Single hen

[AMO]

...like me

 

In preparation for the World Cup, the "offside rule" explained for women :

 

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

 

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

 

It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

 

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

 

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

 

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

 

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!

 

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

 

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE

Edited March 31, 2008 by Guest

[bronze]

See I didnt understand that but do grasp the basic offside rule

[xChicken04x]

Ahhhh, I get it now .

 

xx

[Paola]

[superjules]

Very funny.

 

Does anyone remember Garth Crooks trying to explain the offside rule to Mr Blobby? I had hoped to find it on youtube, but it's not there!

[Egluntyne]

You can't have two sons play football for years and not understand the offside rule!

 

That is very funny though Amo, and as clear an explanation as you are likely to get without using a salt cellar, a bottle of tomato ketchup and a sugar bowl!

[Janty]

That made me giggle.

[Ziggy]

I'm one of the hopeless cases who doesn't get it, but then to be fair everyone I've always asked comes up with a remarkably different theory... OH's definition of offside and my dad's definition of offside are about as similar as my vegetable curry is to my mushroom risotto... makes me wonder if a lot of people who think they've got it, actually don't have a clue... I also suspect some males around me to put things across in unnecessarily cryptic ways just so they can keep this mysterious 'we understand this, but you don't' aura...

 

So if I get it right, it's OK to be in front of the other shopper, but only once the purse is either :

- in my hands, or

- on a flight towards the space in front of the other shopper?

 

But if no purse is held or on its way, then I should stay behind said shopper?

 

Who on earth made those rules up??

 

Lovely way of trying to explain it by the way

[layla]

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH got it now

[Charlottechicken]

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH got it now

 

Me too!

 

Makes perfect sense

[Olly]

That is very funny, I didn't read this thread earlier because I thought it was going to be boring football stuff!

 

I did actually understand the offside rule (married to an ardent football supporter in my youth) but I suspect you are right, Ziggy, a lot of those who profess to know what it is, actually aren't too sure themselves and that is why they are so bad at explaining it!

 

That is a great description.

[Couperman]

I'm one of the hopeless cases who doesn't get it, but then to be fair everyone I've always asked comes up with a remarkably different theory...

 

 

You never said you were a referee!

 

Now it all comes down to who is 'active' ,if the girl at the front looks like she may be about to buy some slippers when the purse was delivered then she is cleary not active and not interfering with play, otherwise she may have to suffer a penalty.

 

This is of course different if you are shopping away from home at the Old Trafford Centre in Top Man Utd, then the locals can surround the referee at the checkout intimidate her/him and no such penalties will be issued.

 

Hope this clears things up.

 

 

Kev.

[lisa33]

I don't get this one but soo get the real one.

 

Had a huge debate with a 'birds don't get footie' Tottenham supporting landlord of a pub in Hitchin and upset him with my knowledge!!

[Olly]

I have absolutely no interest in football, it brings back too many unhappy memories, but it does annoy me that so many blokes adopt that attitude about women not really understanding it.

 

good for you!

[hillfamily]

it's as clear as mud now..........but at least I'm sitting here smiling