Chicken bald back

[stoice]

Tony the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens (pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs.

 

Tony kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so that Tony could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

 

Farmer Tony's favourite rooster was old Gordon, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Tony noticed that old Gordon's bell hadn't rung at all!!

 

Tony went to investigate.

 

All the other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Tony's amazement, Gordon had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do the business and walk on to the next one.

 

Tony was so proud of Gordon, he entered him into the County Fair and Gordon became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was that the judges not only awarded Gordon the No Bell Peace Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

 

Clearly Gordon was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and 'doing' them when they weren't paying attention.

Edited January 21, 2009 by Guest

[bluekarin]

I like that, very funny!

[BarbaraJ]

very good

[poachedegg]

[fowlbird]

Love it!

[Seagazer]

Very good

[stoice]

Thanks. I have another farm related one now but sadly not chicken related...

 

A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his Cows frozen solid.

As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.

 

It had been a bitterly cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen.

 

The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?

 

He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty. Just then, an elderly woman walked by, 'What's the matter?' asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.

 

Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.

 

One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.

 

The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field.

 

A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer. 'You know who that was don't you?' asked the passer-by.

 

'No' said the farmer 'who is she?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Wait for it)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'That was Thora Hird.'

[Seagazer]

Thankfully I had wasn't eating or drinking anything because my screen would have been splattered!! Very funny

[Egluntyne]

I was....there are baguette crumbs everywhere.

[Chook n Boo Mum]

Nearly choked on my flapjack!

 

Sha x

[Snowy]

Loved it!

[chickencam]

That's one of my OH's favourite jokes

[Chickvic]

I liked both

[Helly Welly]

They were both fantastic, i really needed that