MedusA Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 For once, it seems your Mum is in the right, ANH! I can't believe I said that!!! But credit where it's due. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Your poor mum! Is she sure it's those neighbours that have complained? It seems unlikely, given that they have been creating mess themselves and that they have an apparently "illegal" extension. It wouldn't surprise me to find that someone else complained, and maybe they complained about her neighbours and the Council got the wrong house. My eldest step son was horrified to receive a formal notice from the Council telling him they had received formal complaints, been round to check the situation, and that he had to get his dog sorted out as it was causing a noise nuisance. He doesn't have any pets at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Maybe their gardener decided to leaflet the neighbourhoodwhilst he was in the area. Seems the most likely explanation tbh. Did you actually see the men with clipboards? Is your mum a council tenant? If not then the condition of her front garden, unless full of wrecked cars and discarded fridges, would not be any conern of theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 I knew I should've waited till I'd seen mum today, before posting . Guess what? She admitted she has no proof it was the neighbours. I said perhaps they were coming to assess you for getting your wheelie bins moved for you by the binmen? Yes, possibly, she says. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh She says the neighbours put a letter through her door asking her to "get her garden back to the state it used to be in". Asked if I could see it. "I've been looking for it, I can't find it." So, I take it all back. I'm not on her side - she's still making up stories left right and centre to suit herself. Oh, and she was very pleased last week that an old biddy stopped and spoke to her while she was digging in the garden and said "I live at No. 21, pop by for a cup of tea". Mum did (surprisingly) but instead of being pleased someone's been friendly, she "Ooops, word censored!"ed about her to me today. " She wasn't the person I thought she was [eh? ]. I didn't like her at all. Her house is very odd - it's obviously been built on on a bit of someone else's garden". Total rubbish, I drove past it and it's a perfectly normal semi-detached house which has been there since I was small. I should know by now not to believe a word she says about anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Oh heck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Oh dear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 oh dear. Sounds like normal service has been resumed! Let's hope it quietens down again, wonder why it's all been so calm for so long? Is she taking her tablets? Maybe this is just a momentary blip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted September 18, 2008 Author Share Posted September 18, 2008 I can't actually believe the conversation I just had with my mum. I'm putting it in this "blog" so I don't forget what she said - I'd think I was imagining it otherwise . After listening to her bleat and winge for some time I told her the sad news that the 16 year old daughter of some friends of ours (and a classmate of ES's) had died. She doesn't read the papers any more so hadn't seen it reported. She asked how it happened (we don't know yet) then said something like "well, that's good" or "that's lucky". I said "what's good?" thinking maybe she meant that the poor girl died peacefully in her sleep. "Well, the world's not a very nice place to be now". I said I don't think a 16 year old would think that and her parents certainly wouldn't think that. "Well, wouldn't you be happy to die at your age (46)?" she asked me. Just how self-absorbed and unfeeling would you have to be to respond to the death of a 16 year old girl in that way? Although I usually know how she'll respond to certain things, I am totally shocked at this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 oh dear. She's not on the same planet as the rest of us, is she. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 I think I have to agree with Olly on this one. I'm so sorry Vicki, thats all you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Welly Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Definately not on this Earth. I'm sorry you have to put up with all this "Ooops, word censored!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KimmyCustard Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 ANH I have nothing to say re this matter for fear of never being able to stop typing what I want to say. Poor you. Kimmy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Oh ANH, really not what you need at the mo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Don't know what to say ANH, words fail me. You can only feel sorry for someone who has such a negative view of life. Keep your chin up Hon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted September 18, 2008 Author Share Posted September 18, 2008 Well, at least now I know I'm right not to tell her about my birth mum's death. The funeral's next Thursday in Norfolk so we're driving down Wednesday night, staying overnight in a Travelodge near Kings Lynn, then staying the night of the funeral in the hotel my mum & her husband ran (where I would've been brought up if I'd not been adopted ). They sold it to a lovely couple who are letting us have one (or possibly two) rooms for nothing . I've got a story concocted about going to school camp at the end of next week rather than tell mum the truth . Previous experience has taught me honesty is not the best policy . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Oh dear families can be so trying and it sounds like you have more to put up with than most. You are so generous with your help and advice on this forum and its a real shame that we can appreciate your goodness but your own mum can't I hope the funeral is isn't too hard on you hugs x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 ANH I am so sorry about all the difficulties you have been having! I have only just caught up with this thread. I hope that next Thursday goes as well as can be expected. I will be thinking of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I think your Mum's response to your news was not unusual for someone with mental health problems like hers. It's always about them unfortunately. I am so sorry, Vicki. But, what a lovely response from the people who bought your birth mum's hotel. It shows just what nice people there are in this world. I hope the trip goes as well as it can do in this situation and I totally agree you are right to hide the truth from your Mum. *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 So sorry Vicki - you are handling all this so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I hope it goes as well as can be expected on Thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 I've not posted for a bit but am feeling a bit fed up with mum today so hope you don't mind another rant . She's been pretty good (for her) and quite nice to me over the last couple of months however she's still extremely negative about everything and everybody and the end of the world is still nigh (but just for her, obviously, not anybody else ). She moans about the cost of the home constantly (fair enough but what am I supposed to do about it ) and tells everyone she can't afford to heat her house. She wears 4 layers of clothing and has one fan heater in the living room. They aren't short of money really (although their savings are obviously going down rapidly ). She insists some woman from BUPA is sorting something out so they can pay hugely reduced fees for dad. This seems unlikely and I'm a bit sceptical but I'll wait and see. However, today she phoned in a right state saying she's NEVER going to the nursing home EVER AGAIN. I asked if something had happened this morning and she said no, but she can't stand to spend another minute "in that place". Dad didn't recognise her and the lounge was full of ALL the residents and ALL the staff (she couldn't tell me why though ). "The next time I see dad will be at his cremation or mine if I go first." I think she dreams things and then gets them mixed up with real visits and things people have said and concocts awful scenarios which get her in a right tizzy. I said not to worry about visiting dad so often, I can go in more often and that she should have a break. "What would I have to get up for then?" she said. Aargh . Her parting words were "don't be surprised if I suddenly disappear to Switzerland". I told her she'd better renew her passport then . It's ridiculous, if she really wanted to be dead (as she constantly says) she doesn't have to go to Switzerland. I'm sorry if I'm sounding callous but I'm just sick of it. I feel a bit better now, thanks . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I was hoping that maybe things had improved a bit, ANH, but obviously not! Sorry to hear you're still having the same problems ... I think you're a saint to put up with it. Come on here any time for a rant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Oh AHH There's not an awful lot I can say, you cant win can you your always stuck between a rock and a hard place with your mum. It must be very emotionally draining I just want you to know I think given the circumstances and what you have to put up with you are marvelous. I would have cracked and bumped her off myself by now Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 keyhole kate said: Oh AHH There's not an awful lot I can say, you cant win can you your always stuck between a rock and a hard place with your mum. It must be very emotionally draining I just want you to know I think given the circumstances and what you have to put up with you are marvelous. I would have cracked and bumped her off myself by now Hugs I'm with Kate on this and how you haven't totally cracked up I don't know (by totally I don't mean that you're a bit cracked up - you know what I mean don't you) I spent an evening and about an hour one afternoon last week with some relatives. One does have medical problems but the other one just needs to get off her you know what and get a life before life passes her by. All they did was moan, it is so, so draining. How you have put up with your mum this long I don't know. Sending big virtual hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 You know you can always come on here and rant to us hon. *hugs* I thought things had been a bit quiet on the "Mum" front for a while, so she's been overdue a tizzy, hasn't she? Keep a brave face and let her get on with it! How is your Dad doing anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
