Nicola O Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8 ) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but "Ooops, word censored!"ody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . having friends. At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence. At age 35 success is . . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants. Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh. Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Take the time to live!!! Life is too short. Dance naked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 An amusing start to the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 How true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamebird Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Very good. It made me smile and a bit of compensation for the wet and windy weather I've got to battle against in a minute to feed the animals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 so very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillus Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Good to bring a smile to my face. Apparently it is the most depressing day of the year today so I'm determined to be happy Happy Monday everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janty Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Very good, I like it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Very good, but I will def not going to dance naked! A sight too horrific for even me to imagine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Very good. A bit cold for dancing naked here though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
