patsylabrador Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Firstly, sorry for offloading. ES left the army in 2010 and seemed to have coped well with everything. We're lucky that he talks to us about things but he's started to have nightmares about sweeping for IEDs. The dream ends badly and he wakes up shouting although I've not been aware of this. His girlfriend tried to wake him once and he woke so violently that she fell off the bed. I've done research about PTSD and apparently it can start years after an event. He lost a mate to an IED and several were badly injured. In all he's lost 4 mates. I'm going to encourage him to contact Combatstress, a charity for soldiers. He's off to Switzerland for several months on Thursday so I don't have long to get on top of this. I feel I have to get this right so should I contact the charity myself? Aaaagh! My tummy's churning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duncan08 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I think I would contact them myself for advice on the next step. I doubt they could do anything further without his agreement, but they will have the best experience to know what to do. Hope he is ok, it's a terrible thing and all of them deserve our support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janepie33 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Yes, as a mum, I would contact the charity myself, just to see what the options are and then you could pass the info on to ES. What a lucky boy to have such a supportive family - I am sure that that will go a long way to help him overcome the difficulties he might be having. A neighbour's son (and ex school mate of DS) is in the Marines and was in Afghanistan a couple of years ago and is due to return this September. His parents are worried sick, but so supportive when he lets off steam with his friends. He has seen some dreadful things and lost some good friends too. Such brave boys and as Duncan 08 says, they need our support. Sorry to be a bit dim, but what is an IED? Best wishes and thinking of you and ES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 Thank you both. It does make sense for me to phone, just to chat and get advice. IED is an Improvised Explosive Device. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Sorry got no real idea what is best to do although I'm sure if you give the charity a ring they can advise. Just wanted to say what a horrible thing to have to worry about as a mum and hope everything works out ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I'd definitely ring them and seek advice. I do hope that your son manages to get some help. It must be so hard for our soldiers to be able to cope with what they've seen. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I agree with the others about ringing up, I hope you get some useful advice from the charity. I hope that your son is ok, it's no surprise that such experiences have long lasting effects. Thinking of you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Licken Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Get him to ring them. My ex had PTSD following his experiences in Iraq, he refused to get help (even though he is a health professional) he didn't feel able to access the help that he needed.It is not a weakness or a fault, just a result of the rubbish things we have seen and done in our time. The help is there these days, much better not to try and tough it out, but to get some help to allow him to move on and enjoy his life without being haunted by his nightmares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 If I were you I would get some advice and encourage him to get some help, you may have to wait until he feels ready though. Best wishes to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 Right at the last minute I managed to get time to chat with him before he left. We had a very constructive discussion and he was open to my suggestions and facts I learned about triggers which can cause reactions. A lot of his army mates have similar issues and thank goodness this new generation of soldiers feel able to talk to each other about it instead of hiding it. I think there's lots of abuse and joking when they chat about it but there's also trust and understanding and it's out in the open. OH had a blokey chat with him as well so I feel more relaxed and he knows we understand and he can tell us stuff. Thank you for your messages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purplemaniacs Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 That is good news, glad that you feel a little happier and reassured. DDs boyfriend I think has some similar issues as your son, I hope he has some mates to talk to too. They see so much that they have to deal with. Chrissie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Patsy - there was something in the Mail on Sunday about it - i think it was in You magazine. I thought of you and was going to PM you but problems with elderly dad put it out of my mind. It is so good that you chatted to him - hope all the guys and women for that matter get the support they deserve. Article might be on the website. it had a helpline. group which you may well already be aware of. BTW - another nice avatar - who is the lady? Ali x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 Thanks alis girls, I'll check that out. The avatar is me last Saturday. We'd been out on the Triumph and my make-up had mostly rubbed off and my hair needed washing but I still quite liked the photo. I'm not photogenic and a good pic is very rare. I used the effect to hide my dirty hair and it took years off me so I thought I'd use it for my avatar and pretend I actually look like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I'm sure a strong family will help him, he knows he can ask for help. It's good this generation of soldiers are more open to talking about problems like this with each other and accepting that maybe sometimes they need help. Hope all continues to go well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
