Chickabee Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 My YS came home from school last night and told me his friend is being put up for foster care. He's going into a home first. They are 15. I'm so shocked because this boy is a twin and has an older brother. They live in what can only be described as a mansion. They have a tennis court, garden house, swimming pool, pool table, quad bikes. The list goes on. I reassured my YS, who can be a bit of a handful, this would never happen to him. Can anybody help me with this. It's left me feeling quite upset Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Golly how difficult for everyone. I wonder if it is worth talking to your YS's form tutor as there may be a counsellor type person at the school who could talk it through with him? They hopefully will know the background to the situation and will be able to reassure your son better than you can. I would assume there is more to it than just the lad being a bit difficult (what 15 year old isn't) as taking a child out of home is only used as a last resort. Maybe there is an illness which the parents need to come to terms with on their own or something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickabee Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 I am seeing his head of year on Wednesday. Hopefully she will have something to say about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaLayla Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 What a difficult situation. I imagine the school will not be able to say much due to confidentiality but I should think there will be quite of lot of discussion among the children about this. What has the child said to your son about it? I suppose all you can do is to explain that sometimes things within a home may not be as they seem to the outside world and all families have difficulties but only in extreme situations would something like this happen. I hope you feel better about this soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Afraid it's quite possible the head of year may not be allowed to tell you anything - they should keep pupil confidentiality and will only be able to tell you what they have been given approval to say. Is it just this lad going into foster care or is his twin also going into care? Would seem very odd to split them up. There obviously is a serious problem for the poor lad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandmashazzie Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 There must be a very good reason Chickabee.Children are only removed as a last resort.Family support is given,then they try to find a kinship placement,if the others remain at home then they are not 'at risk' of emotional,physical or sexual abuse.I have in the past come across situations where 1 child in the family is scapegoated and it's been in their interest to be removed.It is not something social worker will have taken lightly esp splitting twins.Unless child discusses this you are unlikely to find out as others have said because of confidentiality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickabee Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Thank you grandmashazzie, I was hoping you'd read this post . His twin is staying with his parents. Suppose I'll never know the whole story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandmashazzie Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 It could also be an allegation child has made which needs investigated.I had child aged 14 who came to us on Fri.He had presented himself to social services and said his grandparents were physically abusing him he was brought into care but his sibling was left with grandparents.There was a lot of angst but grandparents were actually doing great job raising them both.He went back home after a week feeling he had been listened to.He had been bullied because of going to different school than local boys.He was a lovely young chap,he could have stayed here no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 My YD has a friend who is a twin, he too was in foster care for a while, didn't know the full story, but he had gone of the rails a bit. It is hard but we never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...