Single hen

[The Dogmother]

Yup, I know - I actually had the TV on! I was ironing

 

I was really shocked when I watched Supernanny this evening at how unaccustomed this family were to eating and preparing proper food. Their son was so averse to eating anything other than chips that he was vomiting at just the sight of the kitchen table. Meal-times had become a battle ground and he looked severely undernourished - the little love didn't even look comfortable being hugged.

 

Looks like they won through in the end and they are now all eating something so much healthier than they were, but a long way off 'proper food'.

 

I am sure that Buffie must see things like this often, but I found it so sad to see that they had lost touch with their food and where it came from to the point that htis 7 year old said 'is that what tomatoes look like?'.#

 

We probably don't find that normal, but I think that it is all too commonplace now.

[Guest]

It is very sad Clarre

 

Harrys best friend will only eat chocolate spread on toast or McDs

 

I have had him to tea a few times and I honestly don't know what to give him.

 

His mum said to just give him toast

 

When he went on the trip with the school for 3 days he only drank coffee and ate toast

 

He has a younger and older brother who both eat 'anything' but when Harry has been to tea at their house he has always had McDs, so maybe this is what they class as 'anything'

 

Another boy in his class ended up not going on the trip at all as he only ate chips

[Karen & co.]

That really is sad when you think about it

 

surely even the fussiest children will try something when they are hungry?

 

But even sadder that the little one hadn't even seen a tomato what were his parents thinking?

 

karen x

[Cinnamon]

It is shocking,isn't it?

 

It makes you wonder what on earth the parents are thinking by indulging the child with his food in this way.

I think that somethimes they do it for an easy life - give the child what they want for some peace & quiet........

 

Still at least in this case they knew that it was a problem that needed to be sorted out - how many more are there out there who just don't care if their child is eating badly?

 

Sad & shocking

[buffie]

It is awful Clare and Debs good grief. When the parents have issues or don't know how to feed themselves this is when the problems can start. It's confusing and the media and 'diets' haven't helped one bit.

 

BBx

[Egluntyne]

My son used to have a friend who would only eat french toast and he drank gallons of Banana flavoured Nesquick and Ribena.

 

It was assumed that we would provide these when he came round.

 

i never did. Not the sort of things I wanted in my cupboards.

 

He was pale, weak, fat and extremely badly behaved.

 

When my son went to his house, his mum always cooked a roast and would sit mesmerised when polished off at least 2 helpings.

 

Her son still will only eat a very limited diet and is still pale, weak and is now very strange indeed.

 

Tragic really.

[AnnieP]

It is truly sad. Most of this can be tracked back to laziness on parents' part I am afraid. The packed lunches provided for the children in my class are truly horiffic: White bread, often with chocolate spread or jam in, crisps, snack bars, cakes, maybe a yogurt or piece of fruit if they are lucky. All washed down with a squash drink. And then we have to put up with poor behaviour in the afternoons.... no surprise really.

Basically, it seems to be shove anything that is in the cupboard which is pre packed into the box and shut the lid quick. Many of the children don't even get sandwiches made.

 

The government's push on helathy school lunches has backfired, as we now offer healthy lunches to those who are on free school meals, but these kids feel ostracised because they haven't got the kind of junk food that all their friends have.

We have been slated by parents for awarding stickers to children who bring in healthy food from home, and one parent has written on the lid of the packed lunch box in indelible pen "Do not touch my son's packed lunch, It is none of your business" Whilst I agree that it shouldn't be up to schools to regulate what their parents pack them up, he is the fattest child in the school......

now.... off to work...... Have a nice day everyone!

[Cinnamon]

I saw in the paper earlier this week that one primary school has rules about what children can take....no chocolate biscuits,fizzy drinks or crisps etc.

 

Anyhow,they also have a rule about how many "snack" items a child can have,& this one child got told off & sent to eat his lunch in another room because he had one more item than allowed - & that extra item was a healthy Fromage Frais

His lunch was prefectly fine - he just had too many "snacks"

 

Madness.

[Mrs Frugal]

We have terrible problems with Tom. Ollie will eat anything and happily munches his way through a big plate of vegetables and will eat most fruits but Tom struggles with anything other than carrots, apples (peeled) and cubed melon along with his other limited range of accepted foods. He has Asperger Syndrome and a lot of these children can't cope with certain food textures in their mouths - Tom says his mouth "goes into a panic" when he has to try something new and that's why he sticks to the few foods that he knows and is comfortable with. As a result, his diet is pretty poor but it's not from lack of trying or explaining the importance of a balanced diet either.

[ali-s]

I didn't see the programme thankgoodness.

My son had and still does have issues with food It all started when I started him on solids at about 5 months old, he just wouldn't eat anything, not even sweet food like mashed banana.

Up until a couple of years ago mealtimes were a battle ground, I would get upset and frustrated because he just would not eat. Not even pizza, burgers , food like that. I would have happily taken him to Mcdonalds and let him stuff his face with c**p.

His diet consisted of plain boiled pasta with grated cheese, cereals with milk and broccoli ( about a desetert spoon size). If he didn't want to eat he would vomit over his plate

He is nearly 16 now and the last 15 years have been sheer hell. He will now eat pizza (cheese and tomato) white chicken (about half a normal sized fillet). The chicken has to be cooked with nothing else and heaven forbid if any of the meat goes slightly brown. Fish fingers (only two) and it takes him an age to get through those. Apple crumble.... he loves my crumble and I sneaked in a few Blackberries last time which he ate We saw all the specialist people when he was younger, including trips to the hospital. All they said is that he would eat when he was hungry........Not true He could go a whole week without eating and he would get really ill.

I have always fed a proper balanced diet, with few treats inbetween and those only if I thought they had eaten enough of the good stuff.

Daughter on the other hand is the complete opposite and will eat and try anything

[Guest]

2 comments:

 

My son has also been a very faddy eater. Cooked meals became an issue when he was 3 and I decided I wasn't going to subscribe to this, so he didn't have cooked meals. He liked chocolate spread sandwiches, so that's what he had. He progressed to jam sandwiches and more recently has included marmite and peanut butter, both of which he hated before, also chees and ham. By the time he was 4 he was eating cooked meals again, but he only likes something twice and then hates it, so it is very difficult to buy for him. But I am pleased that now, aged 8, I have got him to the stage of being willing to try something without a fuss. I have to force him to eat all of one thing on his plate which he does like. If I'm not careful, he only eats sugary things. BUT, I am not aware of any problems at school. I think he eats his dinners there without fuss, unless he genuinely doesn't like it.

 

Second, going back to Clare's original post. I didn't see Supernanny, but I can relate to what you saw Clare. My children tell me their friends think we're terribly posh (which we really are not!). This is mostly because we sit at a table to eat and use knives and forks! We do not use silver cutlery or linen serviettes (no serviettes at all mostly!); we don't have a waiter and in spite of our faith we do not start our meals with Grace. I do sometimes put a candle in the middle of the table and we have place mats. In talking to another parent, I discovered that her children's friends think she is posh too, for the same reasons. So what I think is perfectly normal, clearly is not!

 

Did anyone watch Evacuation on CBBC? There was a 12 year old on there who has a fridge in her bedroom, stocked with sugary drinks, chocolate, crisps etc. When she's hungry and the fridge is empty, she phones her mother on her mobile phone and her mother restocks the fridge for her! That was weeks ago and I am still shocked! They lived in a very ordinary semi, not a great big mansion.

[Mrs Frugal]

Yes, I saw that too Ginette and was shocked as well! There is no way that I would allow my boys to have food in their bedrooms and I certainly would not allow them to phone me to order more! I'm not a delivery service! If they want something to eat, they have to come downstairs, eat it downstairs then go back up again!! We also eat at the dining table with knives and forks and placemats. It's a time to get together and discuss the day we've had and it's also a place where we've tried to teach the children table manners which Tom has learned beautifully but Ollie is just a disaster!

[The Dogmother]

I missed the first 5 minutes, but it seems that they family never ate together - both parents snatched convenience meals or takeaways later in the evening. This lad was probably picky about his food anyway, but because his parents were making an enormous issue about it, including forcing food into his mouth , he became totally averse to any food at all, throwing tantrums and retching when any food went into his mouth.

 

Part of the supernanny brief was to re-educate the parents into eating proper food, and also to resolve their issues and work together to raise their family. Kate, this lad night have had an undiagnosed syndrome like Aspergers - he certainly had the same signs that you mention Tom has, and he had trouble interacting socially too (although your Tom seems fine with that). It was interesting, if horrifying viewing - the parents had the children's best interests at heart, but just had no idea how to go about parenting.

 

I tend to eat my main meal at lunchtime, because my body works better that way, but I always have a healthy snack in the evening and sit down with Rosie when she eats her meal. At the weekend, we always have meals together, usually with Phil too if he is down at my house. Despite beign Italian, my mother hates cooking, but we always had good, healthy meals and ate together.

 

I was horrified in the summer when some of Rosie's friends came round - one of the girls had no manners at all, only ate breakfast food and sat with her feet up on the table, chicking food around, while the rest of us ate. I had to explain to her that we have certain standards in our house, and that I expected her to conform with them while she was here It turns out that her mum is a c*** cook so they all just fix their own food at home and eat it wherever they happen to be at the time. I just wonder how she is going to get on in life and she gest older and isn't equipped with any life skills.

[Guest]

Kate, you are SO posh! Eating at the table and talking to your children! Table manners? Whatever next?

[The Dogmother]

I've never allowed Rosie to mis-behave at the table, the result is that I can take her out anywhere to eat and know that she'll be a credit to me. It means that we can be more relaxed when we go out.

[Mrs Frugal]

Kate, you are SO posh! Eating at the table and talking to your children! Table manners? Whatever next?

 

We still don't have a butler though, Ginette ! We talk to the boys at the table because it's the only time we ever see them these days !

[SarahJo]

Hi Peeps.

 

Thought I would post my tuppence worth here .

I work at school as a mid-day assistant, so see allsorts, re food and eating. One of the biggest upsets was a sickly (but not thin) 5 yr old, who ate nothing but a bite of a cheese spread sandwich, and a choc bar every day for lunch. He had most of his teeth removed, due to rot, had poor speech, concentration and was not very agile. His parents refused to come in a discuss his health and eating, and have since moved him to a private school - just intime, as social services had just received proof of neglect. This boy IS from a well off home, and the parents are in no way malnourished .... I felt awful for the lad., but what can you do .

 

In our house, Ben and Joe sit every night at a table with cutlery, and eat a home cooked meal. Sometimes when OH is off, we will all sit together and have tea. But every sunday regardless of OH's shift, we all have a sunday roast together, and chat about the week past and the week ahead. We take them to restaurants and have no hesitation in doing this, as they know how to behave at the table, and we too are not posh.

 

To be honest ALL meals are eaten at the table, and they look forward to special occasions when we sit at the dining room table with all the trimmings .

 

Anyway ...... thats my tuppence worth. .

[Cinnamon]

I've never allowed Rosie to mis-behave at the table, the result is that I can take her out anywhere to eat and know that she'll be a credit to me. It means that we can be more relaxed when we go out.

 

Table manners are so important.We have made a point of eating out regularly since the girls were tiny with the result of now being able to take them to even the poshest place & knowing they will behave well.

They LOVE going to a smart restaurant,although Devon was highly alarmed when we went to the posh place at Centerparcs & the Maitre'D placed her napkin on her lap She has requested that we go there again when we visit over her birthday next year,& is hoping that the pianist will do her a Green Day song

 

We have been out with other families & have had their kids running around , standing & eating on their chairs & even once opening a salt cellar & playing with the contents

 

We eat at the table, but informally.

We chat,laugh,argue & put the world to rights while enjoying our food & each others company.

To me that is what being a family is all about

[buffie]

Just wanted to add that it's easy to sit here without children thinking it's easy. I actually don't think it's easy at all and I also think there can be many reasons that problems develop (Kate your experience is quite different)

 

It's the parent rebellion in schools I don't understand ..perhaps it's a 'nanny state' backlash and some just ignorant but would be good if the message in school matched the message in some homes eh.

 

Edit...just checked all my mistakes hope all of them

 

BBx

Edited October 18, 2006 by Guest

[The Dogmother]

Too true Buffster

 

I was shocked by those mothers taking orders for junk food and passing it over the school fence to the children.

 

Rosie's school is reasonably strict about what children may bring to school in their lunchboxes, but she still comments about some of the rubbish that gets taken in.

 

In some cases, it's down to personal standards; my sister was brought up the same as me, but she can't/won't cook, so they live off junk food and takeaways. Her children behave so badly when they're taken out that my mother once had to take them out of the restaurant because she was so embarrassed and my sister wasn't doing anything about it. It's not the kiddies' fault - they are hyper because of the food they eat and don't get any consistent guidelines on behaviour.

 

I think it's sad

[Egluntyne]

Those mothers were from either Rotherham or Barnsley, can't remember which.

 

'Nuff said.

[Cate in NZ]

Such an interesting thread, and unsprisingly I'd guess, I agree with you all. All meals are eaten at the table, whether a quick lunch at the kitchen table, a meal at the dining table or in the summer in the garden. I can't bear eating off trays on laps.... not least because it means that folk are focussing on the TV rather than each other- we can watch TV for the remainder of the evening, all I expect is 30 mins for a meal together. Dinner is served at 6:30pm each evening, and everyone is expected to be there, although occasionally hubby will be late from work and I always work late on a tuesday. If someone's late 'tis a pity, but they have to eat the family meal which is re-heated for them. I'm far too busy to cook different meals for everyone, besides which my budget simply won't stretch that far.

The children know this and accept it, but visiting friends are often taken aback, and I'm appalled at the lack of knowledge that they have about food and manners, but quite obviously they have different values in place in their homes.

On the packed lunch theme, I used to spend ages making healthy lunches, and was quite proud of the things that I could do with crudites, home made flapjacks and wholemeal pitta bread Until I found out that the rotters were trading their lunches at school for chocolate bars and bags of crisps I still try to give them lots of healthy stuff, but I do throw in the odd chocolate bar or whatever... just to keep the peace and to have them eating their lunch and not someone else's

[ali-s]

We eat at the kitchen table too. I love that time of day when we are all together and we chat about our day. Hubby work shifts so he misses out every other week.

 

Our evening family meal is quite late at 8.00pm, but both Natalie and Jack have swim training until 7.30pm. If one of them is later home and we have already eaten I sit down whilst they eat with a cup of tea.

 

Occasionaly we have a take away on a Saturday night and as an extra treat it can be eaten whilst watching TV.

 

Natalies lunchboxes have lots of fruit and veg included, small pots of cherry tomatoes, chunks of raw carrots, cucumber and cubes of cheese. These I have to double the quantities as she shares them with her friends. Jack gets money to spend at lunchtime at the local shop near to the school. This is what his friends do as well and I know with his eating habits it is risky but I have to accept the fact that he is nearly grown up. I have done my very best for him. I have to let him make his own choices as to what he eats. I will still encourage him to try new foods and one day we will all sit down and all of us will eat the same meal.

[Mrs Frugal]

The boys have the choice of a packed lunch or some money for the canteen. Both tried the canteen for a few weeks but decided that they preferred packed lunches - probably more to do with the long queues than the food on offer!

 

Ollie has a homemade roll with cheese in, a Magic Muffin (these have secret ingredients inside which the boys don't know about - grated beetroot and grated apple along with a few chocolate chips ), an oat cookie, a bottle of water and an apple, banana or pear.

 

Tom has a roll with peanut butter, the same muffin and biscuit as Ollie plus a slice of melon cubed.

 

Both boys take a bottle of water which they top up during the day as they are allowed to drink water in lessons if they are thirsty. The lunchboxes aren't particularly healthy but they could be a lot worse. We've banned crisps and chocolate apart from the chips in the muffins!

[Egluntyne]

I found with my children that it was very easy to get them to eat a healthy packed lunch when they were at primary school.

 

The trouble started at secondary school when the undesirables mocked and poked fun.

 

It was very difficult as naturally, as a defence mechanism, my kids decided they didn't want to be different so took lunch money and ate c**p in the middle of the day.

 

I felt we were still on the winning side as they had a decent breakfast and a home cooked supper with those things, now what are they called again?...Ah, yes... fresh vegetables!