FoxFighters Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hi, Sometimes this forum needs a bit of cheering up. Post your jokes here and let others laugh at them. Holly x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henriette Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Q Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? A Too many cheetahs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the butter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurpleTree Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What's brown and sticky? A Stick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What's brown and sticky? A Stick Thats one of my personal favourites PT My all time favourite is.... Whats green and square? An orange in disguise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurpleTree Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What goes ha ha bonk? A man laughing his head off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I LOVE your jokes PT What do you call a man with a Seagull on his head? Cliff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henriette Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 How did the farmer fix his jeans With a cabbage patch (after that one, I'm going to make supper) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What do you call a woman with tables on her head? Cath (Caff) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What d'you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Sistermatic! BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What's brown and sticky? A Stick Thats MY joke! The kids are rather fed of my telling though. Not sure why What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 On the same vain... What do you call a spider with no legs? A Currant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What do baby Apes sleep in? Apricots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickweed Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 A dark haired man with a pigeon on his head went to see his doctor. The pigeon said "Can you remove this blackhead from my foot?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What do you call a man who lives between 2 houses Ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenNutter Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I bet it was poultry in motion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "You any idea how to drive this thing?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 A man walks into a bar..... it hurt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! What d'you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea What d'you call a man in a ditch full of leaves? Russell! BeckyBoo ps, my two favourite jokes of all time the brown sticky one and sheep with no legs one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dippy bird Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 a horse walks into a pub, the bar man asks "why the long face?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, two Rabbis, a talking dog and a Nun walk into a pub, and the barman asks, "Is this some kind of joke?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 OK, a longer one. Everyone knows of Mahatma Gandhi's brilliant successes, but there are a number of other things about the great man that are less well known. For instance, whilst he was well renowned for walking everywhere, often barefoot, the unsurprising corollary - that he ended up with foot problems - is usually overlooked. In fact, this nomadic lifestyle also meant irregular meals, this producing two problems of its own; poor health in later life and bad breath. Meaning, of course, that he ended up a...... ....wait for it.... ....you'll love this..... ..super calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis. OK, I'll get my coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 .super calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis. OK, I'll get my coat. TA DAAAAAHHH!!! brilliant!! BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 One of the traditions thrown up by a heavily nautical history can be seen on the East coast of Scotland. It seems there's a yearly contest to see how many fish - in this case, tench - can be consumed by a person in a given amount of time. The popularity of this competition has widened with the regular visits of Nordic fishing fleets, so in recent years it really has become a multinational affair. Not so long ago, a particularly closely fought contest developed between a local lad - Donald Hicks, from Fife - and Sven Anderssen from Norway. It was neck and neck until Donald lost a tooth and had to withdraw, leaving Sven to go on and win with a tally of nine fish consumed. The headline the following day in the local Observer read.... One tooth free for Fife's Hicks; Sven ate nine tench. Badoom, tsh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
