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Funeral arrangements

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There is no easy way of asking this, but My Nana died yesterday :cry: and as her next of kin I have to make the funeral arrangements.

 

I just wondered if it was expected to have some sort of wake after the funeral, as she has been in a nursing home for some time, and the service will be at Altrincham crem, so I'm a little unsure where to hold an event.

 

I realise it's an odd request, but does any one have any suggestions? The bank hol means that everything has to go on hold until Tuesday :?

 

karen x

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Sorry to hear about your Nana Karen

 

I don't really have any suggestions about the arrangements apart from could you have a few people back to your home or another relatives?

 

As Looney suggested a local hotel/pub could be a good idea, not sure if it seems appropriate to ask the nursing home :? they may be able to suggest something though

 

Best wishes to you and your family

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So sorry to hear about your Nan - mine died a couple of months ago too.

 

We had cups of tea, wine and sandwiches etc at her house, which was a bit weird as she wasn't there in her chair.

 

Other funerals I have been to in recent years (mostly crematorium or church service and then crematorium, and sadly for much younger friends) have had a gathering and buffet at a local venue (golf club in one case and local recreation centre in another). If you can link the venue to somewhere your nan used to go/might have felt 'at home' that would be nice but the main thing is to offer people somewhere to gather afterwards and chat, share memories etc. I am sure it would be acceptable to open your own or another relative's home. Maybe someone will offer?

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Hi Karen, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

It is usual to have somewhere to go to after the funeral for a bit of a natter,a drink & a bite to eat, but no one would be upset if you decided against doing this.

A local pub may be able to offer a room maybe (I have been to several in local pubs around here).They are usually willing as they get ready made customers at the bar & they will also make money if you ask them to provide sandwiches & so forth.

 

I hope you can find somewhere suitable.

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Karen, I'm so sorry for your loss. xx

 

As a pub manager, I frequently hired out iour function suite to bereaved families, for their wake. Most pubs/hotels will be happy to cater for such an occasion, and will be able to provide as much or as little food as you want, along with tea, coffee and some kind of soft drink with very little notice. You'll also be able to make tentative enquiries about hiring such venues just now, although obviously you wouldn't be able to book anything till Tuesday and you can arrange a date/time for the Crem. It'll be one less thing to worry about on Tuesday, if you already have a couple of places in mind.

 

At such a sad time, try not to do everything yourself - this is the sort of time when friends will really rally around, and provide you with support. xxxx

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I am sorry to hear the news.

 

When my Dad died we went to a small hotel ( there were about 100 of us) and had a bit of a buffet and cups of tea etc. Despite it being a heartbreaking occasion, it was quite nice to do this afterwards, as there were relatives whom we hadn't seen for years, former neighbours and a few of his work mates, and it was lovely to chat to them.

 

I think we paid about £150. I remember being pleasantly surprised anyway.

 

Having it in a hotel saved us the bother of catering...which you are not in a state of mind to do at a time like that anyway.

 

I'm sure the funeral director will have some recommendations for you.

 

Lots of love.

 

xx

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Sorry to read this post Karen. Nicola sounds like she knows some good places to meet afterwards. My Mums wake was at the family home, we got a pile of M and S buffet stuff. My Dads was done at the village pub, and was nice as we then had no responsibilty of catering and cleaning up. My great Aunt's was at her house - which was nice as only immediate family and a few friends.

 

I was glad we had my Dad's on neatral soil tho' as it was a bit like a double wammy for my parents, and softened the blow.

 

I would take some pointers from Nicola if need be - but do what you feel is best. Best wishes x

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Thank you for all the lovely messages and suggestions,

 

My sisters and I all live between 45 mins and two hours from Altrincham, unfortunately I don't think my Nanas' friends would be able or willing to travel that far :(

 

I will ask the undertaker for some venues, or Nicola (thank you :) ) and hopefully get things sorted out.

 

I have been able to arrange the date and time of her funeral, and the undertaker was lovely :) Hopefully we can give her a send off she would have wanted.

 

karen x

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