them, and I believe that men are better at parking.

 

Most scientific studies that I have seen have shown that broadly speaking (and this applies to all I say - broadly speaking allows for exceptions!) men are better at spacial-awareness tasks than women. That doesn't make the male gender "better" - it's not a competition! - it just highlights one of the differences between men and women that make the world such an interesting place...

 

(oh - and fear not, I'm not likely to get upset anytime soon... I like a good debate..)

 

Phil

[Hellcat]

Oh, no question on that one - come out, come out all you men and exterminate the evil arachnids!

 

One competition you win hands down guys!

 

also rugby, footie, car washing, lawn mowing and, of course, eglu cleaning1 Hubbie so much better than me at that!

[Hellcat]

I'm sure you misuderstand me on purpose - just for the fun of debate..

 

(oh - and fear not, I'm not likely to get upset anytime soon... I like a good debate..)

 

Phil

 

Oh, you know me too well already!

[Guest]

 

I used to play pool for the King George in Leamington Spa. The only trouble was that my spacial awareness skills only revealed themselves to their full extent when I'd had 5 or 6 pints.. but after the 6th I was pretty darn good!

 

I was the Bill Werbeniuck (sp?) of the Pool world.

 

I don't think I could physically drink 6 pints now...

 

ahhhh - those student days (we're talking 20 years ago!)

 

Phil

[Lesley]

20 years ago? Leamington Spa? - probably bumped into each other at some time then Phil

 

........and........ I can park a car in most places and read a map (both at the same time sometimes )