Snowy Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on....... Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Those are fantastic . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Brilliant Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I love these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I love 'em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlo Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Fantasic and so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardene5 Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Excellent now can you answer them all........................ Answers on a post card to this address Pub Quiz PO Box !!**?? 1 Nonsense Avenue Culdisac Best regards Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Even had DH laughing out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Love them! but surely No! Twinkle Twinkle and The Alphabet Song don't have the same tune?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..lay a little egg for me Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Love them!but surely No! Twinkle Twinkle and The Alphabet Song don't have the same tune?? They do the way my DS sang them when he was in kindergarten...perhaps the tune has changed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Love them!but surely No! Twinkle Twinkle and The Alphabet Song don't have the same tune?? They do the way my DS sang them when he was in kindergarten...perhaps the tune has changed? They do, I've just sat at my desk and sung them!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Tarpey Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
