Guest Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? What is the speed of darkness? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Do you cry under water? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . . Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window and loves it? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake upevery two hours? It always happens. Whenever you discuss something, it always comes up within the next few days, when you've never talked about it before. Then you read about it in the sunday papers. I can't beleive you've bought this up Shona!! We came to the conclusion about this statement the other night (over a glass of wine or two) that it is valid. When babies do go to sleep, they sleep so deeply, that you can vacuum around them and they don't wake up. Only yesterday Stefan fell asleep in the shopping trolly at Sainsbury's. I did a full shop. Loaded the car. Transfered him to his car seat. Drove home. Put him in his cot and still he slept. Of course, there is no reference to the the length of time/predictability of sleeping like this! I'll go and read the rest of your post now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Very Good - Made me laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Brilliant - aint the world a strange place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beauty-Box Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Very Good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Wonderful Shona!! Love them ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 They're great, aren't they! All the better for being unanswerable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Very good karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Gave me a giggle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourfinches Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 We have a harvest supper and quiz at church tonight. I've to say a few words at the beginning. I'm very tempted to ask the question If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? but it would probably completely ruin my reputation! Morag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 ohh! Dare you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Really great!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
