Elderly cat breathing difficulties when purring

[BeckyBoo]

...you may remember me saying before that we host children from Belarus in the summer - they come for a month of rest and recuperation etc, we've done it for a couple of years and were due to have two children, one of our first plus her sister, in July. Well, I've had a lot going on in the last week, OH and I haven't been getting on at all as he's been out of work doing courses and then dossing about ( ) which has cost us money, I'm still working stupid hours plus doing all the woman things - juggling the whole world at once - and then last Saturday (9 days ago) my mum announced she had hurt her foot, then it became very infected, and she ended up being admitted to hospital last Thursday. So of course as well as the 3 kids and the animals and work and everything I've been doing a 24 mile round trip every day since last Sunday to feed her cat, visit her in hospital, school run, you get the picture, plus with work I only get 4 hours sleep a night for 6 days (only a couple more to go now). So, with all this going on and with no end in sight, on Friday I emailed our Cher"Ooops, word censored!"yl Childrens Lifeline coordinator and said with everything that was going on (mainly thinking about me and OH) I didn't think we would be able to host the girls this year. She has very fabulously managed to find them somewhere else to go, two weeks with one family then two weeks somewhere else, but a day after saying it, in fact as I was saying it, I was thinking that really I desperately wanted them to come. So I emailed her straight back to say look, sorry for mucking her about but this was the circumstances and could we please please have them after all. And they've said no.

So I'm gutted. I've got to tell my girls that they won't be coming, poor Dziana and Vika won't be coming to us like they're expecting and will have to move families half way through (which is always traumatic for the kids as they get comfortable and used to where they are) and it's all my fault.

I don't blame the coordinator at all, what's to say I wont change my mind again (I wouldn't) and she has to put the children first, I'm just feeling really gutted that I just didn't keep my head down and my mouth shut for one more day when I would have been better able to see the wood for the trees. I was really low when I told her we couldn't do it.

 

Oh well, just a self-pitying e mail to say how gutted I am this morning.

 

Mrs B

[Cinnamon]

Just a very quick reply to say how sorry I am Mrs B.

 

I think that in the circs its probably wise that you don't have them,as it sounds like you have heaps on your plate already,but i do understand how upset you must be.

Can you meet up with the girls during their visit at all?

[Tina C]

Oh dear, poor you.

 

My sister 'in law' also hosts so I know they will have a lot of activities lined up but would you be able to get involved in helping out in some way so that you see 'your' girls? I know its not the same but I am sure it would mean a lot to them, as it would to you.

 

And, you never know, the co-ordinator might have a little think and change her mind as well.

[Egluntyne]

Don't beat yourself up MrsB.

 

It sounds as if you have enough plates spinning at the mo, and that your initial thoughts re the girls was a wise one.

 

If you take any more on you will crock yourself up.

 

There is always next year to look forward to, when hopefully things will have calmed down for you,and the visitors will be well looked after elsewhere I'm sure.

 

All the best.

[chucknette]

Hi Mrs Bertie

 

You would have made the right decision at the right time and you are now just feeling disappointed.

 

But there is always next year and lets face it everything happens for a reason.

 

Best Wishes

 

Nette

[MedusA]

Personally I think you made the decision to cancel the visit with your practical hat on and it was the right one at the time. I can understand why you regret it and would want to have the girsl visit, but there is always next year! Here's hoping that next year is more settled for you.

[BeckyBoo]

But there is always next year and lets face it everything happens for a reason.

 

Nette

 

That is exactly my philosophy on life, thank you for reminding me of it. You're right, I will meet up with them whilst they're here, I've bought them a few bits already, but I will feel really really guilty when I see them. Still, they're getting their visit and that's the main thing.

 

Mrs B

[WitchHazel]

Sorry to hear that Mrs B; sounds as though it might be for the best really though.

 

As your not-so-D-at-the-mo-H is not working, perhaps you could have a chat and get him to take on certain household duties? In my experience it's no good talking generally "doing the housework" "cleaning the kitchen" "doing the hoovering", it needs to be very specific (e.g. "Hoover downstaurs every day" "sort the washing and do two lots of Whites and three lots of darks each week", "cook dinner on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday" - whatever).

 

Good luck.

[Snowy]

Poor you Mrs B But sometimes the things we do in the heat of the moment and then regret later, are actually the right things to do. You are having a rough time at the moment and it is important to give yourself a break and have chance to sort out things at home before you consider taking on anything else. What's done is done and it is pointless beating yourself up about it. Just make sure you use the time wisely to have a break yourself (otherwise what would have been the point?) and you will be in a much better position to take them on again next year. (((((hugs))))) xx

[MedusA]

Sorry to hear that Mrs B; sounds as though it might be for the best really though.

 

As your not-so-D-at-the-mo-H is not working, perhaps you could have a chat and get him to take on certain household duties? In my experience it's no good talking generally "doing the housework" "cleaning the kitchen" "doing the hoovering", it needs to be very specific (e.g. "Hoover downstaurs every day" "sort the washing and do two lots of Whites and three lots of darks each week", "cook dinner on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday" - whatever).

 

Good luck.

 

I know exactly what you mean there! If I don't spell it out to OH step-by-step I get a very lackadaisical result and not the thorough job I wanted! And why is that men have to use every saucepan in the house when cooking rather than rinse and reuse the same few?

 

Edited to apologise for what appears like a sexist rant.

[Willow]

So sorry you're feeling bad about your decision, but I do think it's the right thing for you to do this year and actually I suspect that is part of why the organiser won't change her mind. I'm sure she knows you wouldn't change your mind again but it will be obvious you needed a break.

 

Enjoy the time you do spend with them and make plans for next year but you can't do everything. It would be worse if the extra work was enough to tip you over the edge into exhaustion whilst they were with you.

 

Hope things improve soon !

[Olly]

Don't beat yourself up Mrs B - of course you're disappointed but think how much worse if you'd stuck with having them, and then not been able to give them a good time when they came. You will be able to see them while they're here and give them some presents, and I'm guessing from what you've said that you are in touch with them during the year anyway.

 

Two other families are now looking forward to hosting the girls, and so you've given them the opportunity to enjoy the experience. Maybe they are new to it, and this will encourage them to host some other children in future, while you have 'your' girls back again.

 

Sorry you're having such an overwhelming time at the moment, life is a bit of a roller-coaster, isn't it. I hope you are soon back on an upward bit of track.

[Mutrix Farmers]

Oh Mrs B you sound really busy at the moment, so it's probably for the best that the girls don't come to you this year. You actually sound like you need some "me" time, if not now then in the very near future, because if you don't get any you could burn-out (or break-down) and we don't want that.

 

Write a list of jobs for OH, he can't see they need doing. I know that sounds stupid but men really can't see the pile of ironing, or the washing up bowl full of dirty dishes, they have tunnel vision!! My Dad gave me that advice when I got married!!

 

And you could re-assess the household chores. What is there that you could not do for a while, or do less often? Can someone else do them for you (thinking of OH here - the school run, they're his kids too aren't they??!!)

 

Take care of yourself Mrs B

[Lesley]

Can't add anything to all the above. Hope it all works well and I'm sure the girls will understand and look forward to seeing you whilst they are here.

[Rona]

Ditto all the above. I think Claret's friend Prudence probably paid you a visit and helped you to make the right decision.

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so frazzled, hopefully things will lighten up soon.

[The Dogmother]

Sorry to hear about that Mrs B, sometimes you just need to cut back to maintain your sanity though. Don't berate yourself for it, enjoy the time you've got together.

[chelsea]

sorry to hear of your dilemma mrs b.

 

The girls are lucky you have had them before, not many people do such gracious and kind things as yourselves and offer your help in such a way to a charity. A lot of people could take a leaf out of your book and help charities also.

 

please dont feel bad, the time wasnt right and you made the right decision if so many things are going on at home at the moment.

 

You can do it again another year.