theherd123 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'. 5.Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much. 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 11. It's impossible to believe the 1 sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Wonderful!! Another screen spattered with tea!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 ROFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Brillliant Em... how's the 'Twyford Hug' coming on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 ROFL Best one I everh heard was. "If breathing were not automatic your son would cease to be a problem" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I'm working at a school and it's funny what the teachers come out with. The kids say funny answers too. I'd better not say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Oh.....go on!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 One kid said they thought Mink wouldn't survive in the wild as they were "used to city life." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I see what you mean Keep 'em coming Choccy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, heeeeeeeeeeeeee Love them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clucky1 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Teee - Heeeee My little girl (8yrs) said to me the other that 'could my husband and I get married again - as she had missed it' ! I had to tell her that she was but a distant thought at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 That was funny... though imagine reading that on your child's report card!!!! Talk about constructive, positive, encouraging comments !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Actually it reminds me of something some friends told us once... they went to a parent/teacher meeting when their child was still very small, and told us teachers were to say something positive about most children, wanting to encourage abilities at that age, rather than condemn anyone... so comments such as 'quick learner', 'good with his hands', 'very artistic' and so on, were the main flavour of the evening for most families. Apparently, when our friends sat down in front of the teachers, they were told that their son was 'very honest'... a bit puzzled, they asked 'okie... so, what does that mean?', to which they were told, 'he always does bad things... but he always owns up to them'.... Poor parents weren't sure whether to be proud or not!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I remember a couple of years ago being very cross when it turned out that every child in Rosie's class had virtually the same report bar a couple of pasted in items to give them 'individuality'. When I spoke to the teacher about it, she was very defensive and denied it... I pointed out that saying that Rosie had 'good ball skills' was a dead giveaway (she has appalling hand/foot/ball co-ordination, bless her). I'd also compared notes with some other parents and we'd all got more or less the same. I spoke to the head teacher and said that I'd rather not have a report than have one, which quite plainly wasn't about my duaghter at all... he didn't understand until I showed him copies of about 8 childrens' reports and they were all more or less the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 That's very true Claret... with three daughters in the same school, I see some interesting similarities in the comments cards over the years, especially when teachers feel there was nothing special to say... it changes for a child's specific strengths or weaknesses, but the bulk of the report is blaa blaa copied and pasted from a template!! Also sometimes you feel sure they mistook your child for another... my husband was cross when my then 5 year old second daughter report said 'should work on IT skill'... suki is and was very good with computers from a very early age, she started playing with the pc when she was 2... with amazing mouse skills by the time she was 5, and surfing the internet from the moment she could remember how to spell a website address... I remember DH looking from the report card with sparks flashing out of his eyes 'I've never heard of a five year old who can operate a computer like she can, who on earth are they talking about, it certainly can't be suki!!!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 That is why i did not go to my girls last parents evening They tell me nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I always find it a waste of time too Paola; the last one, I was kept waiting for 40 minutes because they were running late, and then it took 10 minutes to tell me what I already knew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanut12 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 An interesting debate here. I am a teacher and our school has done away with the full written report in exchange for 3 short reports a year. We have also replaced parent's evenings with target -setting days. Many parents are up in arms because they feel parent's evenings are really valuable. Being someone who has sat at a desk from 5pm till 10pm seeing about a dozen parents for 5 minute appointments and twiddling my thumbs in between, I have to say it's no great loss. Sadly, parents are often too reluctant to contact class teachers on an ad-hoc basis to see how their child is progressing (or you just can't get through on the phones) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner.girl Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 To be fair on us poor teachers - its easy to write a report if a child is either exceptionally able or completely clueless at a certain subject but trying to find different words to describe the average-ness of the majority of children does get a bit tedious after the 50th report along the same lines... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Well true... don't get me wrong, this was not on attack on teachers, my girls teachers are good teachers.... the point about the report 'templates' is, there are no 50 different ways to say when a child is doing fine, but when you are on the reading end reading the same lines all the time you start wondering if it's useful... I for sure wouldn't know how to make 20 different reports sound totally individual in each line, or how to keep up with 20 sets of parents at a meeting. What I do like about reports is they summarise the year/term a bit, each paragraph for each subject tells you what has been done, what the child achieved and what they enjoyed most. A very short report telling parents only what is particularly relevant to their child would strike a more 'individual' approach, but would miss on the detailed summary of what happened in the term. In most subjects I know what the kids have been doing, but not all, especially the ones for which no homework is done and all the work is done in the classroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 I always think it would be far more useful to sit in on every other child's parent's evening! You know how your own child is doing so then you could guage how well they were coping in relation to everyone else. I'm always interested to know the results the rest of the class got in tests - then you've got something to compare your child's mark against. I'm not a "competitive mum" in case you're wondering - I just like to know if my kids are coping and you can't always tell from just a test mark (unless it's 100% obviously - and that's never happened here ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susiepoos Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 My eldest son was described by his year 4 teacher as "a subversive influence" Tell me - where do you go from there? Every parents evening we have been to and I mean every it starts out fairly positive and then there comes to a break in the conversation and you get "but" - we wait for it now - we say it for them - we say it together!!!!!!!! Hey ho - he's 17 now - not much longer to go!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Parents' evenings are invaluable to me; i am just not able to see the teachers at any other time. We have 2 per year, and I always find them helpful... I just wish that they were able to run on time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 many years ago my freind went to her 6yr old daughters parent evening & read through her news book, "at the weekend I was a bridesmaid & the teacher asked if the bride wore a pretty dress, I said dont be silly she wore a pregnant dress" my poor friend was so embarrassed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 parents evenings at primary school are really useful because the teachers know the children on a much more individual basis but by the time they get to secondary school they haven't a clue unless your child falls into the excellent or dire category. My ED is happily sitting in the mid range of yr9 at a very good grammar school and up to now most of the teachers don't have a clue who she is Their parents evenings are so badly organised they have most of the teachers around the hall with chairs in the middle and as someone leaves a teacher there is a scrumage of parents trying to be next, so if you are timid and polite like me you don't stand a chance My son however is also at a very good boys grammar in yr 7 who picked up very quickly that he was a bit overwhelmed and put him onto a daily reporting system which will hopefully mean that most of his teachers know who he is when we go to his parents evening next Monday. He is now doing fine he is definately a good advert for single sex schools, his school know their way around boys and how to motivate them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...