Guest Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 (edited) Ok......google blogger is not doing it for me, so you're stuck with it here..... >>>>MEET THE HOUSEHENS<<<< Ok, all the sitting about outside Eggemols offices, raking through the rubbish buckets, appear to have come up with top results, and we are pleased to announce the first of this years Househens for: BIG CHICKEN 2007 Name: SAM AND AMANDA (Twin White Leghorns) “If there’s only one fit boy in the house we’ll share him, definitely! He’ll never know the difference!” These inseparable, bubbly, chatty twin Leghorns describe themselves as “Twincredible”. Always clucking and finishing each other’s mealworms, they even have their own “Twin Song” they sing to introduce themselves to boys. Name: LESLEY (Aging Buttercup) Status: Married - with a whole flock of chicks "The British public will either love me or hate me - either way they’ll want to keep me in… I think there’s a strong possibility that I’ll not have to make that trip to the chicken factory, and that I may well win.” “I like to think that I’m intelligent, eggentric, perhaps a little unpredictable,” says Lesley, a member of the Chicken’s Institute. She has been married twice, first at 16, and her second husband is a grand Orpington cockerel, 23 years her senior. Name: CHARLEY (Buff Frizzle) Status: Single “I’m trendy, I’m wild, argumentative - I speak so much. I’m flirtatious and I’m hot, and I'm always ready to fightovder the potato peelings” A sleep-walker and talker, Charley is not a morning chicken. She has an intense phobia of spiders, is dreading the the thought of sharing the Eglu with a spider-eating househen. Name: TRACEY (Gingernut Ranger) “I’m a raver, man - I’m a cheesy quaver…I buzz off anything and any one.” A self-styled hippy raver-chick from a small flock in Cambridgeshire, Tracey has collected carrier bags since she was six and says she has never switched on a computer. She has never been on a plane but hears that Goa is a “phat place to be, where the cool chicks lay” Passive, party-loving and peace-loving Tracey says, “I go out havin’ it every weekend in a field, get on it, get in the stack and buzz like!” She adds, “I like my flock to be happy - I don’t do anger, it’s not in my world.” Name: CHANELLE (Bleached Bovans Nera) “I would either like to be famous and rich… or a speech therapist in Spain” Chanelle is utterly obsessed with Victoria Peckham and wants to move to Madrid and then LA just like her idol. She recently had her ‘pob’ cut short and bleached blonde to look like Ms Peckham. Chanelle once queued up for hours to meet her heroine at Shellfridges, would love to be a professional Victoria Peckham look-a-like - and says she’s definitely not a fan of Repecca Loos. Name: SHABNAM (Wynadotte) “I am an enigma, I’m striking in my presence. People love to talk to me and are drawn to me.” Shabnam lives in a wooden coup with her mother, who she gets on with like a sister. She loves people who like their food, especially mixed grain and sweetcorn, and describes herself as “full of life, vivacious, nuts, passionate, inimitable and striking”. She’d like to be reincarnated as “another enigma” such as Michael Jackson or Johnny Depp. Shabnam is an energetic chatterbox, who can cluck all night, given half the chance, but fears that her fellow house hens will nominate her for being 'messy around the glug and grub'. She thinks Big Chicken will let her “fascinating personality” shine through. “You can’t act on Big Brother - you have to be a top chook. There is no other way to win.” Here at Big Chicken, we realise that we are taking a risk by releasing these names before they are officially announced, and we appreciate that there will be more than these particular girlies entering the Big Chicken Eglu, but we believe that you, our loyal readers deserve breaking news from the very start. More Househen news as we get it...... Edited May 30, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Can't wait! Shona, you're fab! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Genius Shona, pure genius! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Just hope my sources are correct!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 wooooooooo, hoooooooooo Love it Shona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAH Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 EGGCELLENT!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 You are very informative in the Balamory House Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 I'm lovin' it ... this is so much better than that TV programme everyone was rushing home to watch tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Shona :clap: You're all set to make it another outstanding success at the helm of BC07 You really should get in touch with a national paper or something, you could get this in print every day to the nation and far more hentertaining than the BB07 currently on tele!!! A xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 You really should get in touch with a national paper or something, you could get this in print every day to the nation and far more hentertaining than the BB07 currently on tele!!! What about contacting the Irish fella? Doesnt he do a BB programme? Or a chicken magazine - what about Practical Poultry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy C Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I am so eggsited Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 MEET THE HOUSEHENS (PART 2) Emily (Blue Cochine) "Live life to the fullest, like it's your last. Lay eggs all around you and never eat Rhododenron leaves", a mantra that the cochin lives her life by. Fashionable Blue Cochine Emily is an indie chick with the heart of a middle-class politician. She'd like to write for Practical Poultry, having given up her dream of becoming a fashion designer because you can't sew with chicken feet. She cannot bear people who tell white lies, are ignorant or deliberately noisy when they lay. Nicky Clucky and argumentative, Nicky speaks her mind at all times. A chooks chook, she can spend hours preening herself to get ready for a night out. She is a firm believer that justice has to be done and all chickens should be treated equally., hens, cockerels and chicks alike. Cockerels annoy her, and she currently runs the 'no boys allowed' club in her local coop. Laura (Rhode Island Red) "If I won Big Chicken, I plan to use the prize money to insure my bustline" Laura is an absolute chatterbox who'll cluck to anyone. She's not too keen on the cherry brandy, and prefers drinking garlic water as it makes for a cheaper night out. The Rhode Island Red admits her breasty figure have made her prime target for the local butchers counter, and she has come to the Big Chicken Eglu to try and protect her assets. Carole (Norfolk Grey) Carole is a self-confessed political protestor with a big heart. From Greenham Common to Battery Hen Welfare Trust rallies, she's passionate about her beliefs. She doesn't suffer fools and is always happy to say exactly what is on her mind "I'm gonna shake it up like a rotten egg!" Why has she entered Big Chicken? She wants to bring the impotant work of the BHWT to the public eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 DAY ONE IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU The paint has dried, the run has been assembled, and the Househens are in, for this years BIG CHICKEN. It took the hens a while to notice the subtle difference in the househens (so far) this year - it was down to the oldest househen to notice that there were 'no buff cockerels' entering the Eglu, which sent the rest of the girlies into a frenzy of feather-pulling and clucking. It was also thanks to Buttercup Lesley that the group ate last night, as despair ran through the Eglu when the Househens realised that the run was housed on astroturf this year, so the chances of scratching out a dandelion leave, or even a stray clover were virtually nil. Lesley sniffed out the outdoor foodbin, and the girls immediately made short work of the fresh strawberries and carrot tops that Big Chicken had graciously laid on for a first night treat. As the girls snuggled up on the roosting bars for their first night, more than one of them went to sleep with worries on their mind. Shy twin Sam was concerned about sharing a nesting box with so many other girls ("I have such a petite bottom, and that big Rhode Island Red has a backside to match her chest"), Chanelle confided in Big chicken that she had hoped to find her very own 'David Peckahm in the Eglu and poor Lesley clucked away to herself all night, after making the disturbing discovery that Big Chicken had failed to provide the househens with ramekin dishes. The cruelness of it all.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffie Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 This is briliant I have given up BB for BC this year. far funnier and I just don't know where you get the ideas from BBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Not having a TV for 15 years, I never have seen a BB programme in my life... but all my chums/colleagues etc are always that I know what's going on and have such well informed opinions.... Shona, you are truly brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I'm staying in here this is so much better than the human(?) version Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Very clever ...look forward to reading more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Brilliant as usual Shona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Shona Congrats on Big Chicken 2007 I have just watched a bit of BB and I have to say it is complete rubbish. I think I must be getting old, I wouldn't class myself as a prude but some of the behaviour is a bit I think I'll stick with BC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 (edited) DAY 2 IN THE BIG CHICKEN EGLU The first full day started early in the Big Chicken Eglu as old bird, Lesley, was up with the dawn, scratching about in the astroturf, in a vain attempt to find a tasty early morning snack. Disappointed at the lack of worms in the garden, she took herself off to the outside roosting bars, and settled down to read the welcome manual Big Chicken had provided. It didn't take long for the Buttercup to have her peace disturbed when busty Rhode island Red Laura came squarking into the garden, ready for a good clucking session before the rest of the househens got up. As she fluttered from roosting bar to roosting bar, she admired the garden that Big Chicken has built this year, and admitted that she would be drinking out the water-butt by the end of the day. Back in the Eglu, Big Chicken awoke the rest of the roosting househens with the exciting news that their suitcases had arrived in the storeroom, sending them all into a frenzy of clucking. The househens watched in interest as the twins unpacked their suitcases - an avalanche of pink feather boas and purple spray - Big Chicken is going to be a colourful affair this year! After all the suitcases had been unpacked, and the eglu resembled the remnants of a scout jumble sale, Big chicken decided that it was time to set the househens a challenge, before boredom set in, and feather-plucking began. In it's wisdom, Big Chicken decided that a breakdancing competition would relieve the early tensions in the house, and asked each of the chickens to learn and perform a routine. With much merriment, the unco-ordinated househens set about the task with great gusto, and soon the girls were in the garden, boom-box on, practising 'funky alligators', 'crazy condors' and the ever popular 'horrendous headspin', with Big Chicken left amazed at the moves 'going down' in the garden. It was a difficult descision, but in the end the mighty Big Chicken ruled that Carole and her crew were the 'baddest' on the dance floor, and rewarded the girls with a half bottle of Benedictine and a bag of slightly mouldy bean-sprouts. The girls were left exhausted, and took themsleves off to the eglu, to gently cluck the night away, tummies full and heads fuzzy from the Benedictine. Little do they know what treat Big Chicken has up it's sleeves for them tonight......... Edited June 1, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Is it just me but when i read BC i tend to do it in a Newcastle accent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Nope, but I will now... (why?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 It's ok Emma - I write it with a Newcastle accent... (The guy that does the voice-over on BB has a strong Newcastle accent, Annie!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jan_novice_chicken_keeper Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Fab I can't wait for the next installment! Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
