fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Posting this on an internet forum seems weird. Ross and I are discussing having another child. Ive never wanted a single child. I think the thought of having another baby if you have one, is worse than being a new pregnant mom to be. YOU KNOW all the awkward , hard sleepless nights. You KNOW all the days of endless crying. But--- having another child to look after too? Is that good or bad? Seth could distract the baby to stop it crying??? or will it be twice as hard???? argh!!! im broody. send the stork to me also, so i have no c-section! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 ps. dont take into account ross being at Uni, as i am the one who does everything . and fiancially itd be ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 We have a gap of almost 4 yrs between our boys and for us that's great. I found that the sleepless nights just about ended once Fred had all his baby teeth (23 months) so we had about 22 months of settled nights before Robert was born which meant my stamina was almost back to normal! I have no family close by but some very good friends who would bring Fred home from school for me if I was shattered and needed an afternoon nap. He was also keen to help look after his little brother and is still very protective of him when we're out. At home it can be different tho... At the end of the day it's a completely personal decision. If you were to fall pregnant tonight Seth would be 28 months by the time baby came along, how do you think he would cope with that? I needed to have some Mum and baby time so it was great that he went to Nursery at the local school every afternoon. Don't know if this helps but no, you're not mad to be broody. Perhaps Ross should squirt water on you as I've read someone suggest for their chooks? Lucy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Just realised I've got Seth's age wrong, i saw yours at 21... Used to be good at Maths... My cousin's kids are very close together, only 10 months apart in fact and they manage. At least you get all the restless nights over in one go. Lucy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 lol!!! at the water. seth would be 20 months! not 28 ! eeek! But im planning on waiting a 6-12 month gap before i even think of getting pregnant! thanks though for the advice! Great! I also thought about the school nursey thing. Our 2min walk school , is the best Ofsted one in Shropshire and id be happy for him to go there for 3 hrs a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Just realised I've got Seth's age wrong, i saw yours at 21... Used to be good at Maths... My cousin's kids are very close together, only 10 months apart in fact and they manage. At least you get all the restless nights over in one go. Lucy thing is, i think im thinking about this because a: seths sleeping through now. and B: went to mothercare today and saw a 7lb baby! brooooodie!! what put me off also is having to have a double buggy! And Bugaboo dont make them. that means id have to sell my beloved Bugaboo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FORENSICA Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I worked as Nanny for quite a bit and personally think that gap of at least 2 years (preferably 3) between children was ideal for the mother. But if it is earlier, then the children easier learn from each other where the second one catches up with the first one very fast. I had a family once with 3 children under age of 4 years and it worked there brilliantly and I didn't feel exhausted at all. So I would say go for it and then send the stork here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I have 20 months between each of mine. It has its pluses it has its minuses. I think the main problems for us were the unexpected. Months either in hospital or travelling to hospital made it hard for the two little ones but my situation wasnt normal and they bounced back pretty quickly. I don't think adding a child makes double the work its more like 1/2 again/. Obviously a new baby does need care and your time but at the same time you are much more practised and more confident in what you are doing. Bear in mind though you said Seth was in a routine til recently, with all the will in the world some babies just dont do this and you may have a horror child next (lucky for me my first was the horror child they only ever got better). To be honest I think only you [two] can decide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I took so long posting you posted inbetween I definitely need to learn to type (or is that think) faster I had a family once with 3 children under age of 4 years and it worked there brilliantly and I didn't feel exhausted at all. Thats what I had! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 seth was a horror child , 20 MINS SLEEP A DAY FOR 3 MONTHS, THEN.... 3 HRS A NIGHT UNTIL LAST MONTH. okkkk calm it down miss laura cap locks off! Christian knows, ooooh too well about this! LOL, msn! i think i will leave it until hes about 18 months to become pregnant! This is scary! the first time was Unknown what to expect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 I worked as Nanny for quite a bit and personally think that gap of at least 2 years (preferably 3) between children was ideal for the mother. But if it is earlier, then the children easier learn from each other where the second one catches up with the first one very fast. I had a family once with 3 children under age of 4 years and it worked there brilliantly and I didn't feel exhausted at all. So I would say go for it and then send the stork here! whispers : come on! tell me there secret. !!! Ill make it worth your while Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Despite Rosie beign a nightmare sleeper for the first 3 years, I'd have loved loads more - it just never worked out that way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Oh Claret! your still young! You could have a mini phil running about. Dont worry , if you decide no, you can come over anyyyy time, and munch feet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hmm, really up to you Laura - but your hormones will decide in the end whatever you think! I had a lone child for 11 years before number 2 came along. Oldest was very easy, independant, didn't know I had him sometimes. Having numbers 2 & 3 only 23 months apart was very different - boy do you know you have them! But they are so much more outgoing and confident than their older brother. Harder work for Mum at first, but it does pass quickly and they are soon independant. And they do entertain each other. As they were fairly close together, there was never any jealousy, I don't think Dan was ever aware of a time when his younger brother wasn't around. My friend has 4 - daughter was 3 in April, son was 2 in July and she had twin boys 4 weeks ago. But she's coping. It does help if there are family and friends around to help as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I only had 18 months between my 2, I only ever wanted a small gap between babies and then fell pregnant almost at the first attempt after deciding to go for number 2. It worked for me, although that 1st year passed in a bit of a haze, and I didn't have enough time to really celebrate Seb's big achievements with him (speaking in sentences, potty training and so on) simply because I was also running around with a baby. But I got the baby years all done and dusted at once, and they've always been fabulous company for each other. Even now at 14 and very nearly 16 they're best mates (occasionally worst enemies as well ).................. and have taken to ogling each others friends. Big brothers and little sisters appear to have some advantages But it's a very personal decision, I don't think there's any right or wrong, close together or separated by a larger gap, each has it's pros and cons. Go with what your heart tells you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Thanks for you replies! Oh i jsut dont know what to do! Its so hard! Im hoping for a baby under a gooseberry bush, or via royail mail- or even better UPS. [love the brown unifrom] I just love the thought of a play friend for Seth. And a new baby again. But its so hard!!! But i dont like the thought of having to rely on family for help as my In laws are insane!!! And my family jet set everywhere. EEEeeek!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missuscluck Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I would agree with the 2 year gap. Mine are 2 years apart and it seems to work fine although when I had the second one it was hard for a bit. My son (first born) was a difficult baby. He NEVER slept, was hyper all the time, had projectile vomiting, consipation, collic and any thing else that was going. I never wanted him to be an only child so we just decided to not think about it any more and just go for it. My daughter was born when my son was 2 years and 2 weeks old and she was the compleat opposite. Sooo good. I asked the midwife 2 weeks in if she was ok because she dosent really do anything, and the midwife said 'no, this is what babys are supposed to be like. You just had a bad time last time' Your second one will be lovley and good as you have made all the mistakes the first time. You are calmer and dont worry all the time that you are doing the right thing as you know the ropes. Enjoy trying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 as my In laws are insane!!! Arent they all?!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hi Laura, I shouldn't have read your post, I am actually now getting broody myself I have four kids, with gaps of 2, 3 and 4 years in between them... 2 years between the first two cause it felt like 'normal gap', 3 years then because the second child was so difficult we considered not having any more... and 4 years because the last was totally unplanned... Having those various age gaps, all I'd say is everything works and any gap is fine, different gaps have different advantages, and one thing is sure, is that no matter what the gap is you will never have any regrets... Our second baby was very hard... funly enough she is the easiest of the lot now... our third was happy and so easy... or was it me being so used to things being tough that she seemed like a breeze... the fourth is our unexpected heaven, and she is so smiley and cuddly and happy all the time, yet immensely clingy and only just starting to sleep well, in her own cot, at 14 months... All in all, no matter what the gap is, you can't plan what the next child's personality will be, and if things are hard you can remind yourself it doesn't last... there is no wrong answer really... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 as my In laws are insane!!! Arent they all?!!!! Nah, my MIL is fabulous and FIL (sadly now deceased) was the such a wonderful man and they both adored their grandchildren and have been incredibly supportive to me. My family on the other hand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Thanks!!! i also want to loose the seth baby weight before i have another, 3 stone to be exact. No gal ones 2 lots of baby weight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 as my In laws are insane!!! Arent they all?!!!! Nah, my MIL is fabulous and FIL (sadly now deceased) was the such a wonderful man and they both adored their grandchildren and have been incredibly supportive to me. My family on the other hand my IL's and My own family are: Christian knows this ALSO all too well, bless him. IL's tell me what to do, the IL Great G/P's are the worst. And my family are too 'busy busy' to care! Appart from my Nan and aunts! Italians ! what can i say! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 as my In laws are insane!!! Arent they all?!!!! Nah, my MIL is fabulous and FIL (sadly now deceased) was the such a wonderful man and they both adored their grandchildren and have been incredibly supportive to me. My family on the other hand I'm with you on that Kate - Phil's folks are far easier than mine. Laura - I'm glad that you think I am young enough to have more, but I am more than twice your age and not able to have any more Although we have been together for five years, Phil doesn't live with us, and having been left with the baby once, I wouldn't be prepared to take that risk again even though I know that P would never do that. Rosie is brilliant though and more than makes up for only having one, especially on the mess front! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahJo Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Ben and Joe 16 months apart - best and worst friends, depending , but really good mates most of the time. Hard work in early days, easier now as they both play football for the same under 8's side, and Joe is only one year behind Ben at school. Do what YOU and OH feel is right for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy&cake Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 awww clare-t. Well youll make a fab foster mom one day anyway. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
