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[craftyhunnypie]

I've given my opinion & I'm staying out out of this now - I think it could get a bit personal & heated in here.

 

Emma.x

[Tiggy]

this one could get very heated, Pat seems upset about the 'gift' and none of us know the background or relationship she has with her step daughter so perhaps I'll just say this. Maybe the choice was thoughtless if you were the only one to recieve a charity gift, but perhaps she knew that you liked to support good causes and thought that you would like it. See what happens this year, if it is going to be a reoccuring theme then maybe it is worth having a friendly chat to let her know what charities you support. Lets face it life is too short to get into a family tussel over christmas presents.

[Lesley]

Lets face it life is too short to get into a family tussel over christmas presents.

 

It certainly is.

I think all the comments are valid and don't see why it should turn into anything heated.......... healthy debate is no problem?

[bronze]

I love to get charity gifts

my dh hates it

 

I don't make assumptions that we should get presents from anyone

he complains if someone forgets him

 

Christmas presents are about giving not receiving so if someone has given thats enough for me

[Chickendoodle]

All of the various points of view are really interesting. I have come to the conclusion that I have a problem with the intent behind the gift and not the idea of the charity gift as such.

 

My stepdaughter is a very difficult person (not just my opinion but my OH thinks this as well, probably to a greater extent than I do) That would be a whole different thread and not one to explore here! Her intent would sadly have been of a self centred nature.

 

The charities we support are medical research (Parkinsons & heart disease/diabetes which caused the deaths of my parents), the local wildlife trust, air ambulance, lifeboats (due to living in a seaside town) & the Dogs Trust which are all a million miles away from a well in Africa. Each to his own as to which charities you support and I am sure I would have not felt the same negative reaction if a donation had been given to one of "my" charities.

 

I really appreciate all of the different viewpoints on this site and you all are generally very polite about disagreeing!

[Guest]

.....

My stepdaughter is a very difficult person (not just my opinion but my OH thinks this as well, probably to a greater extent than I do) That would be a whole different thread and not one to explore here! Her intent would sadly have been of a self centred nature.

 

...

 

what a shame, i think you'll just have to send her nut roast to the third world!

 

Sorry, joking aside, don't let it spoil your Christmas, on the bright side at least someone has benefited from her gift even if it's not you, hope you can still have a lovely Christmas x

[fluffyfeet]

SIL and her hubby bought us a box of Marks and Spencer shortbread and a donkey sponsorship for a year last year.

 

Love shortbread and have visited a donkey sanctuary so sort of appreciated this too.

 

However, on a previous occasion we got a bottle of wine - which was nice, and........ drum roll.........wait for it.......a lottery ticket.

 

We don't play the lottery. OH hates and detests it.

 

I put a lot of thought into things I buy for people and I love it when they say 'wherever did you find this' or 'how did you know'.

 

We aren't difficult to buy for either!

[laurmurf]

oh fluffy - if only you'd won the jackpot, that would have set the hares running!

[docsquid]

All of the various points of view are really interesting. I have come to the conclusion that I have a problem with the intent behind the gift and not the idea of the charity gift as such.

 

I got that feeling, reading through this thread - and obviously you know the intent behind the gift, and the relative lack of thought that went into it.

 

Hugs, and hope you don't let it spoil your Christmas!

[bronze]

re my post

in your position I would feel miffed too if I knew why it had been done and wasn't just because someone knew I would appreciate it

[Valkyrie]

As we were all the recipient of one of these gifts one year, the amount spent was in excess of the amount usually spent on us - would rather have had a daft little keyring tbh. Especially as it went to a charity that I have no time for (cash given probably went to the director's big fat Christmas bonus) - left me feeling a bit cross - I would rather have been asked first as to what charity I would like my gift directed to.

[Cooks]

I think I would be a bit miffed too really, especially as you have charities that are special to you and that you support, it isn't hard to know these details, she could have just asked during a conversation sometime.

 

I wouldn't mind the present IF the charity was well thought out and if it would be a charity I would have given to myself. There are a few I wouldn't as I do not like their policies.

[Redwing]

Just to answer a previous query - my friend works for 'Send a Cow' who specialise in 'donated' livestock and agricultural gifts to Africa

 

The people in Africa DO get the gifts that are bought with peoples donations and benefit greatly from them they also get training in how to look after their animals and are checked to ensure they are doing ok (obviously I can't speak for other charities though)

 

Its a wonderful gift to give its a cliche but it really is the gift that keeps on giving

 

We have enough 'things' in our lives as it is

 

In this situation however it would seem that the person has different motives for sending it which is a great shame and yes I think its reasonable to be annoyed

[PapaJuliet]

Just to answer a previous query - my friend works for 'Send a Cow' who specialise in 'donated' livestock and agricultural gifts to Africa

 

I've sent charity gifts to my ex-in-laws for the last 2 years. It was partly because I couldn't think what to get them (it would be easier to buy for MIL only than them both, because I know the sort of thing she likes more). However, I did think they might appreciate it because of their background... and they bought me a water tap once.

 

I always (well, both times) used Send A Cow because I liked how they described their work and the fact that the recipients pass on the first female offspring of the gift they receive, or equivalent. I also liked the fact that they were clear that if you "sent" a cow and the villages had enough cows, they would send something else but the villages would still benefit to the value of the cow... i.e. it's all driven by the needs of the villages, not the gift sender.

 

I know Oxfam (and others) do similar schemes but Send A Cow was the only one I found which was not overtly religious based and I would not feel comfortable overtly supporting a religious group.

 

I've sent chickens both years (because they know I have chickens), plus a couple of stocking fillers (learning based packages, or breakfast for the children).

 

I also sent my In-Laws some flowers which they should receive today. And, yes, adding it all together, I probably spent more than I would if I'd just bought them a present, but that wasn't the point.

 

PJ

[dancing cloud]

I love receiving Oxfam Unwrapped animals, but then I actually ask people to get them for me and this Christmas I am confidently expecting a mother and child and a couple of chickens . My family are by and large lovely people, and are absolutely clueless about buying presents for me, so I gave up being subtle a few years ago and gave them the brochure and clear instructions.

 

Having said that, last year I sounded out my sister in law about Ofam animals for the children, as they get so much every year and they are now nearly teenagers, and she was absolutely adamant that it would not be acceptable - good job I asked first!

 

I go along very much with what others have said about it being the thought behind the gift that often matters more than the gift itself, and I don't think I would give a charity gift unless I knew that it was what the recipient would genuinely like.