Patridge bantam chicken poorly foot?

[The Dogmother]

Sounds like she's after a bit of attention COAM, they go through an insecure phase around 3 years. Getting told off is better than no attention at all. I had to start a zero tolerance tactic with Rosie at that age; I felt bad for a while, but it paid off in the end.

[Guest]

Yep! Been there, done that!

 

When DD1 was 4 she told me that she deliberately made me cross so that I would come up to her bedroom and see her (she was meant to be going to sleep!) She also said to me that when I shout at her she thinks I don't love her (again aged 4). I began to wonder if I'd left a child-rearing text book around for her to read because it was just so classic!

[Martin B]

I think everyone says "You've ruined my life" too somebody at some point but they don't mean it.

[The Dogmother]

At the time they probably thought they did

[Popcorn]

I'm wishing I'd not seen this thread now....

[chocchick]

What thread?!

[Popcorn]

good one CC!

[Guest]

My advice, Gina? Don't be alarmed. Make sure that you have plenty of time for your child in the first 10 years. Do things together, chat about things and establish a close relationship. Then when you hit the teenage years you have that closeness to fall back on.

 

All you need to know at the outset is how to take care of a baby, the rest comes naturally as you grow up together.

 

How long now Gina? I'm getting excited!

[Popcorn]

And , don't forget Ginette...I can always use the forum for some great advice - thank you! Like having my own set of experts on my door step.

 

Due date is next Friday (12th)

[Cate in NZ]

Teenage daughters are fab Gina..... really. Mine can be frustrating, untidy and prone to the odd strop, but she's also kind, thoughtful, full of funny, spontaneous outbursts (that probably aren't always intended to be funny ), and she's my very best friend.

She and her teenage brother are going through a lot of changes, whirling hormones, school & peer pressures and trying to learn what their own personal values and attitudes are, as well as physical changes. Under that much pressure it's not suprising that they "erupt" sometimes. But they're both fantastic young people, I'm very proud of them and love their company, so I stand firm on the discipline, they do need boundaries, stand firm on the love and support and take the rough with the smooth.

Teenagers are great

(I do wish that just occasionally my friends could get through to me on the telephone though )

[Cinnamon]

Thanks for that nice post Kate.

It made me remember the nicer parts about having a teenager in the house

 

My daughter was a nightmare yesterday evening,swore at me ,said she wished I was dead & that I was ruining her whole life.

She got herslef a privilidge ban for the entire weekend for that one (no i-Pod,TV,Music,Mobile,Computer)

 

She was then ultra nice this morning,apologised profusley & brought me coffee in bed

 

So,is this just mood swings or was she trying to worm her way back into having her priviledges again???

She did ask for her i-Pod & stomped off to school in high dudgeon when I refused

[Louise]

Oh Sarah I remember it well poor you

 

I remember being the stroppy one I hasten to add I was a nightmare for my parents but my mum was great she let me rage at the world for a few years and we get on great now so it will get better just hang in there

[Guest]

With my eldest (17 next month) apologies are always to do with getting what she wants. I don't think she understands 'feeling' sorry! We are having a really hard time with her.

 

My 14 year old is great, funny and sensible. She always refuses to do things I ask really rudely and then goes off and does them. She usually apologises for being rude. I have a much better relationship with her than I do with the eldest.

 

My 11 year old is trying to find her new place in life and can be quite sparky at times. She always apologises for being rude and I know it is genuine. I'm hoping for some good teenage years with her!

 

They're all different and whilst I love them all equally, I can sometimes find it hard to like them. Whilst I am envious of people who have a really good relationship with their children, I am not ashamed of feeling like that.

[The Dogmother]

That's a very good description Ginette. I'm not sure whether i am looking forward to Rosie being a teenager. She is still at that cute little girl stage, but I was a nightmare teenager and very challenging for my folks and I suspect that she might be the same. Oh well, unlike my parents, nothing shocks me, so she's lost that one!

[Guest]

Oh well, unlike my parents, nothing shocks me, so she's lost that one!

 

Not much shocks me either, but I have found that quite difficult when I have felt that as a parent, I ought to be shocked. Trying to pretend shock and horror when it doesn't really bother me has been quite hard. I don't know how to disapprove of certain behaviours at the same time as maintaining a good relationship. (I say maintaining, I'm not sure we've ever really had one!)

 

As I said earlier Claret, share things together and have lots of fun while she is still young. Then you have joint experiences to share when/if she ever becomes difficult. With girls, I think it is usually a personal challenge. Women like to be in charge of their own environment and teenage girls are trying to take charge of theirs. When the two areas overlap, there is trouble!

 

Andrew is almost exactly the same age as Rosie and although he has plenty of challenging behaviour, we are very close and I am enjoying the young child in him. Boys are much younger than girls!

[Jangle]

Well, I have a 14 year old daughter who currently lies, strops at the least provocation, and is unbelievably lazy. Yesterday, having broken her third set of hair straighteners in a year, she was demanding that the OH and I pay £80 for a new set. She was told politely that if she wanted them, she could save her allowance to do so or get a babysitting job.

 

My antedote to her (apart from large quantities of red wine) is her 9 year old sister who is kind, endlessly helpful and thoughtful. I have 3.5 years left to appreciate her before she turns into Kevin the Teenager like her sister.

[The Dogmother]

Thanks for that Ginette - wise words! I will hark back to this thread when she reaches that challenging age.

[Cinnamon]

Thanks for that Ginette - wise words! I will hark back to this thread when she reaches that challenging age.

 

And we will all be feeling smug with our grown-up daughters who have moved out

[Popcorn]

Don't worry clare, you'll be an expert by the time mine gets to teen years I can come and hide behind your skirt then!

[The Dogmother]

Thinking about it though - the taking time with them thing..... When we were little, my mother was an 'at home mum' and we spent loads of time with her, but I feel that I have a better relationship with Rosie than I did with my mother, and I have to work full-time, so our time together is limited. Perhaps it's to do with the fact that my parents weren't terribly 'with it' and didn't understand what young people in the 60s and 70s needed, as they had grown up in a totally different atmosphere of complete conformity. They are much more understanding and tolerant now, but never understood why I didn't want to be just like them and instead wanted to tear around on a motorbike - Mind you, I listen to radio 2 now!!!!

[Cinnamon]

Very good point Clare.

 

I had a good relationship with my folks,although it was a bit unconventional.

We owned & lived in a Nightclub (they were certainly "with-it"!) ,so Dad worked until 3am,which meant he slept most of the day,therefore I spent a lot of time with my Mum.

We were very close,& remained so until an accident 2 years ago which left her in need of 24 hour medical care

I was so close to her that even now I cannot visit her....its just too upsetting.

 

I have a different relationship with my girls - more cuddly & more hands-on,but then I reckon parenting has changed a lot in a generation.

My girls have less freedom that I was allowed at their age,but there are more dangers now,aren't there?

 

The opposite to you Clare,my parents were trendy,but I was a bit of a geek & a bookworm who didn't want to go out all the time & was much happier at home

I think I might have rebelled once or twice,but they didn't notice

 

I am now an at home Mum (& still a bookworm),working from home while they are at School.

I love it.......it gives me the time to make my home how I want it to be & I have lots of time & energy for the girls when they come home

[The Dogmother]

You're very lucky to have time to spend with your girls Sarah.

[Guest]

I work from home too, but I don't think I manage it very well and my children have started to complain that I am always busy! I think there is some truth there, but some of it is an excuse from them as to why they haven't . . . whatever!

 

My parents separated when I was 12 and I always felt I was lucky to have my mother all to myself. I still think that, because if I'm honest I want to spend my time with my husband, not my children! My children are all quite demanding and don't know when not to interrupt so we don't get a lot of quality time together. We have clearly got that bit of the discipline wrong!

 

Don't worry about working Claret, you and Rosie can spend just as much good time together going food shopping, cleaning the eglu, dusting etc. Make it fun, have some sing-a-long music on and have a reward for your hard work at the end! (an Innocent smoothie perhaps?) She'll remember that forever. (I don't do this! Why not?)

[The Dogmother]

Thanks for those thoughts Ginette - she likes to help out, but perhaps I could make it more rewarding for her.

[Guest]

My girls have less freedom that I was allowed at their age,but there are more dangers now, aren't there?

 

 

y'know - I'm not sure that there are... My kids have nowhere near the freedom that I had - nor do they seem to want it. My oldest (13) has only just started going on the underground on his own (and we still fret a bit!)

 

where I was brought up we weren't that far from where the Moors murders happened... they were caught when was 2yrs old.

 

i'd have to look it up - but I think I've seen statistics recently that show Child abductions and murders to be no or only minisculely) higher than they have ever been.

 

traffic is probably the only measurably bigger risk - and where i live, that's quite a big factor in them not going out on their bikes anything like as much as I used to...

 

I suspect that in trying to protect them from the big bad world - we actually do them slightly more harm in denying them the freedom to roam and discover that my generation learnt so much from...

 

Phil