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Guest revnev

Phil - asking for a slap!

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Just a reminder:


Important advice to all women is the list Of Rules During World Cup.


1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the

newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the

World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you

fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally

ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.


2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any

exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you

will lose it (your eye).


3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't

mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.


4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a

refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you

expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or

pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.


5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the

fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and

please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day. This rule however is discretionary. (please refer to rule 2)


6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my

teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,

they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me

angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce (not necessarily in that order).


7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk

to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the

halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying

"one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to

"spend time together".


8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I

have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.


9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related

parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.


10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to

watch a game, we will be there in a flash.


11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as

important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying

"but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to

something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".


12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the

World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.





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:lol: Luckily that isn't a problem here, as Shep is less interested in it than any man on earth probably.

However, I called to my son before I went out, "What time are you working tomorrow?"

"They're winning one nil at the moment" came the reply..(I thought I was the weird one)

"who are?" :?


"Oh, who are they playing?"


"Oh, but I asked you what time you're working tomorrow!"

"Oh, 10.30"


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Where did that sketch come from....'whip me, whip me, call me Barbara'?


(not OUR Barbara of course :oops: ) It wasn't Monty Python.



Did you ever remember? I'm intrigued!



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