Christian Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 These are supposedly genuine clips from council complaint letters: 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. 3. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my k"Ooops, word censored!" off. 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 6. .... and their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off. 8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path.My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and she is now pregnant. 11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen, 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are plain filthy. 12. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. 13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 14. Will you please send a man to look at my water.It is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 15. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 16. I want to complain about the farm across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up, and its getting too much for me. 17. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden which is unsightly and dangerous. 18. Our kitchen floor is damp.We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it. 19. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat, and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 20. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 21. I have had the Clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction. 22. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2. Christian x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Oh dear, now my sons want to know why I'm laughing with tears streaming down my face at the computer! Hilarious! Thanks Christian, I needed that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Loo Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Absolutely fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 You have made me really laugh (esp No. 17) on what has been a really pants day at work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Remind me to never trip on a garden path! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Weeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamsin Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 You have made me really laugh (esp No. 17) on what has been a really pants day at work! Same here that really made me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
