soapdragon Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 We havn't been to a wedding in years (all christenings and funerals....must be our age ) but are off to one next weekend. Its the daughter of someone that we knew quite well but havn't seen for 10 years or so...we knew the bride when she was quite small. Initially it was just for the evening 'do' but, as its some distance away and we couldn't get an overnight/evening babysitter, we asked if we could just go to the ceremony (civil, in a hotel) see them married and wend our way..that was fine. However, I am in a dilemma about presents. The initial evening invitation asked for contributions to the honeymoon but I feel a bit uncomfortable about that....is seems very impersonal sticking a note in a card and then....how much? I do accept that they have been together for a while and probably already have the optimum amount of toasters, irons etc but am I really old fashioned in finding this request for money a bit much? Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I think it is pretty much the norm these days. All of the last 4 weddings I have been to either asked for cash contributions or gift vouchers - I think it makes life a lot easier myself In Greece its tradition to pin paper money onto the brides gown , to give the couple a good monetary start in life. As for how much? Well if its just a friends daughter then I would do £30. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat tails Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 We do give money if they specifically ask for it. But try to do it in a funny/interesting way. We've once filled an old sock with loads of coins. I once made a tree out of multiplex and painted it and stuck the coins to the tree. Last time we filled a funny piggy bank with coins. I don't really prefer giving money, but if I do, I try to make something of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackrocksrock Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 One of those Terramundi pots with some coins in - try and get one thats specifically for holiday fund would be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Hmm, quite a dilemma, and I can understand that you wouldn't want to buy a 'wasted' present. I would go for vouchers When I got married, we didn't want a fuss, so planned it for 3 weeks ahead and said that we'd understand if people didn't give presents, but that we'd appreciate JLP vouchers as we were saving for some household items. From what I remember, it was well received, and people understood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I would stick with the money theme. A friend of ours collects two pound coins as a way of saving and is always asking people to keep them for her so that she can buy them from them. When she recently got married ( a second marriage, therefore two lots of household goods ) we packed £30 worth of two pound coins into a pot of glitter stars, she loved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I've not been to a wedding in years either (you'll know from my other thread ) but I too would feel slightly uncomfortable about a request for money . However, if that's what they want, it does make it easier for you. I would say £30 sounds about right. If anyone is looking for an old-fashioned, actual wedding present, I can confirm that this website sells lovely things . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 OOOhhh, ANH, they are lovely. I couldn't give them away tho would have to keep them for us they are so nice. I do love natural, rustic things! Thanks, everyone, for your comments and advice; I guess I am just old fashioned! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Lovely site - I have a wooden set of candle sticks, 2 crosses and some olive wood trinket boxes from Holy Lands. I also have the salad servers and lemon juice thingy from Cyprus. Thanks for link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I don't think you're old fashioned - or if you are, then so am I. I do understand why people ask for money/vouchers, especially when they've already been living together or have a houseful of stuff, but I don't feel comfortable with it, I'd rather buy something. On the other hand if you don't have a wedding list/don't know them well, it's hard to know what to get. I think it's up to you, there are some creative ideas above for giving money but if you feel you'd rather get a specific present then you should stick to your guns and get them something you think they'd like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Thanks, Olly......I will have a look in our lovely village shop this week; they have some nice and unusual things. Umpty years ago when we married we had a list and still use items from it and I often think 'Oh, So and So gave us this' which, I think is so nice as some who came to our wedding are now no longer with us! At least now, if I can't find something individual, I won't feel so bad about sticking a note in a card! Sage advice from you all, as usual - thanks!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Another old fashioned one here. I got dish out last weekend to put nibbles in and the card from my friend dropped out. Its a cut glass affair not really my taste but big enough for pringles etc. It was a present for our wedding day. Those memories you wont have again. I think go with what they want. They will be the ones missing out. Sad how things change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I agree that it's nice to have a memory of someone attached to things in your house but that doesn't really occur to you at the time you're getting married. My mother-in-law's neighbour gave us an ironing board when we got married. Our memory of that was when MIL asked if it was a "successful" ironing board. We all joked (but not to her face) that yes, it has a PhD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 My mother-in-law's neighbour gave us an ironing board when we got married. Our memory of that was when MIL asked if it was a "successful" ironing board. We all joked (but not to her face) that yes, it has a PhD Perhaps it had aspirations to be a trouser press Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Well, in the end I stuck a £20.00 note into the card! Am hoping that I may get a 'thank you' letter sometime soon or maybe being old fashioned again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 After waiting nearly 3 months for a thank you letter, I am informed that anything up to 3 months is supposedly an acceptable length of time for wedding thank yous to be sent out. Hmmm . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Oh well, I'll not hold my breath then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
